"Check on Mema"

Every morning when we get up, I tell the girls we have to go "check on Mema".  They run towards her room shouting "check on mema, check on mema".  It's hard to describe the level of love and devotion they have for her.  They display a remarkable sense of empathy for their young age.  (My mother, the social worker, has assured me that we do not have to worry about them being sociopaths.  Well, yes, that's good to know.)

Natalie and Abby ask to "get on the bed" and sit beside mema to give her a hug and kiss.  Today, Natalie kept asking for "hand, hand" because she wanted to hold Mema's hand.  They love to make sure she has her tissues boxes and always make sure her "little Buddy" (a little stuffed green doggy)  and Biscuit* (another stuffed doggy) are with her.  They even know about Mema's "oxgen" and make sure she has it on as well.  If they hear us talking about her pillows, they will bring us one, and they like to pull the blankets up and tuck her in.  They seem to understand that Mema is sick and that her leg hurts and they aren't to touch it.  They also know the things mema uses.  She always drinks out of the small plastic yellow cups (like a child's cup).  I've been using one in the tub to wash the girls' hair.  Every time we get in the tub, Abby says, "this is mema's, this is mema's." 

I'm so glad the girls can be here to get to know Mema.  And, I'm glad they can bring her joy.  When she hears their voices she says, "I hear a little one" and her face just lights up.  When they touch her hand, she says, " I feel a little hand" with a smile.  In the last few days, which have been very hard, they have been nearly the only thing that has made her really smile.

Having the girls here is such a blessing, for all involved, I believe.  But it also poses the potential problem of the confusion they will experience when they come in to check on Mema and she is no longer here.  Christmas has actually worked in our favor since we have talked a lot about Baby Jesus being born.  I've been preparing them by talking about how Baby Jesus lives in Heaven with God and we can't see him.  Then I say that Mema is going to go live with Baby Jesus and we won't be able to see her anymore either.  I'm pretty sure they have no idea what I am saying or what I mean.  But, if I can keep preparing them, maybe it will come together when we have to say good-bye to mema and they can't see her anymore.  Explaining death to 2.5 year olds is tough.  If anyone has any ideas, feel free to share.

*Biscuit is really more than just a stuffed animal.  He is a part of our family.  Years ago, maybe 20ish, my Aunt Joyce (mema's sister) bought Biscuit for Granny (their mother, my great-grandmother) when she was sick.  Since then, whenever someone was sick, Biscuit was sent to stay with them.  He has been mailed and carried across a number of states to whichever member of the family was in the most need.