New Worst Day - Friday after Thanksgiving

So, if last Saturday was bad, today was even worse.

First, as mentioned on a previous post - my milk is on vacation. As of this morning, we had one reserve frozen bag left and I had to get up at 7am to pump for the 8am and I barely had enough. In fact, there wasn't enough for the 6am, and Ben had to add formula to it which affected how well they ate this morning. We have determined that the girls hate the Elecare. They have been doing so much better drinking straight breast milk. I have been worried sick about what we would do if my milk goes away and they are stuck on formula they one: hate and nearly refuse to drink, and two: it costs $35 a can.

Second, we had a peds appointment at 9am. I was kind of excited because I felt the girls had done well, especially Abby, and I was excited to see their weights. I was also apprehensive since I knew the dr was in favor of tubing. I have this thing about not wanting to get into trouble. It's very juvenile, but I hate to do things wrong or have people disappointed in me in any way. So, I was a little anxious.

Abby weighed in really well - 10lb 1.2oz. She's gained 6 oz since last Thursday, 11/15. This is great. Natalie, however, had only gained 100grams, just over 3 oz. Ben was with me and we told the dr how much they were eating and she said it still wasn't enough. I told her I'd email Dr. Malcolm to see if he wanted to see us sooner than three more weeks. Ben would later say that he didn't sense any disapproval or major concern. All I heard was, "they aren't eating enough".

We did ask about switching to a different formula and she gave us two different ones to try out. Of course, when we went to Babies R Us, they didn't have either.

When we got home, we walked in and it was just chaos. Our house isn't that big and with my dad, Peg, sister, step-sister, Elianna, and 2 babies, it was a mess. I tired to pump which of course yielded very little. Then I started cleaning the kitchen and things just got worse and worse. I'm not sure how, but soon there was yelling and tears and I hid in my room again.

In the end, we kicked everyone out of our house. Well, it wasn't that harsh (I hope!). We already had a hotel room for Friday and Saturday nights that we had planed to escape to at least one night. Instead, we decided what would really help was to stay in our own house and get things done. So, Dad, Peg, Loren and Kim took the girls on their first overnight and hotel stay. It was wonderful for us. Ben went to bed at 8:30 and slept until 8 the next morning. I organized some baby clothes and pumped a lot. I didn't go to bed until 2:30am but I felt rested the next morning.

The only reason this was able to work was because Kimberly found the Neosure at Walgreens. In a stroke of luck, the girls loved it. Since I was out of milk, they could take it to the hotel and give them formula. It was a godsend - had they refused the formula, they wouldn't have been able to leave.

Saturday night everyone came back to our house and we were the ones who left. They had all gotten us gift certificates to the movies and to dinner. We didn't have time for dinner, but we caught our first movie in months - "American Gangster". Then we went back to the hotel. It was very nice to get away.

The girls seemed to enjoy their special time with Poppy, Nanny, Aunt Kimmy and Aunt Loren. I was so great to leave them in good hands. We can't thank them enough. We really needed a break and a chance to relax. We are so blessed to have a family that is so supportive and willing to help us in any way. We love you guys so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Got milk?

'Cause I don't. Where it went - I have no idea. In the last 4-5 days, my milk has taken a vacation. Ben even stayed home Wednesday so I could pump as much as possible. It seemed like I pumped all day - almost every two hours. I was managed to at least keep up between feeds, but then we had to start pulling our reserve milk from the freezer. Today, we went to all formula since we only have one little 6oz bag in freezer. It's been awful. Last time this happened, I pumped a lot over a weekend and it came back full throttle. This time, it doesn't seem to be working. I don't know what the problem is.

Most people are coming down on the side of stress, and I suppose that's possible. The problem is the less milk I get the more stressed I get. I read something about the thyroid affecting milk production. I did have an under-active thyroid that really needs rechecking. If my milk doesn't return by Monday, I'll probably see a doctor.

Girls' First Thanksgiving

As Ben and I spent a few minutes debriefing before bed, he asked me what made this day a success. I replied that everyone was fed. His answer was, "we survived!" I guess with all that's going on that is a small miracle.

I actually wasn't especially stressed about Thanksgiving. So what if the house is a mess, the kitchen floor gross and 12 people are coming over. Whatever. I refused to let it bother me. I had my family to cook so it wasn't just me and Ben. We didn't even get started until nearly 1pm. We did a ham and a hen and a bunch of sides. Ben's mom brought some things and Reagan brought several desserts including pecan pie - Ben's favorite. My sister made some low-cal, splenda pumpkin pie which was quite good. I figured we'd eat when it was ready so it didn't stress me much at all. In the end we ate around 6ish and it was all delicious. The good thing about having a dinner at your house is that you get to keep all the leftovers! Mmmmmmmm.


In the end, we had 13 people - and two little people. We were joined by Ben's parents, grandmother, Jeff and Reagan, and Reagan;s dad. On my side we had my dad and step-mom, my step-sister, Loren, my sister, and our little friend Elianna who just turned 11 and who Abigail is named after. Elianna's dad, Adam, also joined us for a little while. We missed my mom and grandma though. It was kind-of crazy and crowded but mostly good. The girls were very well entertained.


It's hard to believe Natalie and Abigail's first Thanksgiving has come and gone. We dressed them in the most beautiful fall dresses my mom bought for them. They were so beautiful and looked like such big girls. They are really the best babies. All those people and they never really fussed or cried. We made sure they had some down time and quiet naps, but they did so well.

All in all, it was a wonderful day, and we truly have so much for which to be thankful. God is very good, and we are very grateful.

Our plan is working!

Take that, you doctors!!

Natalie and Abby are doing great. Abigail has hit 500mls yesterday and will again today. That's the most she's ever taken! We also weighed the girls tonight. I ordered a scale last week (which my sister graciously paid for - thanks sis!), so I could keep up with their weight gain. I weighed them Saturday night, and Abby has gained 4 ounces since then!! That's incredible! On our scale, she has now hit 10 pounds!! We are so proud of her. Natalie is also making progress and is hitting 400ml. She has gained almost 2 ounces since Saturday. She is now 8lbs 14oz!

They are also taking larger volumes. We started giving them just breastmilk (no Elecare) since they seem to like the taste better. Well, I assume that since they seem to eat more of it. Natalie has taken several 60ml feeds and Abby 75ml and 80mls! It's all very exciting. We have high hopes that by next week this time we will be hitting our target totals.

Metric System Solved!

Thanks to my Father-In-Law, I know understand where I was going wrong with the metric system. Turns out the doctors had it right and I was wrong. I know, I know - it doesn't happen often, but when it does I am big enough to admit it.

Here's where I went wrong:

Example: When I (ie. the computer) convert Natalie birth weight of 604 grams directly to pounds, I get 1.33 lbs. When I read that, I read 1 lb, 3.3 ounces. However, the .33 part is not ounces, it's .33 of a pound. Now, if pounds were in unites of 10 like the metric system, my initial reaction would have been correct. But, pounds, of course, are in units of 16. So, the .33 of a pounds has to be converted to ounces through a unit of 16. When you convert .33 pounds into ounces you get 5.28 ounces. So, that puts Natalie's birth weight at 1 lb 5.28 ounces. Just like the hospital said.

It sounds silly, but I'm really glad I understand it all now. It was really bugging me that the numbers weren't working out.

Thanks, Richard. Now, we now who's doing the math homework. I think I'll stick to the liberal arts like religion and history.

The M.O.M. degree

In the past 6 months, I have earned two degrees: my BA in Religious Studies from UNC (FINALLY!!!) and my M.O.M. degree. My M.O.M. degree comes in two parts. I have the standard degree awarded to all moms, and the advanced, Mother of Multiples degree. It's sort-of like a double (he he he) major. After a few months of settling in, I am now prepared to put my degree into practice.

My first official act is to challenge the M.D. degree. This time, Mommy knows best. My girls are through with the NG tube and the doctors are just going to have to live with it.

Friday night/ Saturday was the worst day since the girls have been home. I mentioned in a previous post the Friday night plan to gavage 350mls slowly. After only 200mls, they had thrown up and I plugged the plug on any more gavage feeds. We were going back to the 2-hour schedule and hope for the best.

Saturday was mostly really, really awful. They ate almost nothing all day. Their amounts were pitiful - 15mls, 20mls, 10mls. It was a mess. It was so frustrating since now we were totally dependent on whatever they would eat. I also hadn't forgotten that whole starving brain thing.

It was definately my worst day, which is pretty awful since I didn't even get up until almost 12pm. There are however, a variety of reasons for this, not all directly related to the girls not eating. If you had to describe me, those of you who know me would likely describe me as very extroverted: bubbly, excited, talkative. I've been accused of being able to carry on a conversation with a brick wall. For those of who you don't know me personally, you can be assured that I am equally as verbose in person as on paper (or computer). The little known truth is that I am actually a "learned extrovert". As a child I didn't really play well with others and happily spent many hours playing by myself. When I reached high school, I made the cheerleading squad, joined a bunch of nerdy clubs (like Peer Facilitators) and I forced myself to master the art of conversation. Well, my mastery of it may still be up for discussion, but I did manage to pass myself off as an extrovert. I even passed those little personality tests under extrovert. But, beneath the surface lurked my introverted self in need of plenty of time alone.

By Saturday, I had been surrounded by people for over two weeks. My sister had arrived two Fridays before and we went to my mom and mema's. I spent 9 days there. Ben and I traveled back on Saturday, and Sunday was the only day that was just Ben and I and the girls. Monday, Ben's parents stopped in for a visit. Tuesday, we had a 4 hour doctor's appointment which ended with the reintroduction of the NG tube. Wednesday, Ben's grandma arrived to stay until Saturday. Saturday, Ben's parents, Jeff and Reagan all came over for Grandma's birthday and to see the girls. So, I had not had a single day to just myself (and my girls) in over two weeks. Add to that the stress of the girls needing re-tubing and their new refusal to eat, and my inner introvert was screaming to get out. So, I did what all stressed-out, introverted people on the verge of a nervous breakdown do - I hid. I went to my room and hid until everyone was gone. Shameful, I know, but necessary. I just couldn't handle it any more.

Fortunately, the girls took pity of me. After attempting to breast feed Abby and seeing her interest in it, I decided to try a bottle of straight breast milk. She sucked down 75mls. She only took 25mls at 10pm, but followed that at 1:30am with 80mls! Natalie had a similar reaction: 85mls, 60mls, and 50mls. Sunday, we continued the Elecare-free Breast Milk, and Abby took 412mls and Natalie 445mls. This was more than their totals for the three previous days COMBINED. We started add ing some Elecare back to the milk for the calories and the girls continue to do well. They have each had several 60ml feeds today and will pass 450mls and inch close to 500mls for the day.

We still need another 100+mls per day, but we are getting much closer. I am not especially looking forward to telling the doctors we are NOT tubing the girls any more. I know I'll get resistance. But, I also know that my girls will not progress on the tube and are doing far better without. I have every confidence that had we continued on our 2-hour plan last week, we would have been where we needed to be by now.

There are times when parents have to trust their instincts. There's probably no data, but I would suspect the number of children who have been saved by their parents' gut feelings numbers in the hundreds of thousands. When it comes down to it, a M.O.M. degree isn't worth all that much. It doesn't get you a better job and you can't take it to the bank. But, it does empower you to fight for your children for what you think is right for them. It's said that possession is 9/10ths of the law. Let's hope that works in medicine too, because Natalie and Abigail are MINE, and this time, Dr. MOM is in charge.

This just isn't working

I am so frustrated, mad, desperate, and annoyed. The days since Tuesday night and the recommencement of the feeing tube have been just awful. Everything has just gone downhill so fast.

The girls are struggling so much with their tubes. We have tried several combinations of amount versus time given for their gavages and we just can't get it right. They keep throwing up. Tonight's (Friday night) plan was to gavage 350mls at 70 mls/hour until finished - about 5 hours. We started at 10pm. I checked on them several times, and when I checked at 1am, they had both already thrown up after only 200mls. They were both also very nasally congested. This is just ridiculous. I stopped their feeds and will give them about an hour then pull their tubes to let them recover.

I've been doing a bit of research on the net. The doctor says Natalie needs 550-600mls of milk a day and Abby, 600-650mls. I found one source specifically for low birth weight infants that makes the following recommendations:
8lbs - 15-18oz or 432-540mls
10lbs - 18-23oz or 540-675mls
12lb - 22-28oz or 654 - 825mls

When you look at the numbers, especially for Natalie, we were getting so close to those totals with our two hour feeding plan. We were approaching 400mls and I feel confident they would have only continued to progress.

Since starting the gavages, the girls have taken less than 200mls each day. Today they took less than 100mls by mouth. They simply won't eat. I will grant that they had shots yesterday and have been running fevers that could affect their appetites. However, they often act hungry, begin to suck on the bottle, then stop and let hte milk run out their mouth. I think their throats are sore.

Personally, I'm ready to go back to our 2 hour schedule. We bought a scale and can weight them and monitor their weight. Maybe we can tube them two days a week to help them maintain. All I know is my children are miserable, we are miserable, and all the progress we were making has just gone right down the drain. Remember when I said I was mad. I think I'm actually furious.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I can't wait to start over and get our babies eating again. I know we can do better than this.

Happy 6th Month Birthday!

Wow! The girls are 6 months old today (well, the day I started this post - Nov 15). Isn't that amazing? Of course, they look like they were just born size-wise. We had a peds appointment today and the girls weighed in at 8lbs 10oz and 9lbs 10oz. The doctor was very thrilled with their developmental progress. She placed them at about 4 months in corrected developmental age. This is fantastic since it places them only 2 months behind their actual age. Not bad considering they were 3 1/2 months early! She also said that their brains had not been starving to death. She said she would have told me if she'd been really concerned. As I had hoped, the body in all its wonder sends calories first to the places that needs them the most. The fact that they were gaining some weight meant that there were at least a few calories left over for growing. Thank goodness we didn't do any permanent damage. Mommy guilt resolved.

The 6 month mark feels like some kind of milestone. There were certainly days when we weren't sure if Natalie and Abigail would ever see 6 months. For me, I think the scariest days were those 10 days between when we found out about the TTTS and their birth. There were so many questions and possible scenarios - and few of them were good. I remember the most horrifying thought was the possibility of having to choose to let one baby die so the other might live and be more healthy. Even the idea of having to choose was heart-wrenching. For us, we would have never allowed one baby to die to save the other. We would have delivered them both and hoped for the best. For me, it was the hardest decision we never had to make. I was almost grateful when circumstances deteriorated to the point where delivery was the only option.

I actually felt a great sense of relief when the girls were born. The fact that they were born alive felt like a victory for me. I felt like they were better off outside the womb in the hands of the doctors than inside of me where there was little that could be done. Outside, at least there was a chance.

Once Natalie and Abigail were born, I don't think I ever believed they wouldn't survive. Memorial Day weekend, when they were so sick and really on the brink of death, Ben and I had no idea so we never really had to panic. My concern was primarily how they would survive, rather than if they would survive. I worried about whether they would spend their lives in pain or unable to do the things that other children do. The early days when they were on and off the vent, CPAP, and nasal canula were the worst. I worried about their lungs and if they would ever learn to breathe of their own. Once they mastered that, I was sure everything would fall into place. That was also about the same time they started getting really cute. They started to look like real babies and they were gorgeous. I hate to brag, but everybody thought so. All the nurses raved and raved about how beautiful they were. Okay, actually, I like to brag:-)

There were so many days when everything seemed to go exactly the right way. They were doing so well they moved to TCN at Duke. They started trying to bottle feed and breast feed with great success. The were gaining weight like champs. We were so encouraged and sure they would make it home even before their due date. Everything seemed perfect.

In some ways, the last 10 weeks in the hospital were the most frustrating. The girls were moved to Durham Regional on July 23 while I was in NYC with my sister. From then on, everything seemed to go downhill. They made so little progress while they were there. In fact, they got worse. I can honestly say, they left the hospital in nearly the same condition in which they arrived. My biggest regret in that I didn't fight harder for them to come home on their due date. The additional 4-6 weeks they stayed were completely useless. I think the doctors would still have them there trying to get them to eat if I hadn't insisted.

We had such high hopes for success in eating once they came home. Things started so well with Natalie, but have sadly not progressed as we hoped. Abigail was and remains a challenge. Sometimes I wonder if that extra time in the hospital did them more harm than good. I wonder what would have happened if they had come home earlier.

In any case, here we are at 6 months old. The girls have been home for 2 months and they are a delight. They are so beautiful and so much fun. It's so amazing watching them discover the world around them. They are really the most perfect babies. They sleep well, rarely fuss or cry unless really hungry or in pain, and are happy and smiling. Despite the moments of heart-ache, we are so blessed by the most amazing, precious babies. Being a mom is an amazing feeling. Even though I still feel like I'm on an extended babysitting job at times, I can't imagine being anywhere but at home with them. There is truly no where else I'd rather be.

Welcome Grandma

Ben's grandmother, the girls' other great-grandmother, arrived today from Michigan. She was so excited to see her great-grand twins, and we are quite happy to have her. She will be staying with us for a few days, then joining Ben's parents for nearly two more weeks. That means she will be around for Natalie and Abigail's first Thanksgiving!

Pictures, Pictures

Finally, finally there are new pictures on the photo site. I will continue to add more in the next few days.

For those interested, I also posted the videos we took while learning baby massage. If you have baby or young children, you can watch the videos and try it out.

We have quite a few videos we need to add. The girls are just getting so cute. They have been talking and talking and cooing and smiling. It's just so sweet. The videos do take a bit longer to upload, but I'll start working on it this week.

Enjoy our beautiful babies - we sure do:-)

Weight Update

I don't think I've mentioned in a while how much they weigh. Today we had a check-up at the Special Care Clinic at Duke and here are the results.

Abby: 9lbs 4oz.
Natalie: 8lbs 4oz.

Abby is still a pound ahead, but Natalie is catching up. When you look at them side by side, it is easy to tell the difference. When they are a part it is a different story. If Ben is holding one and I walk into the room, I have a hard time guessing who it is. I'm wrong half the time. They really look so much alike. If Natalie ever really catches up to Abigail, we're going for tattoos.

Feeding Schedule - Take #54

*big, big, big sigh*

Today was check up day at the Special Infant Care Clinic (SICC) at Duke. I was so excited going in. I finally had good news to report. The girls have been eating so well and have made great progress in the 10 days since the 2-hour schedule started. They've already added 10mls and were up to 40mls per feed. I was anxious to see how much weight they'd gained and put the g-tube on hold.

The only good news of the day was that they had gained weight. This is only good because gaining weight is better than losing weight. However, the change was minuscule. In the 18 days since they were last seen there, Natalie gained about 250grams. Abby only gained 125grams. They should have each gained over 500grams. Despite their oral progress, they just aren't getting as many calories as they need.

I actually knew this, but had decided that as long as they were gaining weight, I was okay with them being a little small. What I didn't know is that the whole calorie/growing thing is less about gaining weight and more about the brain. It seems the most crucial period of growth of the brain is the first 6 months and first year. This is determined by the head circumference. As the brain grows, it pushes the plates of the head apart and the skull gets bigger. I did know, of course, that the brain grows and the skull grows; I didn't realize it was directly related to the caloric intake. So, basically, their little brains have been starving. The doctor didn't say this, of course. That's my mommy-guilt talking. But, essentially, that's the danger. We'll let our imaginations run wild with all the horrible things associated with poor starving brains. I'm not sure how I missed this rather crucial piece of baby development. I don't know if it was just never mentioned, or I just didn't hear it. In any case - let a new feeding schedule commence...

So, they need about 600mls of souped-up breast milk a day. On our previous schedule of 10 feeds, they'd have to eat 60mls each time. Not likely to happen. On a 3 hour schedule of 8 feeds, they'd have to eat 75 mls each time. Definitely not going to happen - at least not in the next week. Keep in mind that the bigger they get, the more they need. That's why it feels like we are fighting a losing battle. Just when/if we reach one goal, the goal changes.

The doctor wants us to feed every 3 hours, 4 times a day with the hopes of getting 200+mls of milk. Then, we are to gavage 4 times during the night with 100mls over 1 hour each time to equal 400mls. If they can handle it, we'll go to 120mls gavaged. It's with a heavy heart I announce we are back on the ng (nose tube). Now, both girls need it. The doctor wants us to just stay on a straight 9, 12, 3, 6...schedule, but that means I have to stay up until 3am to start their feed and then wait until 4 to stop it before I can go to bed. Then I would have to get up at 9 to feed the girls. That's never going to work. So, we are trying a modified plan as follows:

6am - 100ml gav
9am - 100ml gav
12pm - 8pm - bottle as much as possible
10pm - 100ml gav
1am - 100ml gav

At least this is the plan for tonight and tomorrow. We are going to try to work out something that allows Ben to actually bottle feed the girls at 6am. It's his special time with them and he likes it. I have to say it makes me very proud, because he could be very lazy and just do the gavage. It's much easier. You just pour in the milk, hook up the tube, set the pump and press go. I'm not quite sure how it will work trying to bottle feed at 6am. You can be sure Schedule #55 is around the corner.

BTW, we haven't actually tried 55 different feeding schedules. I was just trying to make a point by picking an arbitrary large number. We have probably changed the schedule about a dozen times so I guess it just feels like 50.

Oh, one more thing to top off the day. Abby has her first ear infection. If nothing else, this proves she really is my daughter. My ears are so scarred that when doctors check them, they make funny faces and say "your ears just don't look quite right." The doctor said that they probably didn't drain properly after her cold. So it's a round of antibiotics for Abby and one more med for mom and dad to keep track of. Thank goodness for Microsoft Word and the "Insert Table" function. Where, of where, we would be without charts!

A baby's cry - A mother's pain

There is nothing worse than having to hurt your own child for their own good. Tonight I had to tube both girls for the first time in 10 days. It was awful. They both just cried and cried and gagged and gagged. They used to just cry at the time, then settle right down and go to sleep. Now that they are bigger, I think they are more aware of the tube and their discomfort and it was horrible. They cried and fussed for the longest time. They struggled to get comfortable in their bed and both looked just pathetic arching their little backs and throwing back their heads. Poor little Abby gets terribly congested with the tube in. You can hear her breathing as if she head a bad cold. They both finally settled down and we got the feeds hooked up and started.

It just breaks my heart to put them through it. As I listened to them cry, I also struggled to understand how anyone could willfully hurt a child without a medical reason. How can a person listen to the cries and wails of a child, especially an infant, while he or she is hitting or harming that child? It's just inconceivable to me. At the same time, as I listened to my little babies cry, I was strangely grateful. However much I hate, and however much they hate it, putting in a nose tube is fairly benign. There are far worse things that I could have to do, and that they could have to endure, if they were not so healthy. I think often about some of the other babies we saw in the NICU and we know our girls are so incredibly blessed and fortunate. They are really very healthy and things could be so much worse. Even as I shed tears at the sound of their cries, I give thanks that their tears will be short-lived and, as Ben reminded me, this too shall pass.

Roly Poly Natalie

I don't think I've mentioned that Natalie has rolled over! She rolled over for the first time from stomach to back the weekend Jo's mom was here several weeks ago. The first time was a Friday night. I, of course, was not here to see it. I was at the grocery store.

Natalie first rolled over on the couch. My mom saw it first. She was so excited, but Ben didn't believe her. Plus, there was the possibility that the unevenness of the couch helped her cheat a bit. So, they put her on the floor to see if she would do it again. Now, let me pause to say that this would have been the point at which I would have grabbed the camera/video camera to document this momentous occasion. Unfortunately, this obvious opportunity didn't occur to either my mom or Ben. *big sigh* It would have been perfect too, since she flipped over again! So, now I've missed it twice, although we did decide it wasn't a fluke.

When I arrived home, I heard the great news. I suppose it's karma really. As a nanny, I'm afraid I've witnessed several "first moments" instead of the parents. We tried and tired to get Natalie to flip over again Friday night, but of course she didn't. Fortune did smile on Saturday though when I did get to see her do it - AND I was there to get it on video!

I was beginning to think it was a fluke since she had not turned over since - at least 3 weeks. Yesterday, however, she did it again. We weren't really watching her closely, but we sort of caught it out of the corner of our eyes.

Abby has not yet managed to copy her sister, but I think she's very close. You can be sure we (meaning I) keep the video camera close at hand.

I'll try to post the rolling over video on the picture site. Even if you aren't impressed by her skills, you can get a kick out of the squealing of the adults.

By George, I think We've Got It!

I think we may have found a schedule that works. The girls are responding very well to the two hour feeding schedule. We started last Friday trying to get them to eat 30mls (1 ounce) each feeding. We are now up to 40mls each feeding with a minimum of 35ml. Natalie and Abigail are doing great! They take 40mls almost every time and usually no less than 35mls. We feed from 6am to 12 midnight (10 feeds) so they are consistently getting 350-400mls a day.

This is tremendous progress, especially for Abigail. She had been tube-free for 10 days! This is a new record. She has never been able to take so much by mouth for so long. Natalie has had 400+ml days in the past but not consistently. We are so proud of them!

As strange as it sounds, the new schedule is actually easier on Ben and I. It is no where near as stressful as before when we were trying to fight them to take 50-60mls or more and failing miserably. It still takes about an hour to feed them both (1 person), but at the end of the hour we have success, and it feels so good. We also get more sleep. At least I do. I think Ben is about the same. I am able to go to sleep between 1am and 2am and can sleep until 9:45am. Ben is doing the 6am and the 8am which helps me tremendously. Even though I went to bed after 3 am this morning, I awoke bright eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to hug the day!

The one downfall to the schedule is that is it pretty hard to get anything done. Since it takes an hour to feed both girls, I only have an hour between the end of one feed and the beginning of the next. Right now those hours will alternate between pumping (which takes AT LEAST 30 minutes) and playing with the girls. If I can work it right, they will nap the hours I pump. Then they nap between every other feed and we play and exercise every other feed.

I, for one, am feeling really good about our prognosis right now. I feel very confident that we will be able to avoid the g-tube for Abby. As long as they continue to gain weight, we should be fine. We will just continue to try to get them to take an additional 5mls every few days. If they reach a point where they can take 50mls we may try moving to a 2.5 hour schedule and increase the amounts more. Then we can hopefully move back to a 3 hour schedule in the future .

Thanks for all the feeding prayers. It's still a struggle, but we are making progress and we are feeling happier!

Feeding Schedule - Take #53

It should as no big shock that we are trying yet another new feeding schedule. My sister has long thought the g-tube was too aggressive a move. Thursday, we saw the pediatrician and she too expressed some concerns. Kimberly has worked with kids before who had terrible reflux and had problems eating. They feed them every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. So, that's the new plan - Round-the-clock feeds.

Our goal is to get them to take 35ml (just over an ounce) every two hours from 6am to 12am. They will sleep from 1ish to 6am. After looking at their charts, they eat so pitifully at the 2 or 3am feed that it just isn't worth the energy, frustration, and lack of sleep to fight with them to eat 15mls. Ideally, they will eat 40ml or more at the 6am, since it has been longer since they ate. Even if they don't, on this plan, they should get at least 350ml a day - just over 11 ounces.

There are several reasons for this plan.
For Natalie: She is just completely inconsistent in her daily intake. Sometimes she will do 400-450mls, but sometimes it's only 200 or 300. I'm hoping this will allow for a consistent intake amount.

For Abby: We are trying to avoid the ng tube and the move to the g-tube. Also, her stomach study Tuesday revealed that her stomach empties VERY slowly. She drank only 30mls for the study and it still wasn't out after an hour. Our theory is two-fold: one: she has a hard time eating more because she is filling up, and two: she's not hungry later because what she is eating is staying in her stomach. Although Abby is getting less than she has been by mouth AND gavage, she is eating far more by just mouth than before.

The other consideration is Ben and mine frustration levels. It is SO hard to struggle, struggle, struggle with them to get them to eat the 50-60mls the doctors want. It usually takes at least 30 minutes per child and most of the time it's awful. Also most of the time it's futile anyway. They eat what they eat and when they don't eat and we watch those totals fall short every day, we just worry and worry about them gaining weight. This way, we only have to fight over 35mls. usually they take it, although it can still be a struggle. But, at least in the end we are usually successful.

Stay tuned...the new winter schedule may be just around the corner!

First Road Trip

I've been absent in posting because our routine is a little different. Aunt Kimberly arrived Friday morning and we left town (finally) about 1:30 for our 5 hour trip to my mom and grandma's. It only took 8 hours. Why you ask? Well, when you stop every two hours to feed babies and it takes about 45 minutes each time, it adds some time. Bt we finally arrived and the look on Mema's face was worth it.

Normally, we wouldn't travel so far with the babies, but Mema fell about 2 months ago and can't travel yet. It had been so long since she'd seen the babies. It was just so important for them to be together.

It was great having Aunt Kimmy and my mom to help over the weekend. Kimberly had to go back Sunday, but Mom continues to be very helpful. I've even had long stretches of sleep. I think my mom is getting tired though. We are supposed to stay until Saturday, but secretly she may want to us to leave earlier so she can get some rest! (She'll kill me in protest when she reads this:-))

Since we are here, that obviosuly means Ben is home alone. He has been enjoying his rest, but he misses us quite a bit. Anyone want to place bets as to whether or not he comes to get us BEFORE Friday? I get half the take.

My mom, being the resourceful person she is, set us up with an appointment with the infant massage therapist at the Childen's Developmental Services Agency (CDSA). I have a case manager for the girls in Durham, but the one here has the only licensed massage therapist in the state. And, my mom just so happened to have worked with her before. It's great being connected! It was really great and the girls did great. They were so good we fit what would normally be 4 sessions into one hour. She was abe to show us massage for the whole body. I video taped it so I could remember the techniques later. I'm very excited about and hope it will help their gassiness, reflux and digestion.

I will try to keep up with posting this week. I was hoping to work on pictures this week too, but they aren't on this laptop, so you will all just have to wait. If I can post any I'm taking this week I will.

Thanks for tuning in!!

Thanks Anonymous!

If you check the comments section of the metric system post, you will find a brilliant explanation of metric conversion. I don't know who you are (since you didn't leave your name!!) but thank you, thank you, thank you!!

The *&%!@ Metric System

I am throughly confused. From the beginning, the girls have been weighed by the metric system - in grams. Apparently, the metric system is more precise. Of course, grams mean nothing to those residents of the most powerful and industrialized country on the world. Never mind the fact that every other country in the world, first and third world, use the metric system. But, I digress...

So, we get weights in grams and in pounds and ounces. Recently, I began noticing a discrepancy between the various scales they are weighed on and the lbs/ozs conversion. So I started doing some converting on my own. Now, I'm very confused.

An example...

Natalie birth weight: 604 grams. We were told that was 1 lb 5 oz. If you go to a conversion site and convert grams to ounces you get 21.30oz. If you do the math: 21.30-16(oz in a pound)= 5.30oz left. So - 1 lb 5 oz. However, if you convert from grams directly to pounds you get 1.33lbs. If you google (this is a new trick to me) "604 grams to ounces" you once again get 21.30oz. If you google "604 grams to pounds", you are back to 1.33lbs. If you multiply 604 by 0.0022(a conversion formula given by one site) you also get 1.33lbs.

(Abby's stats are either 1 lb 8.5 oz or 29.6oz = 1 lb13.6 oz (also what the hospital said. 840 * 0.0022 = 1lb 8.4oz.)

If you are still with me, you see my confusion. How is it possible that you get different answers if you go straight to pounds versus subtract the ounces? If there are any scientists willing to enlighten me, please, please, please save me!

So, now when I get their weights, I still have no idea how much they weigh! I think I'm going to go with the straight conversion to pounds since that also matches the formula conversion method. With that in mind, I changed the girls weights at the top of the page. Now, their survival and journey is even more incredible.

The Eyes Have It

The girls had an eye appointment today to check the progress of their ROP. Everything is looking very good.

Natalie had the best report. The ROP is gone in her right eye, although it is not completely mature. Her left eye is completely mature. Abigail is "looking" (he-he) good, too. Both eyes still show Stage 1(of 3), Zone 3 (of 3). It's the same stage/zone as her last check up but the doctor said they look better. I guess there are various stages of Stage 1/Zone 3.

All in all, a great report. So good they don't have to go back for 6 weeks! It's really amazing they have done so well, especially Abby. She was so close to surgery two different times. Considering that almost everyone in our families wears glasses, the girls are probably doomed anyway, but at least they don't have to worry about ROP.

Boo!

Babies' First Halloween!

Our first official holiday - at home at least. I really wanted them to have some kind of little costume but I didn't want to spend a lot of money on it. My mom found some at Babies R Us, but they were too big and too expensive. Saturday afternoon, while Poppy and Nanny watched the girls, we went to Party City to check out their offerings. Everything they had was too big and too expensive. But, Ben was at Old Navy and called to say they had onesies for 50% off! Now, that's my kind of shopping.

I have to say I was quite impressed. In addition to the little onesies for infants they had other costumes as well. At 50% off they were quite a deal. Note to self: don't forget to check Old Navy for Halloween costumes. Second note to self: Wait until the weekend before when everything goes on sale!

So, we got the cutest little onesies for the girls for only $3.75 each. Perfect. Natalie's is white with a black cat and black writing that says, "I'm so cute it's scarey". Abby's is black and has a white ghost and white writing that says, "Daddy's little Ghool". Very cute.

On Saturday, we dressed the girls up, put them in their stroller and with Poppy and Nanny in tow, trooped down to the vegetable stand just down the street to get baby pumpkins. We picked out perfect little Nat and Abby size pumpkins. We had grand plans to crave them, but that didn't quite happen. Next year can be their first carved pumpkins.

Tonight (well, last night now) our friends Michael and Lori came over for dinner and smore's by the chimenea fire. The girls dressed again in their little outfits and we took pictures by the fire.

All in all their first Halloween was a success - if by success you mean they had costumes and pumpkins. Maybe next year we'll hit the neighbors up for candy:-)


Speaking of...here's my halloween rant.

So, it's nearly 10:00pm. We are all gathered on our side deck munching on our smore's. A car drives by and stops. Three children come up the steps, knock on the door, and present their bags for candy. Here's my problem.

#1 - It's 10pm. Seriously. Shouldn't these kids be in bed? It's a school night. Even if it wasn't, who goes around knocking on people's doors at 10pm. In some places that will get you shot. I know people who go to bed before that.

#2 - No costumes. Not a one. I, being in a jovial mood asked the kids where their costumes were. One boy, about 8ish, said "I didn't want to wear one." Hmmm. Isn't that the point? So, I told him to wear one next year. No costume, no candy. Yep - I really did say that. And then the mother SHOUTS from the car, "they'll wear one next year!" Alrighty then.

#3 - Note that the kids are driving around IN A CAR. They didn't live in our neighborhood. There's no telling where they lived. They were just cruising neighborhoods for candy. When I was a kid, we did go trick or treating in a car. But that was when we lived in the country in the middle on no-where. Mom and Dad would take us to a few church members houses. I remember the days when you never went to strangers houses - only the ones you knew. Of course, those were the days of razor blades in the apples. I suppose the kids could have lived in the country. But, since we are miles from anything that constitutes "country", I somehow doubt it.

#4 - This is small, but as long as I'm complaining...They only;y had grocery store plastic bags for the candy (which were rather full, BTW). Ben commented on this. I think even the presence of a plastic pumpkin bag would have at least showed some hint of trick-or-treat legitimacy. As Michael said, "there's a fine line between begging on the street for candy and trick-or-treating."

The kids are lucky I didn't answer the door. That may not have gotten any candy. My only solace is that Ben only gave them one piece of candy. And, it was crappy candy. I accidentally picked up bananna Recee Peanut Butter Cups. Ugh. Who thought up that idea, I wonder. On second thought, we should have dumped it all in.

Next time children come tp my door at 10pm, I think I'll go ask their parents in their car what in the world they are thinking...

In honor of seeing "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" last night...

Good grief.

I'm Baaack...

Yes, I know. I've been rather absent. I thought about blogging so many times, but it's hard to be clever at 2am, which is the only time I seem to have. I pledge to do better though and make up for it with a barrage of posts.


So, get your scrolling finger ready and enjoy...

The $134,000 Question

So, the big question...What DOES a stay-at-home mom do all day?? Working men everywhere are dying to know. Recently, "somebody" determined a SAHM's salary would be $134,000 for all she does. Here's how I earn mine on a typical (non-doctor visit) day.

We'll start at just before midnight...

11:45pm - prepare for 12am feed
Pull out bottles and put in water to warm. Draw meds. Tube Abby (worst part). Comfort crying baby. Lay Abby down. Start gavage feed.

12am - 1am Feed girls
Pick up Nat. Give meds. Start bottle and hope she eats. After about 20 minutes, she quits. Put down. Take break. Try again. Repeat as needed. Somewhere during the hour, pause Abby's feed and push her meds.

1am-1:30-45am
Pump, pump, pump while watching shows on DVR. Current favorites: Ramsy's Kitchen Nightmares; Top Chef; America's Iron Chef and America's Next Iron Chef; Meercat Manor; Will and Grace

1:45-2:45am
Variations: continue to watch tv; try to blog; surf net; attempt to do paperwork (bills, thank you notes, etc) and realize I'm too tired; clean bottles, nipples, and kitchen; make bottles for rest of night; try to go to sleep before 3am feed - usally big mistake since I can barely drag myself out of bed.

2:45-4am
repeat 12am feed with the variation of usually falling asleep while holding and trying to feed girls. Also, add extra frustration of Natalie being too sleepy to eat in the middle of the night

4ish - 8:45am
Sleep

8:45am
Try to drag myself out of bed for 9am feeding. Usually fail. Success by 9:30 or 10m.

9am (if lucky) really 10am - 11am
Untube Abby; Prepare bottles, meds, etc. Feed Nat. Nat quits. Put Nat down. Feed Abby. Abby quits. Put Abby down. Feed Nat. Repeat until bottles are finished or one hour passes - whichever comes first.

Day now started, usually an hour behind. Girls awake. I need very much to pump. Put girls on floor - hope they play while pumping for about 30 minutes.

12 NOON - Mommy's favorite time of day. Daddy comes home for lunch!! If on schedule, help feed at 12:00. If off schedule, Daddy plays with girls while mommy pumps (if I haven't been able to). Try to start 12pm feed at 12:30 to get back on schedule. Repeat feeding schedule with Ben's help.

1:30ish - play with girls

2:30ish - probably need to pump again. Girls either went to sleep after lunch and are now up or have fallen asleep and I can pump.

3pm - try to get back on schedule. Prepare bottles, meds, feed Nat; feed abby; feed nat; feed abby, etc.

4ish - 6ish - hopefully find time to play with girls and pump.

5:45 - prepare for 6pm feed.

6pm - Ben walks in to save the day! Feed girls

7ish- 8:45 - play; pump; eat something

8:45pm - prepare for feed

9pm - Feed girls

10pm - Ben to bed; girls to bed;

10ish-11:45pm - Mommy pumps; pretends to do paperwork, but too tired and usually just surfs web; tries to post, but finds it hard to be clever since I'm too tired.

11:45pm - Print girls' schedule (feeds, meds, charts to record amounts taken) for next few days and Start all over.

It's amazing how quickly the two hours pass between the end of one feed and start of another. In fact - it's 11:50pm, and time to start the day...

I'm still waiting for my check...

Feeding update

Feeding continues to be a big issue. *big sigh* I keep reminding myself that it could be much worse. Our girls are so healthy and happy. There are so many children who are so much more sick and require so much more care. At least our girls have throats and stomachs. Some kids doesn't even have that. Still, when trying to feed the girls, it's hard to feel thankful.

Here's the latest...

Abby has not been progressing as hoped. She hates her NG tube. She refuses to eat well when it is in. It had become a Catch-22. She can't get rid of the tube because she isn't eating enough. But, she won't eat enough with the tube in. So, she can't get rid of the tube. You see the dilemma. So we have a new plan.

Currently, we are tubing Abby only at night. She receives a gavage only feeding at 12am, 3am, and 6am. We give her 120mls over 1 hour. If she tolerates that amount, we will increase it to 150mls. After the 6am feed, we will take out the tube and give her a bottle from 9am to 9pm. During the day she needs to average 45mls per feed. If she does this, she will get enough calories and hopefully gain more weight.

This little plan is actually a temporary fix. We have decided to go with the G-tube. If you remember, that will be inserted surgically, directly into her stomach. We will probably follow a similar schedule of oral feedings during the day and gavage at night. The benefit is that the tube will be out of her throat and we won't have to put it in and out - which is a very uncomfortable procedure for Abby and emotionally awful for us. She first has to get a gastric emptying study (looks at how the stomach empties) so she can then be scheduled with the surgeon. We have no idea how long that will be. Hopefully only a week or two more. There is a chance she will improve considerably on the new off days/on nights schedule and we won't have to do it at all. We can only hope.

Now, for Natalie. I had thought Natalie was doing quite well, but when I looked at the data in my nifty little charts, I realized she was falling short about 150mls per day. That's quite a lot. When a pediatrician appointment Tuesday revealed she's only gained a few ounces, we decided to tube her at night as well. We just hated doing it. So did she. I was so worried we'd have to consider a g-tube for her as well. It felt so awful going backwards.

The good news is the doctor today at the Duke Clinic was okay with her weight gain. He said we did not need to tube her at all. Instead, we are adding more Elecare to the breast milk to make it more caloric. Since she's getting more bang for her buck, she can eat less. She still needs to average about 50ml per feed. She should be able to do this. (Abby is also getting the souped up breast milk.) We are hopeful this will keep Natalie heading in the right direction. If we don't feel we have to force her to eat so much, maybe her feedings will be more pleasant and maybe she'll eat more.

Woo - that's a lot of rather technical info about eating. Bottom line: Nat - doing okay. Abby - not as good - getting g-tube soon. Stay tuned for updates...

Gotta Love Grandma

We've been lucky to have a steady stream of grandma's visit in the last few weeks. The girls are so fortunate to have so much love in their life.

In early October, Ben's mom came to stay from Friday to Tuesday. She was great with the girls and they had a wonderful time getting so much attention. Ya-Yai also helped with cooking and cleaning and laundry. Yeah Ya-Yai! She also stayed up late with me to help with feedings. Between feeds, we bonded over cooking shows late into the night!

After Ya-Yai, Nana came for the weekend. It was a wonderful relief since I was having serious issues with my milk (see post below). She also helped with cleaning and laundry and feeding. My mom is also a former infant child developmental specialist. That's a long title for "person who knows lots of stuff about infants and what they should be doing when". Well, maybe that's the short way:-) Nana was very helpful in showing us exercises to work on with the girls and evaluating how they are doing developmentally. It was the first weekend Nana had been able to come in a while and she had a great time. The girls were once again thrilled with all the attention.

Finally, last weekend, Nanny was here for a visit. (Poppy was here too, but we are talking grandma's right now:-)) It had been several weeks since they'd seen the girls and were of course surprised at how big they are now. Nanny is amazing at feeding the girls. I don't know what she does, but the girls eat so well for her. There are several houses for sale in our community...I've been trying to get them to buy one and move in! Of course, the girls were once again entertained, held, and loved all over.

The girls really are lucky to have grandparents so close that they can visit so often. The fact that we could be in Maui right now, is never lost on me. Although paradise would have been amazing, we would have desperately missed our extended family. When I see the grandparents with the girls I am so grateful we are here and the girls will grow up knowing their grandparents. I can only hope they have as close a relationship as I have with my amazing grandmother.

Look Ma - no hands!!

First of all - let's all take a moment and be thankful I didn't post MY picture wearing this contraption.

So - what is that thing, you ask. Well, it's my new time-saving toy. It's a hands-free breast pumping bra. It's wraps around (gotta love Velcro) and the sucker cups go through these littles holes and... Well, you get the picture. It really does work. I can do things with my hands - such as type - as I am right now. Actually, using pump time to blog was part of the reason I bought it. That and trying to not develop carpel tunnel syndrome. I can also play with the babies in a limited way if I need to - at least enough to comfort them.

While on the subject...remember the freezers full of breast milk? ALL GONE. There are two little bags left in my freezer that I'm saving for an emergency. Last week was awful. I've always had a ton of milk, and suddenly, it seemed to disappear. I was freaking out. Not only did I feel guilty for not having pumped more in the weeks before, I was imaging the $500 a month we'd have to spend in formula. It was awful.

Fortunately my mom was here two weekends ago and while she and Ben concentrated on feeding the girls, I pumped all the time. That wasn't much fun either. But it was more fun than running out of milk. The good news is it seemed to do the trick. Things are better now. The children won't starve. This is very good.

What were they thinking...

This is totally unrelated to anything baby but I just couldn't resist. I saw an advertisement for this show...

"The Most Smartest Model"

Seriously. I'm not kidding. I'm not sure if this is irony or what. The goal is for the models, stereotypically not the brightest bunch, to convince the host they are the "most smartest". Who thinks of these things?

So, for those confused as to why I find this hysterical...an English lesson.

One can not be the "most smartest" anything. One is either the "most smart" or the "smartest". To be the "most smartest" is redundant - and terrible grammar. Perhaps the first challenge of the show is for the contestants to figure out the title of the show is grammatically incorrect!

Perhaps the show should be called, "the most smartest copy-editor, producer, or tv executive"!

Schedule/Smedule

So, we've been messing with "the schedule" to try to find what works best for the girls - and for us. There's a fine line between their needs and our sanity. In the end - we all have to survive.

Basically, the girls needs are to consume enough ml of milk each day to gain weight and grow. Abby is supposed to get at least 600ml and Natalie about 480ml.

Our needs include sleep and maintaining our emotional stability. The concern for the later comes from the frustration we experience over their feeding issues. It's just so hard to struggle with them to eat. We worry about them eating enough or not eating at all. We also worry about them spending too many calories while they are eating since it takes so long for them to eat by mouth. It's a balancing act between calorie intake and calorie expenditure. One of our biggest worries is over Abby, her tube and its pros and cons. Obviously, it's good because we can make sure she gets the amount of food she needs. But, it is also really easy for us to be lazy. It much easy to hook her up than struggle with her to eat for half and hour. Plus, I'm not so sure it doesn't make her lazy. Maybe she can figure out that she gets full whether she eats or not. Our biggest concern is whether the tube contributes to her not eating orally. In other words, does the irritation of it make it more uncomfortable to eat therefore reinforcing the oral aversion. The more we have to feed them, the more frustrated we feel.

So...we are trying to work a schedule that allows fewer feedings during the night (sleep) and maybe fewer feeds (7 per day). We are trying to push the night feeding to 4 hours. So, we would feed at 2am so I'm asleep by 3, and then Ben would feed at 6am and could then go to work at a decent hour (instead of 10:30am). I would feed them again somewhere between 9 and 10am.

After all this scheduling, I can understand why people pay my sister the big bucks to do this for them. Maybe I can get a discount:-)

Girl's first colds

Poor little babies. It's really tough being sick when you can't blow your nose. Little Abby developed her first cold starting Monday. She stopped eating by mouth on Tuesday so we had to put the tube back in (see previous post). Natalie started showing signs early Friday morning. She actually even ran a small fever yesterday - just about 99 degrees. I called the nurse line but apparently they don't even consider a fever a fever until it's 102. I really wasn't worried, but since she's a preemie I figured better safe than sorry.

We have saline drops to loosen the mucus and the "buger bulb" to suck it out. The girls hate that. I can't blame them. I wouldn't want someone sucking stuff out of my nose. The cold is worse on Abby since she already has a tube taking up half of one nostril.

The biggest result of their colds is that neither is eating very well. With Abby, of course, we can just feed her the rest in her tube. With Natalie, we just have to hope she's eating enough to maintain through this cold and that her intake will increase once she's better.

The other result - Mommy thinks she's caught Abby's cold. I also started getting a sore throat on Friday. I've felt pretty well today, but tomorrow may start the stuffy phase. I really hope not. The thing is I can't figure out where the girls caught this cold. No one has been sick around the girls except for allergy symptoms. Maybe I picked something up at all those doctor's appointments...

A Poo on Pooh

Abby is up to her old tricks. After spitting up on her 2nd outfit of the day, I was dressing Abby in a cute little Pooh outfit. Ben likes Pooh, so it was for his benefit. Since she has a little cold, I checked her temperature just to keep up with it. In case you didn't know, sticking things in a little kids bottom is often conducive to pooping. So, there was pooping. Thinking she was done, I proceeded to put on the new outfit and diaper. Ben happened to walk in just about then. Suddenly, with her butt up in the air, Abby let one rip - right onto Mommy's hand and her little Pooh outfit. Daddy laughed and laughed and laughed. Abby hadn't pooed Mommy since her blowout in the NICU where she projectile pooped to the end of her isolette. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, as soon as I removed the diaper, she peed all over everything. So, Mommy pulled out the THIRD outfit of the day, and another diaper.

In the words of Pooh,

Oh bother.

When plans fail...

Well, our little tube-less experiment didn't work out so well for Abigail. We went to the pediatrician today for a weight check and she had actually lost weight since Friday. (Natalie had gained two ounces and is now 7lb 1 oz).

Poor little Abby did great for the first three days. She started petering out early this morning. In fact, she completely refused her 9am and 12pm feedings. We left at 3 for the doctor and didn't return until almost 6pm. So, she didn't eat anything for nearly 12 hours. She's also having a pooping problem. The girls that used to poop everywhere each time you changed them are now constipated - and somewhat grumpy. At least Abby is. She hasn't had a decent poop since 12am Sunday morning. I think she's been very uncomfortable and that's why she's not eating. I wouldn't want to eat either if my insides were all full.

So, as soon as we got home, I put her feeding tube back in. It was so sad. She sneezed and shook her head. Her poor little eyes watered. I felt awful. But, she needed to eat, so I set up her feed and she went right to sleep. I want to get her strong again and then we will try again.

It is so frustrating when the girls don't eat. It's by far the worst and most emotionally and physically taxing element of having twins. Honestly, if they ate normally, having twins wouldn't be that hard (so far). I think the hardest thing is not having any control over whether or not they eat and how much. That old proverb about the horse and water takes on new meaning. You really can't make them eat. It's a very helpless feeling. At times it seems like Abby will never get it. I try to remember that Natalie has just been home longer and Abby will get it too. Sometimes, though, it's really hard not to get discouraged.

Come and get it!!!

No - it's not a chow line, but the long awaited for pictures!!! I've just spent hours into the wee morning picking, labeling, and posting pictures for your enjoyment. Click on the link "pictures and videos" and enjoy.

Here She Comes to Save the Day!!

Auntie Kimberly arrived early Saturday afternoon to take control and let us sleep. As an infant/twin specialist, she has lots of tricks and lots of experience.

Her first goal was to get them eating.

Step One: Lose the feeding tube. Natalie has had hers out since her appointment on Tuesday. She has been taking all her feeds orally since then. Natalie, as a big sister should, helped Abigail out by pulling out her tube during a nap. So the tube came out yesterday and has been out since.

Step Two: Choose the right nipple. Kimberly made a trip to Babies R Us and bought $60 worth of bottles and nipples. To that Ben and I both responded with "what!". Hopefully, we'll be taking some of those back. She chose some with shorter nipples with the idea that the longer ones were reaching back to their throats and irritating them or making them gag. It's phenomenal how many different kinds of nipples and bottles there are. Poor breast feed babies only have one choice! Honestly, though, I'd rather the girls just have one choice. Maybe after we get this eating thing down and they are continuing to grow well, we'll try breastfeeding again. However, I digress... back to the nipples.

Step Three: Feed, feed, feed. Now that there are three of us, we can feed both at the same time, which saves a lot of time. Our first attempt was great. They both took their full bottles in about 30 minutes. Since then, we've had varied success trying a variety of nipples and combinations. As always, the first 40ml or so, goes great, then the rest is a struggle.

Current assessment: It's going fairly well. Abby actually seems to be doing better than Natalie overall. She really likes the shorter nipples. We've had a harder time finding the perfect nipple for Natalie.

Prognosis: Looking pretty good. The girls may not be taking all of every feed, but sometimes they are taking more than necessary (especially Natalie). Overall, they are doing quite well. I'm hoping to continue to make progress and go into our appointment on Thursday completely tube-free!

Kimberly also saved us by doing all the 3am and 6 am feeds. Ben slept from 12am to 9am. I slept from 1am to nearly 12pm. Ahhh, pure bliss. Thanks Sister. We sure so love you:-)

Pregnant Women and Babies...

Why does everyone want to touch them?? I never actually had perfect strangers try to touch my stomach when I was pregnant. It was probably because I didn't really start to show until just before the girls were born. I've heard many pregnant women complain of this though. I did have my first stranger reach out of touch my baby.

Natalie and I were at the eye doctor last Wednesday. There we were sitting quietly on the adult side of the office (avoiding the kids on the kids side). Natalie was happy in her car seat and I was filling out paperwork. Along came a little old woman. Well, she wasn't that little, nor that old, but it sounds better. She marched right up to the car seat, ogled the baby, and reached right out and touched her hand. WHY do people do this? I know they are cute and cuddly, and I've been tempted before myself, but I know better. Maybe next time I'll reach out and stroke their face or tummy or rub their head? Hmmmm.

Actually, I have these little signs (courtesy of my sister) that hang from the car seat or stroller. They say "Please wash your hands before touching mine". I did have it on the car seat, but the handle was back and it wasn't visible. So, my next line of defense is little signs I've made and laminated. They read, "Preemie Baby - I have a low immune system, please keep your hands from mine". There's a little smiling face to make it nicer. Ben thinks I need to make a visual sign with hands touching a baby and a line through it - like a no smoking sign. He thinks people won't bother to read my sign. Of course, I've seen people stand right in front of no smoking signs and smoke, so, hey, what can you do? I have taken to keeping a blanket covering the car seat so the babies are hidden. It would take a bold soul to walk over and actually lift up a blanket to see a baby. I'll let you all know when it happens:-)

If wishes were nickels...

I'd hire someone to get up at 5am to feed the girls!!! That 5am feed is a killer. I'm okay until the 2am - since I'm a night owl anyway, but then I am more than ready for bed. The 5am is supposed to be Ben's shift, but sometimes it's just too much. He has to go to bed by 10ish pm to feel good enough to do it, so sometimes, I pitch in. I can't blame him. It's just awful. Who said babies need to eat every 3 hours anyways?? They don't seem to mind. They sleep right on through. As a matter of fact, our schedule was off Saturday and Sunday because feeds took longer than usual. I was trying to get back on schedule and was supposed to get up at 3am Sunday morning so they could eat at 5:30am, and then back on schedule at 8am. Somehow, my alarm didn't go off. Next thing I knew, Ben was waking me at 5am asking me if the girls needed feeding. They never even noticed.

All in all things are still good. We have the most ridiculous schedule of doctor appointments. It seems we are there every other day. It's rather ironic, actually. The whole idea of preemies is to keep them away from everyone. So, we have appointments in hospitals and doctor's offices surrounded by who knows what. To make it worse, it's the Children's Hospital and Pediatrician, so we're surrounded by little kids and all their germs. I'm not sure it's a very good system.

Keeping the girls well, notwithstanding, we are happy to receive visitors: well, not sick hand-washing visitors:-) If you are sick, were just sick, or in the close vicinity of someone who is sick, please come another day. You definately want to call first though. See above rant on doctors' appointments.

I know I've promised pictures. It just takes time to pick them and post them and time is a little short right now. I will get to it - I promise...

Hail, Hail the Gang's all Here!!!

Finally, finally, after months and months, our two beautiful girls are both home and our family is complete! Poppy and Nanny arrived Thursday and were amazing helping out this weekend. One would think that more people would allow time for more blogging - not so much. I'm very behind, so sit back for an update!

Abby's Homecoming!

After 137 days, Abby came home Friday afternoon about 3:00pm weighing a 8 lbs 2 oz! Checking her out was very fast. Since we had already done all our training at DRH, there was little to do but take her home. We finally met Dr. Malcolm, who is just wonderful. I'm excited about seeing him again in Clinic with the girls.

Our homecoming was smaller for Abby than Natalie. Poor Abby - already victim to second child syndrome. Poppy and Nanny were here and I did make an effort to take lots of pictures. Our first victory once home was Nanny feeding Abby a bottle and having her take 67ml of 75ml!!!! That's more than she's EVER taken at one time. Ben laughingly suggested we should call Dr. Malcolm and tell him. A little later, the more I thought about it, the better I like the idea. So, in a silly mommy moment, I did:-) She did really well for the first day or so, but the last few feeds has only taken 30ish. But, that's better than at the hospital so at least we are making progress. She's up to 75mls a day!

The girls were absolutely precious together. It's so wonderful having them together. They are so beautiful lying next to each other in their crib. So far, they seem to rest well together. We have had a great time playing on the floor with them, snuggling, and being a family.

The girls seem to be enjoying life as well. Of course, Poppy and Nanny were here through Sunday. Grandpa and Ya-Yai came over Saturday afternoon as well. Needless to say, they have been well pampered, held and loved.

As of Friday afternoon, Natalie weighed in at 6 lbs 10oz. She hasn't gained as quickly as in the hospital, but then again, she's doing more now. It doesn't take much energy to stare at the ceiling and sleep. Last week the doctor had us add Elecare to Natalie's milk for extra calories. Hopefully she will put on weight faster. She also seems to have gotten the hang of the bottle! She has been tube free for about 2 days and taking all her feeds by mouth! Occasionally, she doesn't take a full feed, but we are trying to give her 60mls each time to make up for what she missed.

So - the short of it is - everything is going quite well. Ben will be home Monday and drop us off at the doctors at Duke Tuesday morning. He'll work half a day (since that's how long we'll be at the doctor!), and pick us up when we are done. He'll work from home the rest of the day. I'm not sure about the rest of the week. I might be on my own!! I'm kind-of looking forward to it though. Me and my girls:-)

I'll try to do better posting. I also have tons of pictures that need to go up. I know I said I would do it a few says ago, but hey, I have two babies! Gimmie a break:-)

pictures soon

I know we are behind on pictures. I've been labeling the 300 pictures it seems we took between rooming in and Natalie coming home and that takes a while.

I can't wait to post Nat's coming home pics, so look for them soon!

I posted one here just as a taste:-)

5 days out and doing great...

Natalie has now been home 5 days and everything is going quite well. It is so wonderful having her home. She really is a very good baby. She sleeps well and is only rarely fussy. We have established a good schedule that seems to work for us. I stay up and do the 11pm and 2am feed. I'm a night owl so I'm up anyway. Ben goes to bed between 9 and 10pm and sleeps until 4:30ish. He then does the 5am and 8am feeding. When he goes back to work, he will feed her, put her back to sleep and go to work. If she stays asleep for a while, I can potentially sleep from 2:45ish to 10ish.

Speaking of eating - since I know everyone is dying to know...

It's so hard being right all the time:-) Natalie has done amazingly well - just like I knew she would. She has taken several full bottles and lots of 40ml bottles. She is taking anywhere from half to two-third of her total feeds through her bottle. I am also starting to give her meds orally and avoid the tube as much as possible. For some reason, I have better luck with her than Ben. He seems to be doing the same thing so I'm not sure why. She is doing so well and we are so proud of her.

Now - on the Abby. I was very distressed Sunday when I talked to the nurse practitioner covering Abby on the weekend. I could tell she was another of those not thrilled with the girls going home on gavage. She also made it sound like Abby would be there until she learned to feed. I was pretty adamant that we were not interested in having that happen. I told her I wanted to meet with the doctors the next day for a pow-wow.

On the bright side, she revealed that all the tests so far have been fine. The ENT saw her Friday and everything looked fine with her throat and vocal cords. The gastro emptying test looked good too. In order words, her stomach is emptying well. The swallow test from last week did show some aspiration into her esophagus as she swallows, but there is nothing they can do for it. She just has to outgrow it. The only thing left is a MRI to reveal any possible neurological damage - which is rather unlikely.

So, one may ask - what's next. If it's not broken and they can't fix it, what's the problem? Personally, I think being in the hospital too long is the problem. I spoke with Dr. Malcolm today by phone and was quite pleased. He is the reflux specialist doctor that Dr. Izatt at DRH kept consulting. We will see him in two weeks with Natalie (and with Abby) so it was good to finally speak with him. I thought I was going to have to get tough like I finally had to do with the girls coming home in the first place, but Dr. Malcolm was wonderful. He had actually been one in favor of them going home with ng tubes and follow-up. He more or less said that if the MRI looked good, she should be able to come home. Although it didn't seem necessary, it was great to report how well Natalie to show that the home system is working.

Bottom line: Natalie is doing great and I really think Abby will be home by the weekend. We just have to hold on a few more days for Abby.

Abby News

Yesterday we received the news that we wouldn't be able to bring Abby home with us today. We weren't too upset since the doctor said it would be Friday or Saturday. Today, as we met with the doctor (a different one on call today), she indicated it could be another week for Abby.

They want to send Abby back to Duke (which is perfectly fine with us). They want to do a few more tests:
* MRI to look for any neurological issues that would cause her not to be able to feed - this is really pretty unlikely. It seems to me that if it were neurological, then she would be consistently unable to eat instead of sometimes do really well and sometimes not. But, there's no harm in looking.

*Stomach emptying test - watching to see how the stomach empties when she eats. The theory is that it empties slowly thus making her feel full and deciding to stop eating. I personally think this is the most likely problem.

* ENT assessment to check her vocal cords. Apparently, if they aren't moving correctly it can cause problems. This could be a possibility.

Additionally, at Duke, they will have one speech therapist to work with her several times a day. It would be more intensive and probably help her to have a consistent person doing the feeds.

It was just awful leaving Abby there today. Especially now since we don't know when she will be home. It was easy to tell that today's doctor really didn't think much of us taking Natalie home either. She seemed really convinced that we couldn't handle it. Frankly, one baby is no big deal. I think she thinks the pump thing is really complicated and hard, but it's not. It's really not much harder than having to prepare a bottle to feed her every 3 hours. I made out charts and colored coded all her meds so now it's about just following the schedule and doing a little prep work every morning for the whole day.

I guess we'll see the doctors again tomorrow when we visit Abby. Maybe then we will know more about when she might move (as always it's about finding a bed) and what the time table is. Till then, we'll just enjoy Natalie and look forward to Abby's homecoming as well.

And Baby Makes Three...

We have a baby. After 128 days, we arrived with little Natalie this afternoon about 5pm. Grandpa and Ya-Yai were waiting for us. Poppy and Nanny had been at the hospital with us all day and were following behind. Nana arrived about an hour later. Jeff and Reagan also arrived later in the evening. It was wonderful having everyone there. We had all the grandparents, except my mema, who is still at home recovering from her fall and broken tail bone.

Everything went really well this evening. We both have so much confidence taking care of her - especially after rooming-in at the hospital. We had to feed her at 6, soon after we were home. After that, Natalie was able to entertain everyone in the living room being held and hanging out in her bouncy chair. Mommy was actually in the office most of the evening making charts and fixing tags for medicine. Mommy is in prime chart making mode. Sometimes a little OCD comes in handy!!!

Everyone but my mom left about 8:30. Poor Ben went to bed - he was exhausted. I have the first night shift. It works for me since I'm a night owl any way, and frankly, too excited to sleep. My mom held Natalie while her milk went in and I pumped. She left for a nearby hotel shortly thereafter. I settled in to the rocker to hold and rock my little girl. I am a Mommy. I am a Mommy. No matter how much I say it - it seems unreal. Sometimes I think I'm just babysitting. I've decided my mantra as a parents (at least one of them), is to live in and enjoy the moment. A cross stitch mural hung on the wall in the kitchen of our many homes when I was a child. I memorized it long ago (and thought I was quite clever, by the way:-)) It read:
"Cleaning and Scrubbing can wait til tomorrow
for babies grow up
we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
and babies don't keep"

Even as they have been in the hospital, I've reminded myself of this little poem. Sometimes, I'd look around and think of all the things I needed to do and thought I should do them instead of go to the hospital to see the girls. Then I'd remember - "cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow - for babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow". Off to the hospital I would go.

Tonight, I thought of all things I needed to do: all the stuff from the hospital to put away; bottles to prepare; medicines to prepare. Then I remembered - "babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow." So, I settled into the rocking chair, turned on the lullaby CD, and rocked my baby - 'cause babies don't keep.

Tuesday - Rooming In - 10pm

So - 48 hours and counting. Mommy has been here forever. I has a little break this evening for about 3 hours. I went with my mom to dinner, to Walmart quickly and home to grab a few things. So that means Daddy took care of the girls all by himself from about 6:30-9:30PM. HE DID GREAT!!! Now he's superdaddy!

We added Abby to the room last night. The monitor people FINALLY showed up about 9:30 to show us how to use them. We also received our milk pumping system yesterday afternoon. It's pretty easy to use. We'll have our own hospital at home!

The girls are so good. They aren't crying babies at all. They get a little fussy and uncomfortable at times, but sleep quite well. We have to wake them up every 3 hours to eat. They didn't wake me up at all last night, so I actually got some sleep. By some, I mean between 12 and 12pm, I had about 6 hours of sleep. Not too bad. Ben will be here tonight so maybe by splitting the work we will get more sleep. Or maybe since someone has to sleep in the recliner chair - no one will get any sleep!

We had a little bad news today. Because of a brady and a lips-turning-blue episode, they have decided to keep Abby a few more days. We will still get take Natalie home tomorrow (Wednesday). We are a little sad to leave Abby at the hospital. We had picked out the cutest coordinating outfits for them to wear home. *sigh* But, it will only be a few more days. She'll probably come home Friday or Saturday. It will also give us a chance to settle into a routine with Natalie and then plug Abby into it when she comes home.

We've had moderate success giving bottles today. I just don't understand why they won't eat. Honestly, neither do the doctors. I really hope they will get it once they come home.

When I dropped by the house this evening, I went into their room. I can really imagine our little girls lying in their crib. Everything is ready for them. We are so excited to have finally arrived at this moment.

Tomorrow will likely be an impatient waiting game. It will be at least 2ish before we leave. Of course, it may take that long to pack up all the stuff in our room!!

Now for the night shift...nite-nite

Start at the bottom and read up...

The problem with the way these post is that they appear last one first. So, if you are reading this before the last post - you are out of order. I'll be posting updates from the hospital so to follow along scroll down and start at Rooming In - Day one.


Okay - now - Rooming In - Monday - 2:30pm

Well, I finally got a baby! Natalie arrived in the room about 1:15am. We had a very good night and mommy even got some sleep. I actually feel pretty good. It's been rather uneventful - a few feeds - a few poppy diapers. Both girls went down for a Swallow test to see where and how the milk is going when they suck it in. Both have what they call "aspiration". Basically, the bronchial tube (leads to lungs) and the esophagus (leads to stomach) run side by side. We know this when our food "goes down the wrong way". We choke and sputter. The bronchial tube has some kind of little valve that stops the milk from going through to the lungs. Sometimes the milk/food can get through. Abby is having that happen a little. Both are showing that the milk is starting down the wrong tube, then jumping back up and down the right tube. To prevent this, we are thickening the milk a little more.

They tired for a third time cath Natalie to do the VCUG. Tried and failed - again. So amoxicilian for Natalie for a while.

We have a little bad news. It turns out we can't go home until Wednesday. We'd had a significant monitor issue. I don't know who to be madder at - the moronic company that can't do anything right, or our insurance company who requires we use them. Both, I guess. So, because the supply guy simply dropped off the monitors with no instruction, we can't hook the girls up to them. Until they come to teach us, which they were supposed to do almost 3 hours ago, we can't have both girls in the room. The doctor wants us to have both girls for two full nights. Alas, we go home Wednesday. I'm actually okay with it really. At least I'm here with them and taking care of them. It's actually rather cozy. I have a bed, comfy chair, and a rocking chair. There's a half bath with a sink that is finally fixed - after we had to leave the room because of the strong smells of the stuff they were using to clean it. It finally took a machine snakey thing. There's a shower down the hall. I also have a tv, internet, and now a cooler of ice with water. They bring me food and take the dishes away too. I could live here forever!!

Night One Rooming-In - 11pm

So - here I am...in a comfy hospital room with a bed that inflates and deflates of it's own accord and a sink that is stopped up. The bed has something to do with adjusting to pressure points and preventing bed sores. The only way to prevent it to unplug the bed. The engineer man is currently in my little bathroom trying to unclog a very stubborn sink.

Ben and I arrived around 5:30pm. We were very excited to take possession (at least partially) of our girls and start being parents. That was 5 hours ago. So far - no babies. I'm not quite sure why. They had to eat at 6pm so we feed them their bottles. Natalie did quite well taking all but 2ml. Abby took 29ml. So after the feeds was the change of shift. The nurse who took over wanted to asses them first of course. But before that could happen, she was changing another baby who projectile pooped on EVERYTHING - blankets, bed and wall. Yes, wall. So, she spent a while cleaning that up. By that time it was nearly time to eat again. I'm not sure to where the 3 hours disappeared, but away they went. The girls had some residuals (leftover milk in tummy) so they had to wait a little longer to eat. Nat was still being feed at 10:15. So, the nurse decided she would check their vitals a little earlier than the 12am normal time and whisk her down then. So, maybe by 12am, I might have a baby - who is supposed to eat again then.

(The plumber guy just left - even after two bottle of extra- strength something that turns the whole pipe hot to the touch with its acid AND actual plunging - he can't fix the sink. So - sink full of horrible acid stuff and I guess I'll have to brush my teeth in the toilet.)

Speaking of babies - I'll actually only have Natalie tonight. There's only one monitor set up in this room. This actually confuses me a great deal. I mean, don't they ever have other twins?? It seems like it's taken a great deal of discussion to figure out how to have two babies in this room. It just seems strange to me that we are the first people ever to do this. Anyway - one monitor - one baby. Tomorrow they are hoping to get a portable monitor for Abby. The home health agency did deliver our monitors and I brought them. Unfortunately, the guy didn't show us how to use them and no one here knows. They are also supposed to arrive tomorrow to show us how they work.

All in all the evening is off to a slow start. Poor Ben actually finally went home. He has to work tomorrow and there's only one bed anyway. And since we didn't have a baby to practice anything on... He'll be by tomorrow and maybe stay tomorrow night with me. Or maybe he will sleep at home to be well rested to pull the first overnight shift at home.

It's nearly 11:30pm - the appointed time for me to return to the nursery and hopefully pick up my child. I'll keep you posted...

4 months old!

Wow - can you believe it? The girls were four months old yesterday (Saturday). They've been in the NICU or Special Care for 123 days. They weight 6lb 3.8oz and 7lb 6.1oz. They've really come a long way.

Also yesterday, during a visit with Grandpa and Ya-Yai, they both showed off by doing VERY well with their bottles. Natalie took all but 6ml of her feed. Abby took a while to get going, but finally took 51ml of her 65ml. They had actually stalled out again, so this was a nice surprise.

We've been taking care of all sorts of little details before rooming-in begins and the girls come home. Cleaning, sorting, final nursery prep, washing clothes, bottles, and everything else. My mom arrived today and is helping us - thanks mom! She's so awesome at motivating and cleaning. I've also been cleaning up the office (well, I'm IN the office so that sort-of counts:-) and checking on the bills for the next few weeks since I figure I'll be otherwise occupied. I figure any kind of cleaning/organizing/projects that aren't done by this afternoon aren't likely to happen.

About 5ish this afternoon (after the Panthers game) we will head to the hospital to begin the rooming-in process. I am so excited. I have already been shown how to place the ng tube (although I haven't actually done it yet), check for placement, and push their meds. We'll probably switch to oral meds when we go home. We have our own stethoscopes which is very cool. I've always wanted one. The monitors have arrived and we will take them to the hospital with us. The milk pumps, which we hopefully will not need much, will arrive tomorrow.

It's such a strange feeing to think that we will finally have babies in two more days. It seems very unreal. We are excited and nervous at the same time. We are also a little sad in some ways. It's been Johelen and Ben for 8 years, and now that era is over. We were very aware of our last Friday night alone together and our last dinner out alone for a while on Saturday. We have loved so much being together and being wifee and husbandy. It's a little sad for us that it's coming to and end in a way. We know it's not completely over, but it will be different. It's not to say we aren't thrilled about our new roles of Mommy and Daddy, but we never want to forget who we were and what it means for us to be together and happy. We have had an amazing marriage so far and been able to focus only on each other. Our Promise to each other is not to forget the other as we shift our focus to Natalie and Abigail.

I may have a computer in the hospital so I can update. Otherwise, I will check in Tuesday evening with our first report post-hospital.

Showers of Blessing

I wanted to take a moment to thank all the people who have been so generous in showering the girls with so many beautiful gifts. We have actually been blessed to have 3 showers.

The first shower, back in June, was at the beach with my family was not only a surprise but great fun. If you need any ideas for shower games in the future (that are cool and not stupid), give me a call. My cousin, Amye, had the best ideas. Amye also brought the most beautiful cake I'd ever seen. I've save the top for the girls first birthday cake. It was so much fun to celebrate with family, and we were very touched.

The second party was hosted a few weeks ago by the Ladies Tuesday morning Bible Study at our church, HillSong. I had been babysitting for the kids of the group each Tuesday morning since the fall. These godly women were instrumental in Ben and I deciding to return to HillSong, the church I found when I first moved to Chapel Hill and the church in which we were married. After seeing these women every week and experiencing their love and friendship, we were reminded of the incredible people we loved at HillSong and decided to return. These ladies have been praying for the girls since the beginning. Several of them visited me while in the hospital after their birth and have been to visit the girls. Their kindness has been inspirational, and we are so grateful.

Finally, this past Sunday, my father's church, Leaksville UCC, hosted a beautiful gathering in honor of the girls and Grandparents Day. Everyone contributed to the delicious potluck lunch and it seemed, to the piles and piles of gifts. It was amazing. In a way, I'm so glad the girls weren't home yet so I could go and experience the kindness and thoughtfulness of so many. It was humbling. From the banners and balloons to the adorable "cake" made of diapers, receiving blankets and topped with a stuffed lamb, the afternoon was wonderful. It was a joy to be around people who have treated my dad and Peggy so well and who have welcomed me into their church as if I were one of their own. Thank you so much for opening your hearts to us.

In addition to the shower gifts, we have received presents from friends and family and even people we've never met. One of Grandpa's colleagues made beautiful blankets for the girls. Poppy's colleagues also sent a gift of money. People have been so kind and generous, and it has all been so appreciated. As the girls grow, we will tell them of all the people who prayed for them and treated them with such kindness and thoughtfulness. With grateful hearts, we thank you all.

The Final Countdown

The news continues to be that the girls are homeward bound. The latest word is Tuesday. We would start the rooming-in Sunday evening and go home sometime Tuesday - hopefully in the morning.

Just a quick Mommy and Daddy update:
Ben's 33rd birthday was Saturday and to celebrate and in honor of the girls, we attended a March of Dimes walk/run. We found out about it through Aunt Reagan, athlete extrordinarie and runner of marathons and triathlons, who had signed up to run the 5K in honor of the girls. After her main event (where she placed 2nd in her age group), Reagan, Uncle Jeff, Ben and I walked the 1 mile. In case you didn't know, the March of Dimes is responsible for a great deal of funding and research for preemies. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Saturday evening, Mommy left for Luray, VA to my dad's place. His church (he's a minister, FYI) was having a shower for the girls on Sunday, which happened to coincide with Grandparents Day. A tangent here, if you please: as much as Hallmark, etc. completely commercializes every holiday, somehow Grandparents Day has been completely overlooked. If the shower hadn't been on that day, I would have completely missed it. I actually feel quite bad about it since it was everyone's first one. I promise to be more on the ball from now on. Grandparents: you can look forward to cheesy art work stamped with little hands and feet, Popsicle stick napkin holders and an array of mugs, calendars, mouse pads, and t-shirts all plastered with grinning baby faces. End of Tangent...

After the shower Sunday, I headed to my mom's to visit my grandmother in the hospital. She fell about two weeks ago and broke her tailbone, which if you've ever injured it, you know it is extremely painful. I figured it would be my last chance for a while. It was a great visit and Mema will be home this week.

The days since have been spent preparing for the girls. Realizing that we STILL lacked enough storage in their room, an additional shelving unit was purchased. I'm currently in the middle of putting up all the great gifts from my recent two showers and weeding out the preemie clothes my giant children can no longer wear. There's still a long list of to-do stuff and the countdown as begun.

Just a note: I've been asked so I thought I'd mention that I intend to continue this blog and the picture site (which I know is delinquent) even after the girls come home. I enjoy it and I know now so many of you are addicted to it like your morning cup of coffee, therefore I hate to disappoint. I can't promise daily entries, after all I will have two babies, but I will update. Be aware that you may begin to find sleep-deprived rambling, incoherent babbles or blatent calls for help. For instance, if you check the blog and find: "3 am, babi no slep plse heeelp" - you may want to drop by and make sure I'm still here.

:-)