Mema

This morning, at 3am, Mema passed away. I had spent about an hour before holding her hand and singing to her. I was actually on the other side of the bed next to her when she took her final breath.

My mom, her brother and I were able to sit with her for the next 2 hours or so while hospice and the funeral home arrived.

We are thinking that the funeral will be Monday. Thanks to all who have sent their prayers and kind thoughts.

Here and Back Again

Sorry I haven't blogged much lately. It's been pretty busy - mostly with a lot of driving. The girls and I went home last Friday to see Daddy. We had a great time, went to church, and went house hunting - again. We returned Monday night.

Tuesday, we decided to make an offer on one the houses we saw. This is a pretty big deal for us since we have been looking for about 5 months. Once we decided, I got all freaked out about everything we needed to finish to put our house on the market, and decided to go home Wednesday night. I spent Thursday packing and scrubbing paint and caulk off the bathroom floor while the girls took a bath in the tub. When they took their nap, I scrubbed the tub til my wrists hurt. Thursday afternoon, I met Grandpa after work and he took the kids to their house - where they could stay until Monday or Tuesday! Thursday night, we made our offer! I also had a wonderful and long conversation with my mema. I sang to her: Amazing Grace. She had me sing it again and sang along with me as best she could. At the end, she said, "it's true, it's so true, you know?" I said, "I know Mema. Soon you will see Heaven." She said, "I already see some of it." I asked her what part she could see. "The people on the hill." I told her they were waiting for her and soon she would be with them. And I told her to save me a spot.

Friday, I spent the day working in the cold, wet yard and packing up everything else I could think of. Then, I received a series of phone calls from my mom who indicated that my mema's condition had worsened. She was in a lot of pain and they had to render her basically unconscious with codine and morphine. I gave Grandpa and Ya-Ya a call and asked if they could bring the girls back Saturday so I could leave with them in the early afternoon. Of course, they agreed.

Around 6:30, mom called again. Mema's breathing was labored; only 5-6 breaths a minute. She and Wayne thought it could be tonight or tomorrow. So, I got back into the car and drove back another 5 hours arriving here shortly before midnight. Ben left at the same time to get the girls and will leave in the morning to join us. I'm hoping she will make it so the girls can say good-bye.

So, I sit here now, beside her bed, acutely understanding the term "sitting vigil". Her breathing is better, but she is completely unconscious. I know she may never wake up. Even so, it was imperative to me that I be here with her. Before I left, I had my mom hold the phone up to her ear. I told Mema I was on my way and if she would just hold on a little bit longer, I would sing her into Heaven. I intend to do so.

She may leave us tonight - or tomorrow - or the next day. I am so thankful I can be here with her to hold her hand - and say goodbye.

Posts may be sporadic over the next few days. I will get back to regular posting and highlight some of our recent activities as soon as I can.

Natalie and Abby hanging out on Grammy's bed in Mema's room. They like to crawl on her bed, snuggle under the covers and pile all the pillows around them. They also like to pretend to read mommy and grammy's books. I've been trying to catch the girls singing, which should be easy since they do it all the time. I finally succeeded - almost - until the card ran out or the batteries died...

New Year's Goals

I thought if I didn't call them "resolutions", I'd have a better chance of keeping them.

I have long stopped making resolutions for myself.  Let's face it; there are only so many years one can say "this year I will lose weight" and still remain credible.

So, instead, I shall focus on Natalie and Abigail.  There are a few things I want for them this year.

Socialization
While the girls are excellent playmates with each other, put them with other kids and they clam up a bit.  On playgrounds, they stand still and stare at the other children.  Since our neighbors (and their 6 months older son) moved, we have have had almost zero playdates.  We did spend a lot of time with Walker and Bean, with whom the girls interacted well, but we've had little exposure to kids closer to their age. Traveling so much and being at mom's and mema's also makes playdates and making friends harder.

So, this year (once things calm down and we return home), I am going to pursue playdates and friendships for the girls.  They need to practice those wonderful playing skills they have with other children.  Also, I am very much a homebody and could easily go weeks without hanging out with anyone.  I do enjoy getting out to Walmart, etc., but I'm not the type to call a girlfriend up to shop, hang out, or even to talk. (I generally dislike talking on the phone).  Ben is even worse.  He's a classic introvert.  I'm very conscious of not letting our personalities and preferences dictate the girls' social life.

Class Participation
Along the same lines of socialization, I would like to see Natalie and Abby enrolled in Little Gym or some similar activity this spring.  We once started Little Gym, but the girls soon became ill and it seemed best not to continue.  They are older now, eating better and weigh more, so I think we need to give it a try.  We may not be able to enroll this spring semester; it depends on how long we stay here in Franklin.  However, I'm hoping there will be a summer camp they can try out.  If not, I will look for something similar so they can have a group activity to enjoy.

Sunday School and Church
We have been very, very, very bad Christian parents.  I'm afraid the girls have never been to Sunday School and to extended care only a dozen times or more.  Some of it is due to all our travel.  We are frequently gone on Sundays.  A majority, however, is due to our own laziness.  I am not a morning person.  Yes, I know Sunday School is at 10am, which is not "early" by most people's standards.  But, I can sleep until noon with no trouble at all, so 10am is early - to me.  However, that is no excuse.

We have worked on their religious education at home.  Natalie and Abby love Baby Jesus and love to read the Christmas Story.  They have learned the story very well.  They loved the little cardboard Baby Jesus we made and they love playing with the figures in the Nativity.  We have a number of Bible story books and Children's Bibles and we reads stories from them.  We have learned to sing Jesus Loves Me, and for a while we were saying our prayers at night (we need to start this again).  They also know how to fold their hands for prayer and give a resounding "amen" after, "in Jesus' name, we pray".  But, it's not enough, so this year, we are taking the girls to church.

A Pre-school type organized day
I've been flirting with the idea of homeschooling, but in preparation I have some work to do.  To start, I need to get up at a decent hour.  This is probably the hardest thing for me.  As I said, I am NOT a morning person. I am a night owl.  I was born to burn the midnight oil - and the 4am oil.  In my perfect world, I would stay up until 3ish and sleep until noon every day.  Clearly, this is not a good plan for toddlers or pre-school.  I have been most fortunate that the one thing Natalie and Abby got from me is the sleeping gene.  They usually sleep until 9am, and rarely awaken before 8:30am.  I honestly don't know what I would do if they got up at 6am every day.  But, starting at 9 does shorten the day.  Plus they often nap two or more hours, which also cuts into the day.  So, something has to change, mainly, me.

I also want to start a more organized method of instruction for them.  I'm not talking about hours spent in a desk, but at least several minutes throughout the day spent focused on sitting still and concentrating on an activity.  Right now, we are sort-of in the "teachable moment" style of education, which I fully believe in and will continue, but they need some more organized learning as well.

Clean-up and listening
Natalie and Abby are very, very good little girls.  They really are.  They are sweet, loving, kind, playful, funny, happy, energized, and delightful.  They have their moments of whining, but are generally very agreeable.  They also follow instructions pretty well most of the time.  However, clean-up time is NOT one of those times.  They can destroy a room in minutes - and are generally disinclined to help put it back together.  I need to be more consistent about insisting they help (instead of just doing it myself) and they have to learn to listen a little better.

It goes without saying that feeding and gaining weight remain, as always, a goal.  I've spent so much time in the past 2.5 years on that subject, that I am weary of it.  So, in the words of Forest Gump: that's all I have to say about that.

I guess I will throw out a few goals for Ben and I.  For the most part, they boil down to two main goals:
One: Sell our house.
Two: Buy new house.

So, if anyone wants to help us with goal one, we have a cute 3brm/2 ba home with a beautiful new kitchen and gorgeous new bamboo floors.  It has a small yard, but nicely landscaped and also has a great deck with wisteria (that provides both privacy and gorgeous flowers in the spring).  It's a great house and we'd LOVE to sell it to you!

Happy New Year to all - and I wish you all the best of luck on your New Year's Resolutions!

mil"K"

This is going to sound really silly, and it's a really minor thing.  But, Natalie is usually behind Abby in her speech development so I wanted to celebrate this little step forward.

Endings of words are one of the things we have been working on in speech.  Natalie has dropped the endings of many words for a long time.  She's done much better recently and is putting more endings on her words.  Milk is a word we have been working on for a while.  For a long time, it was just "mi".  A month or so ago (maybe longer, it's hard to keep track if I don't write it down), she (and Abby) started saying milT, with a T on the end.  Their speech therapist said this was very appropriate since the "k" sound is a sound that comes later.

Today, as we were getting ready for our bottle, Natalie said, "milk" - with a very clear K on the end.  She was sitting on the couch and clear as day said, "nanny's milk".  I was so proud! (Nanny (sometimes Natnee) is her name for herself.  This is also what Abby calls her).      

In general, their speech is coming along well.  Their vocabulary is pretty extensive.  They know the words for pretty much every common thing and most foods.  They also know a few unusual words like oxygen (mema's oxgen),  computer, and opossum (thanks to the little porch visitor last night).  Okay, maybe those aren't that unusual - except oxygen.

The biggest problem right now is how well they can be understood.  I can understand most of what they say, especially in context of where they are or what they are pointing to.  Sometimes, however, Abby will break out in a multi-syllabic multi-word sentence and I have no idea what she is saying.  Natalie's speech is not quite as developed.  She knows the words, but she drops more endings (and sometimes beginnings) and is just harder to understand.

It's really fun listening to them talk to each other.  As far as I can tell, they have not developed a twin language, which makes me a little sad.  I've always wondered what that sounded like.  I don't always understand everything they say to each other, but they seem too.  I do pick up words and phrases.  The best thing is listening to them play in their bed as they go to sleep or are supposed to be napping.  They are just too funny.  They appear to have real conversations and coordinate their play.  Abby  remains the more dominant and outspoken sister.  I've noticed she tends to tell Natalie what to do.  Yesterday, they were playing in their little tent with their babies.  At one point Natalie exited the tent.  Abby was very upset.  She said, "sit here, sit here".  She really wanted Natalie to come back inside the tent and sit down.  Natalie did go back in but sat in a different place.  Abby was still not happy.  "Sit here, sit here, sit right here".  Bossy, much?

I can see that we are going to have to help Natalie learn to stand up for herself and be assertive with Abby.  Otherwise, Abby is going to run all over her!

The girls have been in speech therapy for a while now, and are certainly doing much better.  If they were tested at this point, they probably would not qualify for services.  Although, they could possibly qualify for articulation speech therapy.  It's amazing to think that in a few months they will age out of the Early Intervention State programs.  When we started, 3 years seemed like a long time away.  We will soon make appointments for comprehensive testing to see if they qualify for an educational IEP (individual education plan)
that would allow us to enroll them in public pre-school free of charge.  I would be very surprised if they qualified for that.  Their only really issue at this time is speech.

In any case, I just had to report on Natalie's little speech achievement.  With the exception of being born and coming home first, she's doesn't usually get to be first at much, so I wanted to celebrate!  Yea Natalie!

Happy New Year!

The new year has just begun and I'm already behind on posts!  I promise to post the big Christmas post, but it includes lots of pictures, and that takes more time....But, keep checking, I promise it's coming.