Natalie and Abby's first trip to Holden Beach

Every summer when from the time I was one year old to sometime in high school, my extended family on my mother's side would all gather at Holden Beach, NC for a fun-filled, memory making week at the beach.

It began with our former matriarch, my great grandmother, Pallie, and her children (Mema, Joyce, John, LouRee (deceased) and their families in various representations.  I enjoyed many a summer day, and many a July birthday, at the beach surrounded by family.  For years and years, we even had the same beach house, High Rig, and it was like coming home.  We had our little traditions: a day at the water slide, one night fixing seafood, one night going out for seafood, late night/early morning spades games, and a night spent on the pier.  My dad would take us out on the pier to "fish" all night.  Mostly we ended up eating junk food and falling asleep huddled in our sleeping bags.  But, it was one of our favorite activities.

Well, the water slide is closed for the season, they are too young for the pier, and the water is way too cold to even think about swimming, but here we are, once again, at Holden Beach.  My mema, her brother and sister, my mom and her brother, my sister, and Ben, myself and the girls have gathered once again, abet in colder conditions, for a week at the beach.

We actually gather under bittersweet conditions.  My beloved Mema has had Lymphoma for the past 5 years and after intense chemo, radiation, various other milder forms of chemo, and losing her sight, it has reached the stage where it is no longer responsive to treatment.  She has been given just a few more months to live.  Although most of us weren't terribly surprised, we are deeply saddened and struggle to comprehend a world without Mema.  She is the kindest, gentlest, sweetest, more caring person I've ever known.  She has always endured every hardship with a measure of grace beyond my comprehension. And she has been the best mema anyone could ever, ever, ever had.  My sister and I are so close to her and it's almost incomprehensible to think of her being gone.  But, in true Mema fashion (who responded to the doctor's news with, "well that's the way it's supposed to be, we aren't supposed to live forever,") we are to make the most of the time we have left. 

So, at her request, we have come together once again to honor the memories and glory days of weeks past at Holden Beach.  We have a beautiful house with an elevator that is just steps from the sand.  We can fall asleep to the sound of the ocean.  Although she can't see it, Mema will be able to sit on the deck (wrapped in a million blankets) or even by a window and hear the waves crash on the shore and hear the pitter-patter of little feet running around the house.

The weather is cool, but the girls still enjoyed their first venture onto the beach today.  Once again, we've confirmed my suspicion that it is the sound of the ocean that disturbs them so much.  The ocean is as calm as I have ever seen it - virtually flat with the waves breaking just inches off shore.  But, any slightly larger crashing wave sent them into a tizzy.  It's just so loud for them.  When we retreated up the beach towards the dunes, they stopped, began playing in the sand and having a much better time.  It's possible that by the end of the week, they will accumulate to the sound of the waves, or we just may end up playing high on the beach near the dunes.

I'm actually excited about our week here.  We haven't had a really restful vacation since the girls were born.  Hopefully, we can just chill and relax this week.  Ben unfortunately won't be as relaxed.  He has to go back and forth a bit to work a few days.  But hopefully, when he's here, he can relax too.

One more word on my mema...as I mentioned, she lost her sight completely in the past few years, probably due to either the chemo or radiation.  She has never seen the girls. She has said repeatedly that it is her only real regret and if she could see anything, she could want to see them.  So, if you are a praying folk, please pray that for at least one minute, Mema's eyes would be healed to allow her to see Natalie and Abby.  After the beach, I plan on basically moving to my mom's for the next few months, with a few trips home here and there.  But, we will be around plenty and will give God plenty of opportunity for miracle moments.  If you are not a praying folk, then you can wish that the cancer will hit some weird nerve either here or there that will restore her sight for however brief a moment.

There will be plenty of beach updates, as well as some procrastinated ones that I've been meaning to get too.  I think there's a June post somewhere in the list to be edited...