Thursday, July 31, 2008

Natalie

Natalie is on the move. Yesterday, she pulled up on the walker all by herself and starting pushing it! She had not shown much interest previously, so this was very exciting. She has also taken a step! She stands all the time and a few times yesterday, she moved one foot!

I will try to capture some video. The law of children says they should never perform when wanted - like on camera! We'll do our best to capture her brilliance!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Weigh-In

I'm not sure how, but somehow Natalie and Abigail just keep growing. I'm certain they aren't drinking as much formula as before. They are eating solids well, and we try hard to make those as caloric as possible, and it must be working.

Natalie weighed in today at 15lbs 11oz - up 2.5 oz. Abby is 16lbs 9oz and is up 3 oz.

I really don't know how they do it. They are the busiest little kids I've ever seen and must burn a ton of calories AND they don't eat like they should. But, somehow they keep growing. Whatever it is - we'll take it!

Dear God, Thank you for my babies

I've been doing a lot of blog reading lately. any of the moms from the preemie forum have blogs, and on their blogs they have links to other blogs for other preemies. So, I've been reading.

What I've discovered is that we are undeniably, undeservingly blessed beyond measure. I've read through stories where one twin or even two of triplets dies. I've read stories of multiple surgeries, ROP issues, feeding tubes, and oxygen tanks. I've read stories of Cerebral Palsy, handicaps, and milestones that may never be reached.

And, then I think about Natalie and Abigail. They were so small. In fact, Natalie, at 1lb 5oz, is among the smallest of many of the children I read about. Sometimes even babies born at an earlier gestation are bigger. One pound, five ounces is really small. Not that Abby's 1 lb, 13.5 oz is huge. Both were so, so small. But, neither have had any surgeries. That, in itself, is amazing. They are just so perfect. They are standing and almost walking, babbling, playing with toys, chasing the cat, and crawling on mommy and daddy and each other. They are perfect.

I make a big deal of their eating issues sometimes. It is a big deal, in a way. We do worry and want to make sure they are getting enough calories to grow and meet their nutritional needs, but the truth is, in comparison, they are amazing eaters. They aren't big bottle feeders, but they are incredible with their solids. Natalie and Abigail love to eat - and they will eat anything. They try anything we offer them and also beg for anything we are eating. When I read about many of the other children with eating issues, they are eating maybe, three bites of yogurt all day.

We are so blessed. The truth is, I have always wondered how we would have done with children with special needs. My fear is that I would have been a miserable failure. Could I have handled it? What would we have done? What would our life have been like? In my selfishness, I am glad we don't know. It's selfishness for me, but also for Natalie and Abigail. I want so much for them. I want everything for them. I want them to experience all the world has to offer. I want to take them to explore the world and learn of all its diversity, beauty and wonder.

Once again, I wonder why we have been so lucky when others have not. We have so much joy in our lives. Natalie and Abby are so wonderful. I love them so very much. Ever day I am grateful for them and so aware that it could be so different. I know I've espoused this sentiment before, but I really do think about it every day.

Dear God, Thank you for my babies and how incredibly perfect they are. Thank you for entrusting me with these precious souls. Never let me forget how close we came to losing them, and never let me take them for granted. Thank you, God. Thank you so, so much.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Poor Abby

Poor Abby. She's been crying now for at least an hour. I think her teeth hurt. I tried picking her up and holding her, but then she is just wide awake. She also stops crying which makes me wonder just how much her teeth are hurting or if she's just annoyed/bored/wanting to get up.

She's had tylanol, teething rings, and ambisol. I guess she's going to have to work it out. But, it's so, SO sad. I hate it. The girls don't cry much and I'm so glad because it just breaks my heart.

Also, I think Natalie would have some very strong words for Abby - if she could talk. If Abby makes this a habit, "shut-up sister" might be Natalie's first words.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Pearly Whites

Natalie has teeth now too! We've seen her two bottom teeth lurking below the surface for a few days. Yesterday, they popped up to where you can see them. Very exciting!

Abby also has one more new tooth. One of her top teeth is poking through - the top right one (if you are looking at her).

It seems like they are handling the teething well. At least I think so. They have been crying for the last 10 minutes in their beds. They usually go to sleep very well, but the last few days they wake up just after they are put down and then they fuss. It's hard to know if it's their teeth or not. They don't show any other fussiness at any other time of the day.


On an unrelated note: Natalie is standing up so well now! She stands and claps for herself. It's so cute. She's reluctant to take a step though. Soon.

Abby has decided she loves her walker car. She crawls over to it, stands up and pushes it around. She went about half way down the hall today - until she hit the wall. I've been working with Natalie on it, but she'd rather keep one hand on Mommy.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Surprisingly Good Weigh-In

We haven't felt like the girls have been eating well at all the past week. Yesterday was their weigh-in day, but I was busy being lazy with my birthday. I thought about weighing them today, then decided not to since I didn't want to get all upset. I figured weighing or not weighing doesn't actually change their weight and since we are doing all we can any way, I didn't see a point in getting upset.

But, then Lindssy, our new Speech Therapist arrived and asked about our weights. I figured we might as well see. So glad we did! Abby weighed in at 16.5lbs - up 5.5 oz. Natalie was 15.8.5lbs - up 3.5 oz. I was pretty surprised. It really seems to me that they have been drinking much less formula than usual. But, they have been eating lots of yogurt - which is highly caloric, so maybe it makes a difference.

In any case - for today at least, the scale is our friend.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

We haven't got proof, but there were witnesses!

Abby has officially taken her first steps! Today at Ya-Yai and Grandpa's house she moved TWO feet! One and then the other - and that's walking in my book.

It's absolutely amazing to watch. I thought she's be walking before their one year adjusted birthday (Aug 20), but I can't actually believe it is happening. We will try to capture video tomorrow.

Natalie is catching up fast, too. She is standing more and more. Her first steps are just around the corner.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Marvelous, Magnificent Multiples

Abby and Natalie are just amazing. One of the best things about children is watching them discover the world around them and conquer it with delight. When I look at Natalie and Abby, it's just amazing to think that 6 months ago, they were barely sitting up. Now, they are eating solids, babbling and standing. Soon, they will be walking and talking and reading and writing. It's remarkable.

One of the ways Abby has been practicing her standing is to push off of you when you are lying on the ground. Before today, she was just playing around and it would happen accidentally. Today, however, she realized what she was doing and was absolutely thrilled with herself. She would push off again and again and clap and laugh when she was standing. She was so pleased with herself. After she realized what she could do, she would do it over and over from pieces of furniture for the rest of the day.

Abby is just days away from trying some steps. You can see her thinking about it. Sometimes, if she's hanging on to one thing and reaching for another, you can see her thinking about letting go first and then grabbing the next thing. She is also showing more interest in the walker (little car that converts to push walker) and actually tries to push it now. It's really a very exciting time. I'm just hoping she will wait and try those first steps when Ben is home. Oh - not related, but still exciting - Abby has added M's to her vocabulary. So, now it's mamamamamama or mmmmmmmm. Just like with dada, she's not assigning the sounds to me, but at least she has the sounds.

Natalie has skills too! She is letting go more often and standing for longer periods of time. She seems to run a few days behind Abby so she doesn't seem to have figured out exactly what she's doing yet. I'm sure she will any day now. She is walking much better when we hold her hands - picking up her feet and moving forward. Her favorite thing is clapping. She claps all the time. In fact, she can ask her to clap and she will - most of the time. But, she responds enough to the word that she does seem to understand it. She also seems to understand "ball", which is one of her favorite toys. She has one she especially likes and I've seen her rummage through the tent of toys to find just that one. A few times we have asked her to get her ball and she will do it. Both girls understand "no" and will react to it. Sometimes it's enough to stop their behavior, but sometimes they'll look at us and try it again just to see what we will do. They also both understand "hi" and "bye" and will wave accordingly. Today, I was calling people and getting only voice mails. I was telling the girls to "say hi" and they both started waving at the phone instead. Babbling on cue is not yet one of their tricks:-)

Above all else, what I love most about our girls is how incredibly happy they are. They laugh and play and clap and are just delighted by everything they do. They love each other too. They will touch each other and laugh and smile. Sometimes they climb on each other and plant big, wet, slobbery kisses on each other. They do have their moments and sharing will certainly be a much needed skill. Yesterday, Natalie had something Abby wanted. Nat kept crawling away with it, and Abby would chase after her whining. When she couldn't get it away from her, Abby would stop, sit and flail her arms and cry. Basically - a little tantrum. It was pretty funny though. Abby is generally the more aggressive and tends to swipe toys more. But, Natalie is learning how to evade and defend her toys and even swipe a few herself. She started off much more meek and mild, and it's been neat watching her become more assertive in response to Abby. It's so fun watching their personalities emerge and develop and adjust to each other. They have their own minds and know what they want. It always amazing me to watch them dig through the pile of toys to find just the one they want.

Natalie and Abby are really amazing. Joyful, fun, adventurous, happy, thoughtful, and the loves of our lives.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Natalie and Abigail - 14 months old

Natalie
Abigail


Yesterday was the girls' 14 month birthday. Yes, I'm still taking the monthly pictures. I'll stop one day.

This month, Natalie and Abigail are sporting "big girl" outfits supplied by Aunt Kimmy. The pink, flowered collar onesie is accented by a brown and paisley ruffled skirt/bloomer combo. Interested parties should contact Aunt Kimmy for purchasing info.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Weight and Teeth

So, we panicked a little yesterday. I'm still not happy about the weight loss and zero weight gain for Natalie, but we've decided to do what all good parents do - blame it on teething. Ben did a little research and it turns out that loss of appetite can be a teething side effect. Somewhere in my head, I'd heard this, but in the panic of the moment, I forgot. Of course, I'm not sure what that means for babies who will continue to get teeth for the next year and yet desperately need to eat as much as possible.

I did stay up a 2am bottle in addition to the 11pm bottle. They ate both very well, so I guess we will keep doing it. Whatever it takes.


One funny follow-up: I mentioned the girls really like holes now - ears, holes in shirts, the paci...That also includes noses. Natalie and Abby are now nose-pickers. At least they aren't trying to eat the buggers yet.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Monday weigh in

So, guess what happens if you are a baby and you don't eat well all week? Nothing good.

Tonight's weigh-in (moments ago) has left us in a severely depressed mood. For the first time EVER, Abby has lost weight. Last week she weighed in at 16lbs 2oz. This week, 15# 15.5 oz. Natalie remained exactly the same at 15# 5oz. At least she didn't lose any weight.

I'd just decided that I wasn't going to worry about them. They were wearing little outfits today that showed their thighs, and truthfully, they have pretty chunky thighs for babies who are supposed to be wasting away. I had decided that Natalie and Abigail seem to know what their bodies need and we'd just have to trust that they were drinking what they needed. Well. I'm throwing that theory right back out the window.

So, back to worrying, back to obsessing, back to trying to squeeze in every possible feed and every possible calorie. I'm not really sure what else to do. If we feed more solids, they seem to stop drinking formula...I guess I can try to fit in an extra bottle. Maybe I'll start doing an 11pm bottle and then staying up and doing a 1:30 bottle.

It's so sad. The babies don't seem to know they are dangerously close to malnutrition. They are currently on the floor beside me playing with envelopes. They are the kind with the plastic windows so they are nice and crinkly. They are laughing at each other. And, just now, Natalie let go and stood along for about 10 seconds - her record so far. Yet another developmental milestone on its way to being conquered. Not too shabby for starving babies.

But, man, I really hated seeing that weight go down.

Look Out Tooth Fairy!!

FINALLY!!!! Our babies won't attend kindergarten with dentures! Well, at least Abby won't. A few weeks ago, on the way back from Ohio, we noticed what appeared to be teeth just under the gums. So, we waited and waited and waited. Every day or so, we'd rub their gums to see if we felt anything. Nope.

Leave it to Aunt Kimmy to find the teeth. Today, she said, "I think Abby has teeth!". Sure enough, you can feel little tiny teeth on the bottom. They definately weren't here two days ago. We are very excited. The best part is that it doesn't seem to have bothered her at all. There has been no unusual crying or whining or chewing on things. No apparent fevers or rashes or anything teeth-myth related. It's amazing. My girls just keep getting better.

I'm sure Natalie's teeth are just below the surface waiting to emerge. Maybe she wanted to see how Abby handled it first before deciding if she wanted teeth. Hopefully, Abby has told her how cool it is and Natalie will give her teeth the go-ahead.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

New Tricks

Natalie has a new trick today. This morning she was rolling around - over and over and over. It was so funny. She seems to really enjoy it. I guess somersaults are next.

Abby's new trick is less amusing. She has discovered holes - the most fascinating of which is one's ear. Other people's ears. Abby loves sticking her fingers in our ears. She likes other holes too. The holes in my t-shirts are a form of endless interest. She has also discovered she can stick her finger in the inside of her paci. So, she carries it around on her finger. That's actually pretty cute.

Oh - Abby does have a VERY impressive new trick. She is starting to STAND for several seconds at a time!! The longest was probably 15 or 20 seconds yesterday. I was talking to Kimberly on the phone and suddenly I was squealing. It's a lot longer than it sounds. Sometimes she just lets go of things and I think she forgets she's not holding on. It's really very exciting. Once she gets balance, walking is just around the corner.

EDITED TO ADD: Natalie has another new trick too! Today she stood alone for several seconds! I knew she wouldn't be far behind.

My little babies are growing up:-(

Monday, July 7, 2008

Weigh-In News

I weighed the girls today so see how our "stuff-them" plan has been working. The news was pretty good.

It's been exactly one week since I weighed them, and Natalie weighed in at 15# 5oz. She is up 5 ounces!! This is actually amazing. I think that is the most she's ever gained in a week since the ng tubes.

Abby did okay as well. She weighed in at 16#2oz. She's up only 3 ounces, but at least that's back on track with their average 3-4oz a week weight gain.

They actually haven't been eating very well. Especially Natalie. I'm not sure how they've gained weight. It must be that high-calorie, high fat yogurt. God bless it.

Mommy Bonk

Well, it's happened. It happens to every parent and thus to every child. At some point in a child's life, he or she falls off of or out of something. Parents freak out and blame themselves. Then, there's a story to tell for the next 70 years.

So, our time has come.

It's all Ben's fault, really. If he had not distracted me, it never would have happened.

On July 4th, I was finishing up feeding the girls. I wiped off Abby's mouth and her hands, took off her bib t-shirt, and removed the tray to her feeding chair. Then Ben said something to me. Still standing directly in front of the chair, I looked up. Then, BANG! Abby falls out of the chair face first. Not only did she fall out of the chair, she hit another wooden chair on the way down. The small wooden chair I sit in to feed them was a bit off-center (in between Nat and Abby's chairs) so she actually only swiped it with her cheek.

Of course, there was crying. Ben and I were actually quite calm. Ben was very kind in reassuring me that I'm not a terrible mother. It thought that was very generous of him - since it was really his fault after all:-)

Abby is fine, of course. Lots of hugs and kisses - and apologies - later, she was climbing on the couch happy as a lark. Just today she's developed a very small bruise on her lower right cheek. I was sure her whole cheek would swell and turn colors and we'd be housebound for a week.

Well, we've at least gotten Abby's mishap out of the way. Although Ben has dropped her on her head a few times, Natalie hasn't fallen off anything yet. I'm sure it's just a matter of time...

Friday, July 4, 2008

Where's Willy Wanka When You Need Him?

Of all the Willy Wanka delectable edibles Willy Wanka created, my favorite has always been the chewing gum that provided an entire meal as you chewed it - complete with dessert. Not only was it nutritious, you could taste every morsel going down your throat. Of course, there was the small problem of turning into a blueberry at the end, but I'm sure that could have been worked out.

I have always dreamed of a piece of chewing gum or little pill that one could swallow and just be done with the whole eating thing. Food is just too much trouble.

We have an interesting paradox taking place in our house. At the same time that we are trying to stuff Natalie and Abigail with as many calories and fat grams as possible, Ben and I are trying to cut as many as possible from our diet.

We have now been on Nutrisystem for 4(me) and 5(Ben) days. We are starving and miserable. We are so hungry. All we do is talk about food, think about food and wish we had food. Being on a diet sucks.

I suppose it will all be worth it in the end. We will be thin and beautiful and have lots of energy to chase around Natalie and Abigail. But, for right now, we will dream of ribeye steaks and mashed potatoes with lots of butter and sour cream and cheese and bacon bits. I think I'm going to cry.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

A Not So Good Day

Well, the girls are doing great eating their solids. The problem is they have stopped drinking their bottles. They ate so badly today. Natalie all but refused to eat at all. For her bedtime bottle last night and twice this afternoon she only ate between 20-60mls each time. Bad, bad, bad. The only time they have eaten well is in their sleep.

I'm most distressed. I'm not sure if we should cut back on the solids again so they will drink their formula. My theory is that the extra calories and fat in the solids are making them feel full longer.

So now we don't know what to do. Do we cut back on the solids so they eat more, which doesn't solve our caloric intake problem. Or do we keep feeding solids at the risk of losing formula, which also doesn't solve our caloric intake problem. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Oh - thanks to those who have offered suggestions. We will give them a try.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The Not-So-Good News

Well, I weighed the girls today. They weighed in at just at 15lbs (Nat) and 15lbs 15oz (Abby). Since I weighed them last on June 18th (10 days), they've only gained 2.5 oz and 1.5oz, respectfully. In 3 weeks (since June 10th), they have each only gained 4.5 oz. This is very, very, very bad. They should have gained about 9-12 oz. I am most disheartened.

We aren't tracking their volumes anymore (although I am tempted to start again), but I'm sure they have only been eating around 600mls. I'm pretty sure that it's closer to 500-550mls on some days. We have also traveled quite a bit in the past three weeks. We have been to my mom and mema's and to Ohio. Those travel days are so rough on the girls. They just don't eat well on the run, so to speak, such as in the car, in a restaurant, or on the side of the road. In addition, Poppy and Aunt Kimmy were here this weekend, and although we had lots of fun, it did affect their nap schedules a little. Ben and I also went out one night, and while we were out, the girls ate very little of their bedtime bottles. All the travel and disarray have clearly taken a toll on them.


So - we've put a moratorium on travel for a while. I was supposed to take the girls to my mom's again this week, but we aren't going. We need to stay home and focus on the girls eating.

In addition to restricted travel, I'm going to tighten up their schedule and be more strict about where and when we go out (on our already rare Walmart/Target trips) to make sure they don't interfere with any feeding times. We are also increasing their solids to three times a day. This is one reason I'm tightening the schedule. Fitting in three feeds, 5 bottles and naps takes some organization. We are sprinkling everything with Duocal, sugar, or heavy whipping cream. Someone on one of my preemie blogs suggested adding cream to their formula. I'm willing to give that a try.

I'd been feeling okay about their weight. I'd slacked off worrying about exactly how much they eat. Hmmm, seems like that was a bad idea. So, I 'm back on monitor mode. Ben and I had yet another conversation about whether or not we should go ahead and get g-tubes. They currently only get about 600cal from formula a day. It's tired to determine the solid caloric intake, but it's probably less than 200cal. So on a good day, maybe 800 calories. They need at least 1000 cal. to grow normally, never mind catching up and pulling ahead. I have a growing concern over what the lack of calories is doing to their minds and bodies. Our greatest concern with the g-tubes is that we will find that their little tummies just can't handle a larger volume of food. My fear/suspicion is that if we try to pump them up with more food, they will just throw up - a lot. Then, we will have babies who are eating the same amount but had to have surgery. I guess we could at least be consistent with the tube. We can make sure they get their 600mls or even 700mls.

Ahhh, the rambling of a mother in a quandary. We honestly just don't know what to do. For now, we will push every fattening food we can find and hope something works.

Thanks for reading my ramblings....

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Extra! Extra! Breaking News!!

We have sippy cup breakthrough!!! It's pretty early to say definitively, but Abby and Natalie both figured out how to suck on the sippy cup just moments ago. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's a different kind of sucking motion than a bottle, so they have to figure out how it's different. Of course, we'll have to try again a little later (maybe show off to Daddy) and hopefully they remember how to do it. I have a feeling though, that it's one of those things that once the figure it out - they've got it.

In even more exciting news - Abby was sucking on a straw!! Not just any straw, but a special baby cup straw (no-spill) that required that you bite down on it and suck at the same time in order to get the liquid out. It's very strange - and very hard. It took me several minutes to figure it out. It's very hard to see the liquid going through, but she was definitely sucking and sucking and appeared to be swallowing. Again, I'm hoping that this is one of those things that once it "clicks", they have it.

This is potentially big news. First of all, they can't/aren't supposed to use bottles after one (adjusted age for us). Our girls would have a pass for a while since eating is more important than anything, but I really didn't want them heading to kindergarten with bottles. So - sippy cup = yea!!!! Second, I have fantasies of Natalie and Abby loving their sippy cups SOOO much they they suddenly start drinking copious amounts of milk and are suddenly cured. We'll see.

Anyway - sippu cup mastery is big news and I just had to share:-) Yea Natalie and Abby!!