Beyond Words...

As I piddle around my desk, waiting for the stroke of midnight and the chime to feed my babies, I have stumbled upon a site for a little miracle named Nicholas.

Born at 25.5 weeks, weighing only one pound, his survival is nothing short of a miracle. One of his mothers is a film maker, and she has chronicled his story in an award winning documentary.

I watched the trailer, and was mesmerized. I clicked on the link "NICU World" to read a poignant and heart-wrenching memoir of a mother who believed beyond all hope that her son would live and the perilous journey of a little boy who endured more than any little child ever should. I listened to the haunting melody of the theme song, "Can You See the Light". I watched, I read, I listened, and I was humbled.

The discovery of this site comes on the eve of another discovery of a blog of twin girls born at 24 weeks. Both girls have Cerebral Palsy, one mild, the other, moderate to severe. The child with the more severe case is also deaf. Today, while at the Duke SICC, I watched several children also waiting to be seen. One, a little boy, maybe 2 or 3 years old, suffered from some form of disability. His face showed the effect of some form of brain impairment. Another child, carried by his parents, was hooked to an apnea monitor and possibly oxygen as well. A tube protruded from his nose.

I watch these kids and read the blogs, and I don't understand. How have our girls turned out so perfectly? At 26 weeks, surprisingly, their chance at survival was 80-90%, but the manner in which they would survive was far more uncertain. So many things could go wrong, and yet, so far, they have avoided all the major complications. Do you know how rare it is for a 26 week old preemie, and twins at that, to have NO surgeries? Honestly, I don't either, but I think it's pretty unusual. Every problem Natalie and Abigail have had has resolved itself. They have met and exceeded every expectation. They are happy, good natured, pain-free, and doing all the things they are should be doing. How is this possible?

When I see and read of other children with obvious issues and then I look at Natalie and Abigail, I am humbled - and ashamed. Whatever we endure with their reluctance to eat is nothing compared to the trials and tribulations of so many others. Our girls are nearly perfect, and our lives are so easy when juxtaposed to the parents who struggle every day just to have their children survive.

Ben and I are so blessed. I don't know why. We aren't especially good people. I mean, we're alright, but not overly generous or kind or thoughtful or selfless to others. We love our God, but we aren't the best Christians in the world, or even probably in the top half. Why were we chosen to have these perfect little children when so many parents who are so much more deserving have been dealt a much harder hand? It's just not fair. To them.

Natalie and Abigail are so amazing. I don't know why our lives have been filled with so much light when others stumble in the darkness. I want to try to not take them for granted. I want to try to appreciate and revel in the light they bring to our world. I don't want to ever forget that our lives could be so much more dark.

Please check out the link below and learn a little about Nicholas. Be sure to read the NICU link. His mother gives voice to the hearts of all NICU parents in a way most of us never could.

http://www.littlemanthemovie.com/home.html

I don't know why our little Natalie and Abigail are so perfect. I can choose to believe it is because of the prayers of so many. Some of you have followed them since we first learned their little lives were in danger. Others have joined their journey recently. To you all - thank you. Thank you for your prayers. Natalie and Abby are perfect examples that God still does perform miracles.