Breaking News

The word is in...the girls are coming home!!!! I have 7 days to clean, organize, prepare - and sleep. Natalie and Abigail are slated to come home Wednesday, Sept 19!!! They will come home a few days after their 4 month birthday and weighing a whooping 6+ pounds and 7lbs. So much for the preemie diapers and preemie clothes! We are so excited we can hardly stand it.

The girls will come home with their nasal feeding tubes (ng tubes) and heart rate monitors in case of braidys or chocking caused by movement of the tubes. A home health nurse will stop by every few days to check up on things. We will see a feeding specialist at Duke at the 2 week and 4 week mark. If everything falls into place by Friday, there is a chance they could come home Monday or Tuesday. The 48 hours prior to their homecoming, I will spend "rooming-in" at the hospital with the girls. We will have our own little room and I primarily will care for them (Ben, too, of course). We have to watch the CPR video, learn how to put in and check the ng tube, understand and know how to administer their meds and know how to work the monitors and feeding pumps. Just call me Nurse JoJo.

We are so happy that this day is finally near. I am confident that they will do better with eating at home. At least - they can't do much worse. I know many of you want to visit - and we want to see you and show off the girls. I will post rules and regulations after I talk to the doctor about precautions.

Thanks to all who have long prayed for their health and homecoming. Our NICU journey is almost at an end.

A quick word before bed...

Just a quick update...

The girls continue to do better. Last night, over night, they each took a full bottle. Today they had several feeds taking between 30ml-40ml. Yeah!!! The doctor again mentioned a "plan for going home". We're still looking at the end of next week/weekend/ beginning of the following week.

Today is day two of my dairy-free life. I bought soy butter (very good) and soy milk (haven't tried yet). Yesterday, I narrowly pulled myself out of a deep depression when it dawned on me that chocolate is made of milk. I really think I could just cry.

The "H" Word

The doctor actually said it...the "H" word - home! Now, don't get too excited yet - it's very cautious and not at all certain.

Tuesday morning I had a discussion with Dr. Isatt, their current doctor. She actually took care of them at Duke when they were very, very sick. She was disappointed to see they were still here. Monday when I spoke with her, I had expressed our own frustration and once again mentioned bringing them home on gavage. She wanted to consult with Dr. Malcom at Duke, a reflux specialist to see if he had any idea. Tuesday, she told me his ideas and the new plan.

The Problem:
Dr. Malcolm suggested two things that may be related: First, Since they tend to take the first 25-35ml okay, he thought maybe their stomachs are not emptying as quickly as they should and they feel full and therefore stop eating. He thinks this could be related to: Second: a possible milk-protein allergy. It's also possible the first thing isn't true, but the allergy is.

The Plan:
Starting today at their 2pm feeding they started receiving Elecare - a non-milk product formula. They will try this for one week to see if it helps. At the same time - mom is now on a dairy-free diet. No cheese, butter, milk, and I realized today - no chocolate! I will continue to pump and mark the dairy-free milk (isn't that an oxymoron!) so if the Elecare seems to make a difference, they can take dairy-free breast milk. Why, you may wonder, would I continue to breast feed if I have to give up all dairy. Well, the answer is that one can of Elecare is $35-$45. At their current consumption (which will only continue to go up), one can will last about 3 days. So, that's about $450 a month in formula. Now you understand.

The Conclusion:
Two scenarios are possible from this new plan:
One: The dairy-free regimen works, they start eating well, and could come home at the end of next week.

Two: The non-dairy regimen doesn't work, and they still may go home at the end of next week, but with a ng-tube (nose feeding tube) and a time table of one month. We will work on the feeds and check in with Dr. Malcolm for one month. If they haven't gotten it by then, we potentially move to 2a: a semi-permanent g-tube (a feeding tube inserted surgically directly into the stomach). The nose tubes have to be changed once a month (or whenever the girls pull them out which is rather frequently). There's a greater chance for infection and irritation. Obviously, we don't want to get to option 2a.

I firmly believe they will do better at home - if I can just get them there. By whatever method, there is a good chance they will come home at the end of next week - provided everything else stays okay.

Nothing is for sure, but at least we have some of the other "H" word - hope.

A Week in Review - Saturday, Sept 1 - Sept 5

I'm so sorry I get behind. I fully appreciate those of you who diligently check the site every day hoping for some new bit of information. At last - you are rewarded!

Saturday and Sunday
Mommy and Daddy took a little trip. Frankly, the stress was getting to us, and we decided a little get-away was in order. We hadn't really had a "just us" vacation since March of 2006, and we figured it would be our last for a while. We headed up I-40 and caught the Blue Ridge Parkway and traveled south towards Asheville. We stopped along the way at the Brinager Cabin (just an old, cool late-19th century home site). We saw a number of deer with fawns along the road. We ended up in Blowing Rock/Boone and tried desperately to find a place to stay. We discovered it is not a good idea to go willy-nilly to the mountains on Labor Day weekend. We finally found a room in Lenior. Sunday, we visited Grandfather Mountain. I had not been in years and Ben had never been. We continued on down the Parkway for a while until finally coming out of the clouds and heading home. The little trip did us good and we returned happy and less stressed.

On the the girls: the basics...
Abigail - feeds
Fri -
3:30am - 3ml
9am - 1ml
Sat
2am - 36ml
8am - 25ml
Sun
2am - 34ml
2pm - 30ml
8pm - 40ml (great job Nanny!)
Mon
2am - 30ml
11am - 34ml
5pm - 41ml
Tues
2am - 39ml
11am - 22ml (mommy)
Wed
2am - 51ml (mommy)
11am - 50ml (mommy)
5pm - 22ml (mommy)

weight
Fri - 2690g
Sat - 2735g
Sun - 2735g
Mon - 2745g
Tues -2825g
Wed - 2870g (6lb 5.2oz)

Natalie
feeds
Sat
5am - 23ml
11am - 37ml
Sun
2am - 4ml
11am - 42ml
5pm - 25ml
Mon
2am - 15ml
11am - 39ml
8pm - 22ml
Tues
2am - 24ml
2pm - 12ml
11pm - 42ml (mommy)
Wed
5am - 22ml (mom)
11am - 40ml (OT/ST)
8pm - 25ml (mom)

weight
Fri - 2366g
Sat 2380g
Sun 2375g
Mon 2455g
Tues 2445g (5lb 6oz)

Good News

No, no - not the long-awaited for and hoped for going home news, but still really good news.

The girls had their eyes checked again and they had great reports. Natalie's eyes are still good, and Abby's eyes are looking much better. Both exams also show that their eyes are in Zone 3 out of 3 as far as growth. In other words, the blood vessels in the eyes are nearly finished growing.

The girls were quite cute today. I was holding Natalie while she sucked on her paci. The paci´s are hollow and both girls like it when you put her finger in it. It´s kind'of neat because you can feel them sucking. Anyway, I was holding her and had my pointy finger in her paci. She was holding on to my thumb with one hand and another finger with her other hand. It was so very cute.

Abigail and I had some nice quality time as well. We had our final Kangaroo Care video session today. She did great. At the very end though, she started grunting and moving around. Then a heard a big toot! After that, she settled right back down:-) They've actually been very gassy lately and are quite the little tooters. Daddy is very proud.

Honestly - how hard is it to learn to eat?

Apparently, it's pretty hard. Since I keep talking about their feeds, I thought I'd vent a bit.

Learning to eat from a bottle is of utmost importance - obviously. It's their ticket home. So far, it's not going well. As you can tell from my little columns and lists, their success is completely random.

So, you might ask, what exactly is the problem? Hmmm. Good question. The current theory is reflux. It's pretty much like reflux in adults, and as the adults can tell you - it really sucks. The symptoms the girls have shown have mostly been in terms of their apparent discomfort. They arch their backs, move their mouths around and occasionally cry a little. In the last few days however, I've noticed them licking their lips and swallowing a lot. They've also started spitting up a little.

It actually just breaks my heart that they might be in pain. Poor little things. They are receiving reflux meds that are supposed to help. They probably are. It's one of those things where even though they still have problems you never know just how bad it would be without them.

Theory two is a combination of the reflux theory and simple prematurity. They simply may not be ready yet. Some babies just take longer. I'm told that one day the light bulb will just go off, and they'll "get it". I want to know if Babies R US sells those light bulbs. I need two.

It's so frustrating when they are getting so big and still can't come home. Our stress level is rising every day. It's getting harder and harder. We just thought they'd be home by now. We are even getting a little snippy so we've decided to take a few days together this weekend and just chill out. It will be our last chance before the girls come home.

Please continue to pray that there's a sale soon on light bulbs.

Abby - world traveler

Well, at least a cross-town traveler. She has made her way back to DRH AGAIN. She arrived about 7:30 Tuesday evening. Obviously, her eye exam went really well. Her eye showed improvement and no surgery was required. The doctor thinks her eye will continue to improve and be just fine. Yeah!!! Thanks God!

Since time continues to fly, I'll catch up on the week.

While Abby was in their care, Duke took care of a few housekeeping duties. Sunday evening she had a VCUG - voiding cystourethrogram. Radioactive fluid is squirted into the bladder to see where it goes. It's trying to detect if any urine is flowing backwards into the bladder. If it does, it can cause an infection. She has been on amoxicilin just in case that happened. But, the VCUG showed that the bladder was functioning normally and there was no sign of urine reflux. This is great and means she can stop the antibiotic.

Tuesday before she left, she also had an Upper GI to see if there were any physiological reasons for her eating issues. Again, everything looked good. It did show some mild reflux.

Speech and OT continued to work on her bottle feeds. I was told she took a whole bottle right after she arrived on Sunday afternoon. On Monday at 2pm, she also took another full bottle. I think that's all they tired at Duke. Today (wednesday), she had a bottle at 6am, but only took 12ml. At 2pm, she took 25ml. At 8pm she took 35ml. Her weights at Duke were 2610g on Sunday and 2630g on Monday. When they checked her back in to DRH she weighed in at 2640g - 5lbs 13.12oz. Wednesday, she weighed in at 3695 - almost 2 more ounces - 5lbs 15.06oz! She may hit 6lbs tomorrow! She's going to outgrow some of her clothes before she ever gets home! And never mind those preemie diapers I bought. She'll be in Size 1 any day now. Oh - another little first today - I clipped Abby's nails for the first time. They are the tiniest things you have ever seen. But, I manage to avoid drawing blood.

On to Natalie...

Natalie managed fine while her sister was away. OT and Speech worked with her a lot between Sunday and today.
Sun - 11am - 44ml
Mon - 12am - 13ml
9am - 20ml
6pm - 24ml
Tues 9am - 36ml
9pm - 15ml
Wed - 3am - 24ml
9am - 11ml
3pm - 9ml
9pm - 40ml

She also continues to grow.
Sun - 2165g
Mon - 2225g
Tues - 2230g
Wed - 2270g - 5lbs!!!! and .07oz. Go Natalie!!!

Monday was a big day for Natalie as she also had her nails clipped for the first time. As it was my first time, I have to say, it was one of the scariest things I've ever done. Luckily - we both survived - with all 10 fingers - and my sanity in tact.

Back at Duke

Well, as of about 2pm, Abby is back at Duke. She settled in nicely and the nurse said she seemed quite happy. Almost as soon as she arrived, they fed her by bottle and she took the whole thing. Go figure. They will check her eyes Monday morning. Oh, today while still at DRH, they put Abby in the swing for the first time. They said she seemed to like it. I hate I missed it.

Back at DRH, Natalie is doing well. She also took her full bottle at 11am. Our girls are so weird. Natalie also gained another ounce and is at 2165g - 4.12lbs. If she continues to take her bottles, maybe she can come home next week! I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I hope, hope, hope.

Clear plastic containers, label makers, and color coded closets...

No, no, no - not that kind of organization! I promised an explanation of the oft-used term, "organization" in relation to the girls. This may be a little technical, so hang with me.

If a person says the term, "fetal position", most people can visualize what that means. We imagine a person curled up in a ball with their head to their chest, arms pulled in and legs tucked to their chest. There's a reason this position is termed in this way. As the womb shrinks to an ever-growing baby, the baby is forced to assume this curled up position. There are practical reasons for this - space being the most obvious one. However, there are also physiological reasons as well - leading to the concept of organization and sensory integration.

The skin is the body's largest organ and the largest receptor of sensory information. It feels hot, cold, soft, and firm and takes all manners of information from the world and transmitting that information to the central nervous system and then to the brain. In most babies the central nervous system is developed enough to accept and process the information it receives. If the information is too much, the baby can "curl" to protect itself. Think about what happens when you get cold. You immediately pull your arms in to your body to minimize your skin's exposure to the cold. If you are really cold, you sit and pull your legs in and drop your head to your chest, aka the fetal position. It's also a protective position for emotional pain. When we are hurting emotionally, we crawl into bed and curl up. It's our body's way of saying it can not handle any more stimuli, and it's a way of the body calming itself. And herein lies the key to "organization".

Full-term babies are better able to recognize when they receive stimuli and can pull their hands and arms in to minimize stimulation and calm themselves. Their abilities to bring their hands to their mouths and suck on their fingers are also calming and organizational behaviors. Pre-term babies especially, are not automatically geared to do this. Perhaps because their living spaces never became cramped enough and they never had to spend time in the fetus position, it simply is not instinctive. Also, since they did not have time to finish developing their nervous systems, they simply don't know how to respond to excess stimuli. The result is disorganization.

There are many cues the babies give to indicate their disorganization and stress: Flailing arms and legs; open hands (opposed to fists); straight and locked arms and legs; and scared, wide-eyed looks on their faces among others. Organized cues include clenched fists, arms drawn into center of chest, hands at mouth and bent knees. For babies who are not organized, they have to be taught and encouraged how to do it.

Teaching Natalie and Abigail how to organize themselves involves a few different methods. They are usually kept wrapped up with their hands snuggled tightly at their faces so they can suck on them. Wrapping, called swaddling, also keeps their arms and hands centered in their chest. They are also swaddled with their legs in a "flexed" position. The babies also prefer firm, deep touches to light touches - think massage versus tickling. They also prefer quieter voices to loud, sudden ones. All of this is partly to re-create the conditions of the womb - quiet, cramped, and comfy.

For those who are still reading, congratulations. You've made it through Baby Organization 101. All this is important because the inability to organize can lead to future issues, like sensory-integration problems. That's exactly what it sounds like, the inability to process or integrate all the sensory information that the body receives. It mostly occurs in the areas of touch and sound. For instance, I have a few sensory issues myself. I hate for rough things to touch me. I also hate tight things. I've been like this since I was a child. It has and continues to do considerable damage to my wardrobe. I hate most fashionable clothes since I find them too tight or made of some weird yucky fabric. I'm a loose cotton t-shirt, elastic waistband type of girl. So, we are trying to prevent such weirdness in our girls.

Well, now you know what I'm talking about when I throw around big words like "organization" and "sensory integration". If you are completely lost and actually care, give me a call:-)

On the road...again

Well, Abby's eyes were checked again on Friday. (I must say I've been very pleased with how they are keeping on top of it.) Her left eye was still fine, but her right eye showed more advancement into stage 3 ROP. So - back to Duke. This time Dr. Tang (at DRH) wants them to stay until they go home. She is also very concerned about their lack of oral feeding. She wants Natalie to go to Duke as well for her feeding issues, and since it may be two more weeks, to make life easier on us.

They've been trying various things at DRH with the feeds: breast milk with progestimil (which supposedly tastes yucky); then breast milk with Elecare (supposedly no taste). Today they are trying just breast milk trying to determine if there's something about the taste they don't like. They are also adding "simply thick", a Vaseline-like substance that thickens the milk so they don't choke so much. We are also holding off on breastfeeding this weekend in case that's causing them confusion. In any case, they are about out of ideas. Their best guess is that the girls suffer from reflux - very common in preemies. They don't spit up often, but it can still enter their throats causing burning and irritation. There is a doctor at Duke that does research in reflux and Dr. Tang think he may have some ideas. That's why she wants them to go - and stay - at Duke.

Do, they will move over Sunday or Monday morning. Probably Sunday. Hopefully they will take Natalie too. Although parking is a pain at Duke, we are looking forward to going "home". I'm looking forward to the cotton (and not nylon) short-sleeved gowns and the comfy recliner chairs for holding and breastfeeding. Ahhhh.

In other news...
Weights
Abby
Fri - 2515g
Sat - 2530g (5.9lbs)

Natalie
Fri - 2080g
Sat - 2130g (4.11lb- shortening the gap!)

Just a run down of their sporadic feeds...
Natalie
fri
2am - 8ml
11am - 6ml
8pm - 25ml
Sat
5:30am - 6ml
11am - 11ml
5pm - 30ml

Abby
fri
12am - 5ml
9am - 6ml
9pm - 21ml
sat
6:30am - 12ml
11am - 20ml
6 pm - 17ml

As you can see there's no pattern or progression. It's completely random. Hopefully Duke will have some eyes, or as Dr. Tang said, maybe they don't like Durham Hospital and will like it better at Duke.

It costs HOW MUCH???

So, we received an Explanation of Benefits from our insurance company today for Abigail's charges. Anybody want to guess???


Wait for it............$377,862.06. Once again. $377,862.06. The best part is the plan liability part - $0. Total Patient Responsibility - $377,862.06. Obviously this isn't correct. Oh, and the best I can tell, that's only through July 11. Interestingly, one of the largest charges is $45,470.00 for drugs. I've been trying to talk to Abby about that crack habit.

We haven't seen all the bills from Duke yet. I'm wondering if this is even correct. I guess we'll see. All I can say, regardless of its issues, is thank God for health insurance.

New Pictures

I've posted new pictures for weeks 13 and 14. I also updated the "Watch Me Grow Week by Week". That's really worth checking out. To see how they've grown and changed from birth to now is amazing. Enjoy.

A reminder...

Please don't forget to sign your name on the posts you leave. We love reading them, but we can't tell who they are from if you don't sign your name! Thanks!

The days fly by...

Is it Thursday already?? I get so easily behind. How does that happen? Well, here's the news...

Tuesday Abigail had her eyes checked again. I was very pleased they went ahead and checked them as I had asked. Her left eye showed even more improvement. The right eye, the troubled one, was "stable". I guess that's good. They will check them again in 4-6 days.

Tuesday morning the girls did well with their feedings. Speech fed them at 11am and Natalie took her whole bottle! Abby took 40ml of her 55ml feed. Later that evening at 8 and 9pm, Poppy and Nanny took turns feeding the girls and did quite well. Natalie again took a full feed. Abby only took 22ml, but she was half asleep the whole time.

Obviously, Poppy and Nanny were visiting on Tuesday. Our dear friend, Laura, also visited on Tuesday. I was able to sneak her in by saying she was from our church, which is true. She was able to hold Natalie and it was darling.

Wednesday
Wednesday was frustrating for Mommy. I tried to breastfeed both girls and neither would have anything to do with it. I was very frustrated. I have great milk production, but the equipment to transfer it falls a bit "flat". Later that evening, Ben and I had a little talk. Ben was wonderful and very supportive. I just have to remember to stay calm and realize that they will eventually get it - when they are ready.

Wednesday evening also saw a visit from Aunt Kimmy. Ben has two bracelets, so Kimberly put one on and they never even blinked about letting her in. It's been over a month since she's seen them and they are a lot bigger now. The visit was short, but we are so glad she could see them. I know the girls were thrilled.

Today - Thursday - was a nice day. I was at the hospital from about 2 to 7:30. They moved the babies around in the room so we have the whole back corner. There's also no one on the opposite side of the room, so really we have the whole back half of the room, which is quite nice.

I tried breastfeeding Natalie at 2pm with the help of Speech and Cathy, the lactation consultant. It didn't work. I did manage to stay much more calm this time. I ended up kangarooing Natalie while Speech bottle feed Abby. They tried putting some thickening stuff in the milk to see if it helped her any. It didn't. She only took 15ml and worked hard for that. So, no more thickening stuff and better luck next time. I also took some time to kangaroo Abby. I really enjoyed just holding and enjoying my little girls.

Here are their recent weights:
Abby
Mon - 2310
Tues - 2365
Wed - 2425
Thurs - 2425 (5lb 5.53oz)

Natalie
Mon - 1899
Tues - 1968
Wed - 2040
Thurs - 2045 (4lb 8.135oz)

As a side:
You may have been wondering why my dad, step-mom, and sister were visiting in the middle of the week. Unfortunately, we had a tragedy in our family this week. My cousin, Dustin, was killed in a motorcycle accident in Burlington on Saturday night. He was only 21. They were all here for the funeral on Wednesday. It was a very sad for all of us, especially Dusty's father and brother. Unfortunately, Dustin had a tough life during his short time here. He had bi-polar disorder and had struggled with the disease most of his life. Although his passing is tragic, we have all been comforted that his suffering in this world is now over, and he is finally at peace.

Mommy's OWLS - Divination - T

For all you Harry Potter fans, you know that Divination is the art of predictions. A T stands for Troll - the lowest grade you can get. A review of the predictions I made several weeks ago reveals Mommy will NOT be pursuing a NEWT in this subject. For those non-Harry Potter fans who are desperately confused, my predictions were wrong, and oh, read the books:-)

Abby
* Abby is steadily gaining weight. At this rate I think she will hit 4lbs by August 8 - in one week. THIS IS THE ONLY ONE I GOT RIGHT - SHE MADE 4 LBS SUNDAY, AUG 5.
* She is now receiving at least 3 of her 8 feedings a day by bottle and taking all or nearly all of each feeding. I think she will take all of them within the next two weeks - by August 15 - her 3 month birthday. WRONG
* With all her progress, I really feel that Abigail will make it home by her due date - August 20 (a Monday). I think she'll come home at about 4 lbs 9 oz. VERY WRONG - SHE'S NOT HOME YET, AND SHE IS ALREADY AT 5 LBS

Natalie
* Natalie is doing really well, but is still almost 11 ounces behind Abby. She had some setbacks in growing, but she seems to be taking off now. I predict that she will hit 4 lbs by August 15. NOPE - SHE HIT 4 LBS AUG 17
* Natalie is also doing well with her bottles, but again, started almost two weeks behind Abby. She is trying 3 bottles a day as well, but not eating them as completely as often as Abby. I think she will need an extra week or two and may come home around August 31. UNKNOWN - THIS HASN'T BEEN PROVEN WRONG YET, BUT IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD

And with that - Mommy's out of the prediction business.

A few days in review...

I need to catch up the last few days, so here goes...

Friday - The girls has their eyes checked again for ROP. Natalie's eyes look great. They are now between Stage 1 and 2. Abby's left eye also still looks better - Stage 2. However, now her right eye is showing some Stage 3. It wasn't concerning enough to send her back to Duke, but they will check them again in 5-7 days. I actually requested today that they check them sooner rather than later. Hopefully, they will look at them on Wednesday.

I can't remember if I posted that the girls failed their cortisone tests last week. It's not a really big deal; it just means they will continue to receive hydrocortisone in very small doses.

As of today, they have switched them from Progestimil to EleCare preemie formula. They are both pre-digested, hypoallergenic, yada, yada, formulas. The EleCare is supposed to be easier on the stomach. It also tastes better. Apparently the Progestimil is icky and changes the taste of the breast milk when mixed in. The idea is that if they like the taste better, they will take more from the bottle.

They measured the girls today. Abigail is 18 inches long now. Natalie is a bit behind at 16 1/4 inches.

Here's the run down of their weights:
Abby
Wed 2150
Thurs 2120
Fri 2205
Sat 2225
Sun 2300
Mon 2310g (5 lb 1.48oz)

Natalie
Wed 1739
Thurs 1779
Fri 1829
Sat 1872
Sun 1894
Mon 1899g (4lb 2.985oz)

40 weeks! Their Due Date has Arrived!

Well, as of today, the girls are officially here. From hence forth, if you ask their age, you will get two answers: their "real age" (time since birth) and their "corrected age" (time since due date). For instance, today they are 3 months old or 0 days old. The corrected date is important in terms of evaluating developmental milestones. If their actual age is used, they'll appear delayed in everything, like rolling over, sitting up, etc. Using the corrected age shows more accurately if they are on schedule or having delays that may need intervention.

Also, as of today, my patience has officially expired. I have suddenly developed a desperate longing for the girls to come home - NOW. I found myself very frustrated today with their lack of progress in the eating department. I was especially jealous when the baby next to us, a 29 weeker, now only 33 weeks, was chomping down her bottle like a pro. It's very frustrating. They are doing so well in every way, and the ONLY thing holding their ability to take their feeds from bottle and/or breast. We are told that one day they'll just "get it". I think it's time.

Here I come to save the day!

So Mommy has been out of town at a wedding on Friday and Saturday and then yesterday a family emergency on her side cropped up. So that explains the lack of posting.

But never fear, Daddy is here! Just a quick update before I get my second cup of coffee and start working. Last night Johelen and I bottle-fed Abby and Natalie and both did extremely well. This is the second time I've done a feeding and it's pretty cool. I also changed a couple diapers on Saturday while my Dad was here and it was pretty messy. I'm getting the hang of it though, and can tell with about 95% accuracy if they pooped or not. Natalie also farted on my hand which had me laughing for a while. Hey, I'm a guy and bathroom humor is still funny to me!

Natalie is at 4lbs 1oz.
Abby is just a smidge over 5lbs!

I'm sure once Johelen wakes up this morning, she'll update ya'll some more.

mmmmm...coffee....

3 months old - August 15

I'm sorry for not updating more often. Life gets so busy and when things are going well, there are fewer things to report. I've been spending 4-6 hours in the afternoon at the hospital with the girls and by the time I get home the time just flies. I'll try to do better:-)

Okay - here we go.
Tuesday
Yesterday, the girls were 13 weeks old. They are just growing and growing. Abby gained nearly 2 ox in one night. She went from 2035g Monday to 2110g (4lb 10.5oz) on Tuesday! Wow! Natalie's doing pretty well yourself - she was 1702g (3lb 12oz) on Tuesday. They have had a little reflux with their feedings. I think they are going to start Natalie on Zantax to help. They haven't been doing very well with their bottle feedings, but hopefully they will get better.

Natalie also had a cortizone test to see how well she's doing without receiving the hydrocortizone. We haven't heard what the results were yet. Abby will have the test Wednesday.

Wednesday
Wednesday morning the doctor called and said Abby's hemocrit (red blood cell production) was at 21. That's pretty low. I wasn't too surprised since it had been at 24 a few days ago. So, little Abby needed a blood transfusion. They do it over two days so she'll get more on Thursday. She did great though and by the end was just as pink as could be!

Once again, neither did well with nippling in the morning. However, they each did better with breastfeeding in the afternoon. At her 5pm feeding, Natalie took 14ml. At 8pm, Abby did 24ml. She did great! They seem to do better with breastfeeding which is perfect if you ask me!

At lunch we had a visit from a case worker from the state Infant-Child Development Coordinator to explain some of the services available to the girls. She will help coordinate OT, PT, Speech and whatever else to help get the girls up to date with development. The best part is it's all free! Most of the people will come to our house to do the therapies which is wonderful. Just as a note - my mom actually used to do this job. She actually did evaluations and provided the therapies. Needless to say, Natalie and Abigail will definately have people on top of things when it comes to development!

There's still no discussion on coming home. Obviously, they aren't eating very well so until they catch on, mum's the word.

Here's a quick recap of weight:
Abby
Mon - 2035g
Tues - 2110g
Wed - 2150g (4lb 11.8oz) - can you believe this! She'll be 5 lbs before coming home!

Natalie
Mon - 1655g
Tues - 1702g
Wed - 1739g (3lb 13.3oz)

What a Wonderful World...

We have had a great weekend. Thursday and Friday Poppy visited. Then Nana and Mema arrived Friday night and have visited for several hours on Saturday and Sunday (and will again on Monday). Grandpa and Ya-Yai also came on Saturday. It's been a grandparents weekend! Mommy and Daddy have barely held the girls:-)

Everything continues to go well. They raised the volume of their feeds a little. Abby is receiving 42cc and Natalie 34cc. We are also still working on breastfeeding which is going quite well. Today Abby took 20cc and Natalie a whooping 26cc! It's actually somewhat unusual for preemies to learn to breastfeed, especially 26 week old preemies. But, I think my girls are going to figure it out! Mommy is getting the hang of it either. Note to men: it's not as easy as it looks! But, we are figuring it out. One of the Lactation Consultants, Cathy, also comes to DRH, and she's wonderful. I'm quite happy it's working out as bottle feeding and pumping would be a chore.

Their weights the past few days...
Abby
thurs 1857
fri 1912
Sat 1967
Sun 2000 4.54lb

Natalie
thurs 1488
fri 1523
sat 1585
sun 1628 3.942lbs

I have posted some new pictures, so be sure to check them out.

Also, thanks to Tamara and Carolina for visiting the babies and bringing such lovely gifts. As always, Tamara has great taste and brought a Peter Rabbit plate, cup and bank. Little did she know my mom had already started collecting Peter Rabbit for the girls!

NICU Day 87

Wow - 87 days! Sounds like forever, but the end is near.

Last night and this morning Poppy was here for a visit. We had a great time holding the girls and talking. Nana and Mema will be here this weekend and I know Natalie and Abigail are very excited.

Today we had some good reports. Abby had her repeat eye exam for ROP. Good news!! Her eyes still look better. There is only one place on her left eye that is of concern, but the doctor didn't seem concerned. She feels it will continue to improve. We also had a breastfeeding session with Abby. We tried a breast shield this time and it worked much better. Abby did great! She sucked about 10 minutes or so. We didn't weigh her before, so we didn't know how much she ate, but we thought about 10 ml. She ultimately got tired and sleepy, but considering they had just performed the eye exam (which isn't very fun), she was very agreeable. I feel much better about it now. I had really begun to think they'd never figure it out and I'd be stuck pumping and bottle feeding the breast milk. Today was very encouraging. We will try again at least once a day.

Natalie also had some good reports. PT came in about 1pm and did a little work with her. She said Natalie is getting much better at organizing herself and pulling in her legs and arms. (more on "organizing" in another post) Today she was so cute all wrapped up in her bed. She was sucking on her little thumb knuckle. Just darling:-)
Natalie also stopped receiving the microlipids today. She will continue to receive the progestimil at 3/4 teaspoon.

Their recent weights:
Natalie:
Thurs - 1488g
Fri - 1523 (3 lb 5.7oz)
Abigail
Thurs - 1857g
Fri - 1912g (4lb 3.4oz)

On the Road Again...

Abby is on the move - she is being returned to DRH this afternoon. We are very sad to leave Duke - again. We just love it there. It was so great to see some of the nurses again. We will definately visit again with both girls. We are happy that Natalie and Abigail will be together again. Two hospitals was a chore.

Natalie is doing well this morning as well. She will receive the other half of her blood transfusion this afternoon. I am going to try to breastfed her later tonight. I'll also give Abby a try as well. She did very well with her bottle this morning.


A note: I've mentioned little Buddy from Caswell County before. He is having a hard time right now. Please pray for him and his family.

Update:
Abby arrived happily at DRH about 5:30pm. She did very well with the transport. It was very nice to have them back together, even though we miss Duke. They aren't in the same bed right now because the beds DRH are too small. We may put them together for naps, but they will still have their own beds.

The girls continue to do well. I gave Natalie a bottle and she took 22cc. Abby had a bottle in the morning at Duke and took 34cc. Feed and grow...feed and grow...

Great News! - 12 week birthday

Abby had her repeat eye exam and the news was great! The ROP in her left eye had improved and was back in Stage 2. She will not need to have the surgery at this time. We are so thankful it looks like her vision will be okay. Of course, the ROP could take a turn for the worse and she could end up needing surgery after all, but for now, the news is very good. She will be checked again in a week. She is headed back to DRH as soon as they have a bed open.

Both girls had really good days. Yesterday, they were each a little fussy. Maybe they were missing each other. They still apparently are able to channel and copy each other even at different hospitals!

Monday, Abby tried a new, bigger nipple to help with her feeding. This nipple has three holes, but is a little harder to suck. So, even thought there are more holes, the milk comes out slower. I worked with Speech/OT to give her the 3pm bottle Monday and she took 20 of 39ml. Her night nurse, Mandy, reported that she too 15ml at her 9pm bottle. She was also given a bigger paci to go along with the bigger nipple so she can get used to the size. Today (Tuesday) she didn't do as well with her 3pm bottle, but she may have been tired out after her eye exam. Hopefully, she'll do better tomorrow. She is at the point where she has to eat her way out of the NICU. Her weight for the past few days:
Fri - 1780g
Sat - 1780g
Sun - 1820g
Mon - 1830g (just over 4 pounds!)

Natalie was also a little fussy yesterday, but was doing better today. Yesterday, she received her first big girl bed! It's a very small plastic-isolette like bed. (Abby actually has a crib-type bed.) They don't have the crib bed's at DRH because they take up so much room. In any case, she looks so cute in her little bed. She stays bundled up, but she seems to be holding her temperature well. Her weight was up and down a little. It's possible that trying to stay warm affected her. Also, she tested a little anemic Tuesday morning, so she received a transfusion this afternoon. Her weight:
Sat - 1371g
Sun - 1399g
Mon - 1445g
Tues - 1424g (3.23lbs.)

She has also been finicky about her bottles. The nurse hoped that the transfusion would help with her alertness and interest.

I'll try to post some more pictures soon. We have some adorable ones of Natalie in a little pink sundress:-)


**Mommy was a little ahead of the game and had originally posted that the girls were 13 weeks old. They are actually 12 weeks old. Mommy can't count. That's why Daddy is in charge of math homework:-)

Good News and the Not-as-bad-as-we-thought News

Friday turned out to be an interesting day. I was able to go to the hospital and spend time with the girls for the first time in nearly a week. It was so great to be with them. They are getting so big and are just so cute.

Early Friday afternoon, just before I arrived, the girls had their check-up eye exams to check the progression of ROP (retinothopy of prematurity). It's complicated to explain. If you really want to know, I suggest you google it. Otherwise, just know it has to do with the blood vessels growing correctly from the eye and attaching in the right places. If they don't, it can cause various degrees of vision problems including blindness.

I'd been there a little while when the doctor had news about the results of the exam. Natalie's eyes looked very good. What little ROP she had shown on her last exam actually appeared to be correcting itself and looked better than before. Abigail had a similar report for her right eye. Her left eye was a different story. It showed increased ROP to Stage 3 (of 5). The DR doctor felt that she may need corrective laser surgery. So, (this is the good news part) - they transferred Abby back to Duke to be seen by the doctor there. Apparently they only do the surgery at Duke. Therefore, to our great delight, Abby arrived back at Duke at about 8:30pm Friday evening. It was like coming home. The familiar waiting room, the friendly front desk staff, the short sleeved gowns and cushy chairs...It was wonderful. Ben accused me of being downright giddy. (and I was!)

When we walked in the room to see Abby, I'm proud to say I recognized her right away. But, we almost didn't believe it and double checked her tag because she was in a "big girl bed"! She was no longer in an isolette, but an open bed with a heater lamp about 2.5 feet above her. She was just so beautiful. She was actually just lying there without any blankets, and although her temp was good, I thought she looked cold, so we covered her with her special pink blanket and placed her little froggy at the head of her bed. I just can't say how adorable she looked.

The doctor came in about 9:15pm and checked her eyes. It's not a really fun exam and the babies don't care much for it. I don't think it hurts really; it's just uncomfortable. Of course, to Abby it was all the same and she cried and cried. Her darling daddy couldn't take it. He had to leave the room. It was really just too sweet and it was immediately clear who would be taking the kids for their vaccinations and any shots in the future.

In the end - the news was much better than we expected. The Duke doctor said she did NOT have Stage 3 ROP. There were a few spots that were stage 3, but overall it was still stage 2 and she felt it may correct itself as the other eye had. Also, for now, Abby does not need any corrective surgery. They will continue to monitor it and check her again in about a week. There's a chance it could worsen and she could need the surgery after all, but there's also a chance it will get better and she won't. We just have to wait and see.

For those who were paying attention - yes, Abby's trip back to Duke was a solo one. They didn't have enough room for Natalie too. So, poor Natalie is still stuck back at Durham Regional. We aren't sure how long Abby will stay at Duke. They may send her back to DR, then bring her back for her check-up. Or, they may keep her until the check-up. It probably depends on how much room they have and if they need the beds for children who are more critical. I'm going to ask about Natalie being transferred to Duke as well, especially if they are going to keep Abby for at least a week. Honestly, I'd be surprised if they agree to it. There's really no medical reason. I just don't like them being apart, and it does make it harder on us to go between two hospitals. However, if Abby can stay at Duke another week, I'll gratefully hospital-hop for as long as necessary.

Please pray that Abby's eye will heal and there will be no damage to her eye sight. As always, thanks for your prayers.

Still growing...

The girls continue to feed and grow. They have both been a little disinterested in their bottles for the last day or so. OT (Occupational Therapy) and Speech have been working with them each once a day. As soon as I am well enough to see and hold the girls again (hopefully tomorrow - Friday), I am going to start trying to breastfeed and give their bottles. Maybe they will respond better for their Mommy.

Review and Update:
starting Tuesday, July 24
Abigail
Tues -1427g (3.2lb)
Wed - 1440g
Thurs - 1457g
Fri -
Sat - 1553g
Sun - 1584g
Mon - 1624g
Tues - 1652g
Wed -
Thurs - 1687g
Fri - 1735g (3.13lb)

Natalie
Tues - 1162g (2.8lb)
Wed - 1186g
Thurs - 1207g
Fri -
Sat - 1247g
Sun - 1281g
Mon - 1302g
Tues - 1322g
Wed -
Thurs - 1342g (2.15lb)
Fri -

On Wednesday, I spoke with the doctor about how the girls are doing and what the plan is for the next few weeks. I also got a run down of what kind of drugs they are still on and why.

They will have another eye exam on Friday to check the progression (or hopefully non-progression) of the ROP.

Right now, they are both still receiving hydrocortizone for an adrenal insufficiency. The adrenal glands produce cortisal which is one of the hormones involved in stress situations. Sometimes preemies don't make enough. They are tapering it off and it will end on Aug 6. On August 13 they will have a stimulation test that involves introducing a different hormone that prompts the adrenal glands to produce cortisal so they can measure how much is produced and see if the glands are working properly.

They are also each receiving elemental iron to help maintain their red blood count. There's still a chance one or both may need another blood transfusion before they are discharged.

They also receive calitril - a calcium-type supplement for their bones. It also helps prevent a baby form of rickets.

Because of the possibility of a bladder infection that could be caused by the back flow of urine into the bladder, they are receiving a prophylactic dose of amoxicilin. Before they leave the hospital, they will have a VCUG test. I have no idea what that stands for, but basically they will insert a catheter into the bladder and inject a radioactive dye to allow them to see where the urine is going. If it's backing up, they will go home with antibiotics.

To help add additional vitamins and minerals and nutrition, they receive a special boost of pregestimil powder, a special preemie formula.

Natalie is also receiving a boost of microlipids to her feeds. It's to give her extra calories so she can grow faster.

We talked about the forecast for their homecoming. As expected, the doctor was non-committal. They have to meet the criteria I've mentioned before - 4lbs, maintain their temps, and take all their feeds orally.

The doctor did not indicate that they are having any major problems or areas of concern which is really great. They continue to do very well.

The main concern right now is their inconsistently in taking their bottles. Please pray for them to develop a sudden liking for bottle feeding.

Predictions...

It's very early on Tuesday morning, July 31. Today the girls are 12 weeks old and 37 weeks gestation. We've been on this NICU journey for 84 days. Wow - when I write that, I can't believe it. Has it really been that long. Ben and I were talking, and it just doesn't seem like 3 months have already passed. When the girls were born, their due date and target home date seemed so far away and we couldn't imagine how we would make it. Now, there is light at the end of the tunnel and the forecast looks great!

Here are my prediction:
Abby
* Abby is steadily gaining weight. At this rate I think she will hit 4lbs by August 8 - in one week.
* She is now receiving at least 3 of her 8 feedings a day by bottle and taking all or nearly all of each feeding. I think she will take all of them within the next two weeks - by August 15 - her 3 month birthday.
* With all her progress, I really feel that Abigail will make it home by her due date - August 20 (a Monday). I think she'll come home at about 4 lbs 9 oz.

Natalie
* Natalie is doing really well, but is still almost 11 ounces behind Abby. She had some setbacks in growing, but she seems to be taking off now. I predict that she will hit 4 lbs by August 15.
* Natalie is also doing well with her bottles, but again, started almost two weeks behind Abby. She is trying 3 bottles a day as well, but not eating them as completely as often as Abby. I think she will need an extra week or two and may come home around August 31.

Regardless of how accurate my predictions are, I feel fairly certain that Abigail will come home before Natalie. This is good and bad. We hate for the girls to be separated again. It will also make visiting Natalie complicated as I'm pretty sure Abby is not allowed back in once they send her home. So, we will have to visit one on one. The positive side is that Ben and I will have a chance to figure out how to take care of one baby before we have to figure out two!

If we ask the doctors about them coming home, they just say things like, "it depends on them". I think they hate to build up any hopes. But, I am less concerned about being wrong, so I have started seriously preparing for life with Abby in 3 weeks. We have organized their closet and begun the finishing touches on the Nursery. I'm also going to be in high gear wrapping up loose ends (like paper work, insurance stuff,etc.) and get their scrapbooks up to date. Life is about to take off!

Catching up...

Okay - I've been kind of slack in posting. It's been a busy week. I was out of town Sunday through Thursday. Thursday evening my mom and mema arrived and stayed until Sunday. Then on Saturday, I started getting sick with a cold and then developed a fever yesterday. I think I'm on the mend, but it's been pretty crazy. But, I have been busy posting and uploading pictures, so be sure to check the picture site. I'll have more videos soon. They take forever to load though.

So - now for the updates.

The girls keep growing and growing. The nurses at Duke said they would hit a point and just start gaining and gaining. I think they are there.

Abby:
Sun - 1584g
Mon - 1624g (3.9lbs)

Natalie
Sun - 1281g
Mon - 1302g (2lbs 13.9oz)

Natalie remains about a half a pound behind. They are both doing really well with their bottle feedings. Friday, Natalie was moved to 3 hour feedings and now is feed at 8,11,2,5... Abby is feed at 12,3,6,9,... Both are taking full bottles occasionally. I think they are being feed by bottle at least once per shift - which means 3 times a day. I really want to work on breastfeeding again as soon as I am well. I haven't seen the girls since Friday. Of course, I was out-of-town before that, so our practice schedule has been all messed up. Hopefully, in a few days I can visit again everyday and start practicing every day. Mommy needs as much practice as they do!

Nana and Mema hold the girls - July 20

Friday, Nana and Mema got to hold the girls for the first time. I'm not sure who was more excited. My grandmother has not actually been feeling very well. She even said that if it had been for any other reason than to hold the babies - she would have stayed home. The look on her face was just priceless. My mema is blind, so for her, holding them is the only way she can really see them and appreciate their size. She felt their little heads and hands and couldn't believe how small they were. Nana was also beaming. She held them like a pro. Definitely check out the pictures on the site to see the happiest grandmothers in the world.

July 20 - First Family Photo

We finally have a picture of our whole family together! It was so wonderful to hold both girls (although a bit of a handful!). It is so exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and began to see the four of us as a family. We are so blessed to have such beautiful children.

Friday, July 20 - Together at Last!!

The girls are together again! Today while Nana, Mema, and Mommy were visiting, Abigail's isolette malfunctioned. The nurse decided to put them together until Abby received a new condo. But, she said if they held their temps well she would leave them together. Since, I'm late in reporting, I can happily say that 3 days later they are still roommates. They are just adorable and we were able to get our first pictures of the girls together.** Ben wasn't there when it first happened, but we went back again later in the evening and he had his first look at them. They are just so cute and when I see them together it really starts to sink in that there are two of them!!


**This isn't entirely accurate. One of our sweet nurses at Duke, Gina, staged a surprise photo shoot of the girls. She took some adorable shots of the girls that I will try to scan in and post. But, this was the first time I had seen them together and could take pictures.

(Natalie is on the left and Abigail on the right)

The Baby Garden

At this stage in the game, the nursery becomes a place to feed and grow - basically a Baby Garden! This year, we're looking at a bumper crop.

Natalie's last weight I have is from Tuesday - 1162g (2.9lbs). She is still being feed on an on 2/off 2 hr schedule at 2,6,10,2... She's currently getting 17 ml per hour (34 ml in two hours). They will probably switch her to a 3 hour feed (1 on/ 2 off) soon. She started working with OT/Speech on Tuesday with some nippling (sucking on nipple top with milk dripped in open end). She's doing really well. She took 11 ml her first go! Yesterday (Thursday) she had her first actual bottle and drank 15 of 17 ml. We had her first "Lick and Learn" session today to introduce her to the breast. She did very well. She had already been awake quite a while but stayed alert and had a few good sucks.

Abigail continues to get bigger and bigger! Tuesday she weighed in at 1427g (3.233 lbs). She's on a 30min on/2.5 hour off feeding schedule at 12,3,6,9,12... They are now trying her with a bottle at least once each shift (3 shifts at D.Regional) and she's doing really well. She's basically taking a full bottle of 29ml. Tonight I'm hoping to try breastfeeding her a full feed, so we will see how it goes.

They really are doing well. At this rate I wouldn't be surprised at all if Abby is home by her due date of Aug 20. Natalie is a little behind, so she may follow a week or two later. It's very exciting to think we are so close. We still face the chance of possible infections (including NEC - don't forget our chant!), but if we can avoid all that, they'll be home very soon!

Mommy meets the new NICU...

...and, well, it didn't go very well. Mommy doesn't care much for Durham Regional's Special Care Nursery. The nurses are fine and nice, but it's the little things - like the long sleeve (read HOT) plastic-like gowns to have to wear, and the hard wooden rocking chairs without cushions which make holding your baby for hours oh-so-much-fun. My "favorite" new thing is the incredibly stupid visitation rule. Each baby can have two visitors which can either be parents or grandparents. End of sentence. Period. That's the whole list. So, that means that my sister, Ben's brother, our sister-in-law, my aunts and uncles that live near by, friends, or Ben's cousins who are coming from Atlanta to see the babies can not get into the room to see them. No one. They can stand at the window in the next room and peer through as we hold them up like auction pieces. Mommy is very, very annoyed. Also, the lactation consultant gave me a look because I was late today getting there for a lick and learn with Natalie, later gave me a thinly disguised lecture on the importance of being on time, and also acted like I just fell off the turnip truck when it came to holding my baby. She kept her hands under her the whole time like I was going to drop her or something. AND, the speech/OT lady yesterday refused to let me give Natalie her first bottle ever because she "needed to watch how she did with it". Hello - you're sitting right there - you can't see her from a foot away? Yesterday was my first visit, and ultimately I got so upset I had to leave for a while.

Anyways...I'm often not particularly fond of changes, and this is definately one I'd just as soon as skipped. We would have been perfectly happy staying at Duke until they came home. I know, I know, other sick little babies need to be there more than we do, but that's not going to make me feel much better when I can't take anyone to visit my babies. I have a feeling before this is all over, I will have a few strong words with whoever is in charge.

Okay, I'm finished whining for now. Sometimes, you just have to vent...

As die-hard Tar Heel fans, here's something I never thought I'd here myself say..."we love Duke, we love Duke, we love Duke!"

Ode to Duke's nurses - Angels among us

We are so sad to be leaving Duke today for Durham Regional and leaving the wonderful nursing staff who have taken such good care of our babies. We've gotten to know a few of their primary nurses well as we see them almost everyday. Noel, Gina, and Brenda have been wonderful. They have taken to our babies like they were their own. We are so grateful for such kind and loving people to be there for our babies when we couldn't be. There are others whose names I don't know but whose faces always brought great comfort and security knowing they were there. My dad says that he prays for the nurses at every change of shift. I thought this was such a beautiful idea.

There's an old song by Alabama that I have always loved:
"Angels Among Us"

I was walking home from school
on a cold winter day.
Took a shortcut through the woods,
and I lost my way.
It was getting late,
and I was scared and alone.
But then a kind old man
took my hand and led me home.
Mama couldn't see him,
but he was standing there.
And I knew in my heart,
he was the answer to my prayers.

Chorus
Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live,
to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love.

When life held troubled times,
and had me down on my knees.
There's always been someone there
to come along and comfort me.
A kind word from a stranger,
to lend a helping hand.
A phone call from a friend,
just to say I understand.
And ain't it kind of funny
that at the dark end of the road.
Someone lights the way
with just a single ray of hope.

Chorus

They wear so many faces,
show up in the strangest places.
To guide us with their mercy,
in our time of need.

Chorus

To guide us with a light of love.

I truly believe there are angels among us. Some of them, we can't see. They are those beings created specially by God to do his bidding and serve His purpose. They have appeared through time to teach, to guide, to save or to exclaim the goodness, mercy and love of God. There are also human angels, in the most literal sense of the definition of the word. Coming from a word that means "messenger", God's human angels are also there when we need them - to love, to care, to comfort, and to be tangible reminders of God's love for us. We have been so blessed to be surrounded by so many angels, both, I believe, from heaven and from earth, and we are so grateful.

On the road...

Abigial and Natalie are once again on the move! Their first road trip took place this evening as they were transferred from Duke to Durham Regional's Special Care Nursery. They moved over between 9:30 and 10pm. We are excited about the move since it means they are believed to be stable enough to not need the intensive care they have been getting. Their goal now is to feed and grow. However, we are actually quite sad that we are leaving Duke. They have been great to us and we were rather used to the place. It felt comfortable. Now, we have to learn a new system with new rules and new nurses. I'm sure it will be fine, but change is always hard - even sometimes when it's good.

The girls have had a great last few days. Poppy was here Thursday-Sunday for a visit. It was nice for him not to have to peak and run. We actually spent a lot of quality time with the girls. After a disastrous road trip from NYC that involved her car's engine dying, numerous tows trucks, a hotel stay and a rental car, Aunt Kimmy finally made in to NC nearly 24 hours later than expected. But, all was forgotten when she was able to be the first family member to hold Natalie. She was excited about holding her namesake for the first time. After patiently waiting nearly 3 days, Poppy had his time with Natalie too. Of course, Kimberly held Abby for her first time too and even had the privilege of changing a poopy diaper. It was one of the fun ones that keeps on going after you take off the diaper! Speaking of diapers - Abby and her chubby self have moved up to the next size of diapers. I think the nurses were tired of changing her bedding all the time. Kimberly has also brought them tiny little NICU approved shirts for them to wear that snap in the front. She dressed them up and they are just adorable.

Here are the stats for the last few days:
Natalie - Nat has been receiving a calorie boost to her food for a few days now to help her gain weight. She seems to have stalled out a bit.
Fri - 1057g
Sat - 1084g
Sun - 1113g
Mon - 1106g

Abby - Abby has been very busy learning to eat. I found out that she did NOT actually have her first bottle without me on Thursday as I reported. They did what's called "nipple feeding" They take the nipple top and let her suck on it while they squeeze milk into the open end as she sucks it down. I think it must be harder to suck the whole bottle because of the pressure or something so this is a stepping stone. She did great with it. When I found out she didn't have the bottle, I left a request to wait for me. Unfortunately, the nurse Saturday morning misunderstood the note and gave Abby her first bottle early Sat morning. So, I missed it after all. She reported she did very well. I tried to give her a bottle about 3pm Sat afternoon, but she was too sleepy and just fell asleep. They try either a bottle or nipple feeding at least once, maybe twice a day. It takes a lot of energy for them (they have to get out of the isolette of course) so they don't want to tire her out. So, far it doesn't seem to be a problem as she continues to fatten up.
Fri - 1324g
Sat - 1356g
Sun - 1382g (3lbs, 1 oz)
Mon - 1398g

I am currently in Brooklyn with Kimberly, but will be returning Thursday. I will probably start spending more and more time with the girls working on breastfeeding, the bottles, and nipple feeding. I will probably start trying to "lick and learn" with Natalie when I get home. It's time to really work on fattening her up. Ben is already doing a great job playing single dad and taking care of them. All we have to do now is continue to feed and grow (and avoid NEC and any other evil bug) and they'll be home before we know it!

Another good day

Today is another good day. It's a tie today for who gets the gold star. Natalie has moved on up - or down - depending on how you look at it. She has joined Abigail in the TCN. She's doing very, very well. Abby receives a star for doing so well with Occupational Therapy (OT). They tried her on a bottle to see how she did. I'm told she did very well. I wasn't there since no one told me they were going to try it. I was a little annoyed, well, actually, quite a bit annoyed, because I wanted to see her take her first bottle. Oh, well. I guess since most parents can't be there at the drop of a hat they don't think about letting them know. In general the nurses are really good at keepsake type things. They made a special point to give us their first little hospital bracelets. They also gave us Abby's little tiny blood pressure cuff for her baby book. She's outgrown it and moved to #2 now! So, I guess I can't be that mad. I will make a point of leaving a note with OT about calling for Natalie's first try. we also have a note for the nurses to hold on Natalie's first real bath because we want to do it.

Speaking of baths...Abigail is once again squeaky clean. Daddy gave her a bath tonight with Poppy and Mommy looking on. This time instead of a real baby tub, we just used a squarish, pink basin. It is now her very own. She did really great this time and barely cried at all. It totally poops her out though. She is so tired and sluggish after and falls sound asleep. Daddy said he just loved being able to hold her so much and look her in the face. Maybe he'll say a few words about it (hint, hint, Daddy).

Their weights are in:
Nat:
Wed night - 1056g
Thurs. night - 1063g (2lb 5.5 oz)

Abby:
Wed. - 1239g
Thurs. - 1297g
(2 lb 13 3/4 oz)

The "Perfect" Mommy Moment

I think most mothers-to-be day dream about the birth of their child. We fantasize about that movie-perfect moment when our water breaks, and we wake our husbands up in the middle of the night with a gentle, "it's time, honey". In our weaker moments we fear the pain and wonder if we can handle it; in our rational moments we know better than to think about it; and in our super-mom moments we are certain that we will be the mom that goes through labor in 2 hours with minimal pain, no tearing, and without breaking a sweat. The moment I think moms (and maybe dads too) reflect on the most is that magical moment when they hand you your baby, either still slimy, mad, and wailing or bundled, warm and happy. Moms tease their husbands about whether they will cry (of course they will) and have no doubt they will flood with tears of joy. A mother-to-be imagines that instant when she sees her baby and her heart swells with love, joy, and maternal bliss and bonding. Most mothers can tell you exactly what they felt the moment they first saw their baby.

The hardest thing about pre-mature birth and NICU life is having one's fantasy blown out the window and the disconnect between mom and baby. At 26 weeks, there was nothing about me ready to give birth. My body wasn't ready and my babies certainly weren't. I never had the chance to whisper, "it's time, Ben" or struggle through labor pains. I never even had labor pains - a few Braxton Hicks, but nothing painful. Delivery was a breeze. I just had to lay there. Because the girls were so little and needed immediate support, the doctor didn't even lift them over the curtain for me to see. There were no tears - of pain or joy. There was no instant bonding. It felt like I'd given birth, but had nothing to show for it. But, surely, I thought, all the expected emotion would come later - when I could see them.

It was at least 5 hours later when I first saw my children. Everyone else had seen them: Ben, my mom, dad, step-mother, in-laws, and sister. I was wheeled in to the side of Natalie's isolette. She was so small...and dark...and wrinkly. She was also attached to a zillion monitors that dinged and beeped in a cacophony of strange sounds and lights. I was hard to even see her face with the ventilator and all the tape holding it in place. My sister warned me that they were very small, but I was prepared for that. I wasn't as surprised by their size as by the lack of emotion I felt seeing them. As a nanny, I had fallen in love with a number of children. I loved these kids with all my soul. With the depth of love I had for children that were not even my own, I was certain the love I felt for my own children would surpass anything I could even imagine. I had read of moms not bonding with their babies right away, but as much as I loved kids, I knew that would never be me. But, I never imagined having to love my children through the glass of a life-saving cocoon that kept them distant from me - not just physically, but emotionally as well. To be so close to them, yet so far away at the same time...it is the hardest part of NICU life.

Holding Natalie at 10 days old was the first time I really felt like a Mother. Even then though, still on the vent and lying against my chest, I couldn't really see her face and gaze into her eyes. Abby wasn't able to be held until she was over a month old. She was then on CPAP and had even more of her face covered. Seeing her face was completely out of the question. As the girls have gotten bigger little by little and more and more stable, we have been able to do more things for them. We can change their diapers, hold them more, and even just touch them more. And, finally, finally, I had that "perfect" Mommy Moment.

Last Thursday, July 12, I preparing to introduce Abby to breastfeeding. Prior to this, every time I had held her, it was through Kangaroo Care - meaning I held her against my bare skin as she snuggled on my chest. As I mentioned before, you can't see the baby's face this way. This time, however, she was swaddled in blankets with just her little head showing and her little hands sticking up near her face. She was breathing on her own so the only thing on her face was her feeding tube - a small tube in her nose. She looked exactly like the babies on TV look when the nurse hands the mommy the baby for the first time. And - it happened. The Mommy Moment - the moment I'd been waiting for since I found out I was pregnant. I held her in my arms and looked down at her, and it was as if I was seeing her for the first time. Her big eyes stared back up at me, searching my face, (I hoped, in recognition). Tears filled my eyes. I had my little baby in my arms, and she was absolutely beautiful. It was everything any mother had ever dreamed about. It was everything I had dreamed about.

In the end, I still had to put Abigail back in her little "glass mansion". I wanted to scoop her up and take her home. Once more, I had to tuck her in, whisper "I love you", and leave her behind. I joke a little about being a parent without any responsibility. I can stay up late piddling around and sleep as late as I want in the morning. I can go anywhere I want, whenever I want without car seats and strollers in tow. I don't have to change diapers or feed babies or wake up in the middle of the night. We are parents without babies. But, by missing out on the responsibility, we miss out on the joy too. I can't hold my babies whenever I want because it might stress them out and cause them to lose weight. I can't even hold both of them in the same day without going home to take a shower in between. I have an empty crib and drawers full of clothes that they are still too small to wear. My babies are not just in two different isolettes, right now they are in two completely different rooms and it's a juggling act to spend "equal" time with each of them. Natalie and Abigail are two months old and we still don't have a picture of them together or a family picture of all four of us. So far, being a mommy is nothing like I thought it would be. I love them with all my heart, but when I have to leave them behind, I can go home and almost forget they are real. I ache for the day when I can take care of my babies. I ache to hold them all I want and snuggle them together. I want to see them without any wires or tubes. I want to be there when they cry so I can comfort and soothe them. I am so thankful everyday for the wonderful nurses who take care of our girls. We are so blessed by their attentive care. But, I can't wait until I can give them the care they need and be the one to meet their needs with all the love a mother has to give.

Until the day comes when the girls come home, I will continue to love them through the windows of their isolettes. I will look for and hang on to those Mommy Moments. And when those Moments happen, I will remind myself that no matter how imperfect the beginning of their lives turned out to be, in that moment, all is as it should be.

As I Love You Through The Glass

As I love you through the glass
a tiny hand sweeps across the blanket
reaching out to me.
You lie there in the stillness
of your slumber clinging to life;
I reach inside to touch you
and you stir slightly;
I feel a tiny breath like a feather
caress my fingers
as I love you through the glass.
One eye opens
easily staring into mine;
Can you see me?
Can you feel my presence
as I love you through the glass.
I ache to hold you;
I await the moment
when you peacefully rest in my loving arms.
A silent tear rolls down my face;
I slowly turn to walk away
only to glance back one more time
as I love you through the glass.

(c) 1998 Elena Murphy All Rights Reserved

And today's Star sticker goes to...

Natalie!!! Today she came off her nasal canula and is breathing on her own!! Go Natalie! She has been doing really well all day. When I called in about 9pm, the nurse said she's had a few desats, but she's generally doing very well. Her weight was down a bit. Sunday night she weighed 973g. As soon as she hits 1000g again, she'll take a trip to the TCN to join her sister.

Abby's report was also very good tonight. Her weight last night was 1150g so she continues to gain. The nurse said she had managed to wiggle herself sideways in her bed, and then fell fast asleep. I say - the girls will be crawling before they come home! I had some more special time with Abby today. We both took a nap while she kangarooed. I tried a little Lick and Learn today as well, but she wasn't very interested. She kept her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. That's one of the cues she doesn't want to play. The other thing she does is actually purse her lips together. That's actually very cute to see. So, we'll try again tomorrow and see how it goes.

Grandma has a new name!!

So Ben's mom has picked a new grandma name. Personally, I think it's darling. She will now be known as Ya-yai. It's a combination of the Thai words for grandmother. Ya is the name for the paternal grandmother and Yai the name for the maternal grandmother. So, technically, the girls will be saying "grandma-grandma" and mixing up the paternal/maternal thing, but whatever. Ya-yai sounds better than just Ya. For those a little slow on the draw, Ben's mom is from Thailand - thus the Thai name:-) I think it's a very cute name. It's simple to say too, and it may just be the first grandma/grandpa name the girls are able to pronounce.

Grandparents Rule!

It was a big weekend for Abby. Saturday, Nanny and Poppy were visiting and got to hold Abby for the first time! It was very exciting for them, and I'm sure Abby enjoyed it as well. She did really great - all wrapped up in her little blankets. After a while, she even fell asleep. She had a few desats at first with Poppy, but she had just finished eating and sometimes there is a little reflux. The further away in time she was from her feeds, the better she did. The only down side was that with Abby and Natalie in separate rooms, we can no longer cheat and have 4 people in the room. They only allow 2 visitors per bedside. Before, technically we would send in 2 to each, 4 total, but in reality, we were all over the place breaking the rules:-) So, Poppy and Nanny had to hold her separately. Fortunately, we video taped it for everyone to see.

Sunday, Ben's parents came to visit. Grandpa and Ya-yai both had a chance to hold Abby. As before, she was a dream. Ben also held her all bundled up. He has kangarooed her before, but never held her so he could see her face. The pictures are just darling.

Poor Natalie has been quite neglected. Actually, Abby has just been doing better and has more weight on her. It's quite stressful for them to be moved all around and it can cause them to lose weight by expending extra calories. As Natalie gets bigger, she can be held more too.

It was a great day all around. There are pictures and videos posted on the picture site. Check them out and enjoy!

A Few Good Days...

I know, I know...I haven't updated in a few days. Sorry folks.

Everything is going very well. The girls are doing so well. It's been a busy few days with several visitors and assessments for Abby. In the news...

Natalie:
Natalie is finally off the CPAP and on the nasal canula since Wednesday morning. She is doing great with almost no desats or braidys. Her feeds are increasing daily and she;s tolerating them as she should. She wasn't gaining a lot of weight for several days. I think it was probably due to her failing around. She was practically crawling forward in her bed. But, she seems happier on the nasal canula and seems to be resting better. She's was also moved down to another room - room 7 - which is like a pre-TCN. There are 3 babies to 1 nurse just like the TCN. It means she's very stable, but just not quite big enough. But, her weight has started going up a little so she's getting closer.
Wed - 950g
Thurs - 957g
Fri - 1001g
Sat - 1000g (2lbs, 3 oz)

So Natalie's made the 1000g club! If she maintains it the next few days she can join Abby in the TCN. We are so proud of her!

Abby:
Abigail has been very busy. Where to start...Well, she took several trips this week. Earlier in the week she and Natalie were moved from Room 1 to triage. After only a day or two, she moved to TCN. She's been doing very well there with all her new neighbors.

Thursday was a very big day. Abby and I had a consult with a Lactation Consultant. We praticed what is called "Lick and Learn" or in fancy speak, "non-nutritional nursing". In other words, it's a "dry run" for nursing. She practices latching and sucking, but isn't supposed to get any milk (I pump first). However, there were actually a few drops that she managed not to choke on. I'm not sure if she swallowed them or spit them out. She did very, very, very well. The LC and the nurse were both very impressed. She's a natural! They thought she would probably do very well with breast feeding. She stayed very alert and interested during the session (about 15 minutes). When she started getting a little drowsy, I switched her over to Kanagroo Care. She went right to sleep and Abby and Mommy had a little rest.

Friday, we did another L & L. She wasn't as interested this time. She actually started crying a little. So, we tried the paci instead, and she loved that. The speech therapist was there for this session to evaluate her. She was pleased and Abby received her first chart of "Building Blocks to Feeding" with her first few stickers. She's well on her way.

Friday was also busy with visitors. Aunt Reagan came to visit and we went to lunch. Then my friend from UNC, Jacquelyn, came to see them for the first time. I've been trying to teach the girls good manners about opening their eyes to say hi when people visit, but they aren't listening very well yet. Oh, well. You know kids. They never want to perform on cue!

Abby's weight is finally progressing. The nurse was actually concerned that my milk was watery. The LC took samples and ran tests to see how caloric it is. Turns out it's VERY caloric. My hind milk, the last and fattest milk to come out was 35 calories an ounce. That's very, very good. I was a little disappointed to be honest. The cure for low calorie milk is a high-fat diet. I was really looking forward to those frosty and french fry binges!
Wed - 1081g
Thurs - 1095g
Fri - 1122g
Sat - 1136g (~2lbs 8oz!!!)

So, all is well with the girls. I'll try to post some more pictures soon. They are really getting cute now that they have weight on them!

A Comment on Comments

In case you didn't know...you can leave a comment by clicking on the word "comments" at the bottom of each post. The page that appears has a large square where you can write a note. You must also click on "other" - where I'm guessing it asks for some information, or anonymous. If you click on anonymous, be sure to put your name at the end of the post. Otherwise we can't tell who left the note.

We really enjoy reading the messages left. I actually scroll back through occasionally to see if there are any new ones. It makes us feel so good to see tangible proof that people are reading and checking on our girls. Of course, you don't have t o leave a comment, but I thought I'd mention it since some of the less technologically savvy (like my dad, sorry dad) have probably not even noticed the option.

Moving on up...

The last two days have been busy. Late Tuesday evening Abby was moved from the ICN to the TCN (Transitional Care Nursery). This is a great step for her. The TCN is for babies who are more stable and need less monitoring. The nurses handle 3 babies instead of just two. She is still doing a great job breathing on her own. Tomorrow I'm hoping to meet with the lactation consultant to start what is called "Lick and Learn". She's not ready to learn to nurse, but it's a way to introduce her to the breast.

Although the move is a great step for Abby, it now means that Abby and Natalie are separated for the first time. While it is not only a logistical issue now, it's also a little sad. However, hopefully Natalie will use this an incentive to work hard to join her sister in TCN. She has moved to the nasal canula as of 9 am this morning, and is doing quite well. She needs to maintain it to join Abby (no CPAP babies in TCN). She also needs to reach and maintain 1000g. She is currently at 950g so she's getting close. If she gains the desired 30ish g a day, it will still be at least 3 or 4 more days. If we are lucky, she will make it by the end of the weekend. Oh, Natalie also had her PIC (IV) line removed today which makes her eligible for a bath.

In other news...

The girls has another eye exam Tuesday. This time they found mild ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity) in both girls. Fortunately, this should not affect their eyesight in any way. This is very good news.

Mommy and Daddy have just been hanging out and enjoying our remaining time together sans kids. We've visited my mom and Mema and some friends. We also visited Pamplin Park, a Civil War Memorial Site on 85N almost to Petersburg (highly recommended). I'm enjoying sleeping late and bumming around. I do this guilt-free since I figure my day is coming. I figure I'll enjoy it while I can. I'm also working on the girls scrapbooks, which has been really fun. It's hard to believe it's already been 8 1/2 weeks since the girls were born. If all goes well, they'll be home in only 6 more weeks!

Not for the faint at heart...

If you have a vivid imagination and a weak stomach, you may want to skip this one.

Yesterday, Abby had the biggest projectile poop! After being held by Ben for over an hour, I was changing her diaper. I had her little bottom up in the air and squiiiirt - poop straight out hitting the end of the isolette 6-8 inches away. I thought it was pretty funny. Ben had to walk to the other side of the room. Welcome to parenthood, darling! I do have to say the best part was being able to leave the majority of the mess for the nurse to clean up. I did clean Abby up and put some clean blankets under her, and of course, put on a new diaper. I would have cleaned it up more, but I really didn't know where to put the dirty stuff. Fortunately Abby was due for a new bed anyway. So, even thought I really didn't know where to put the mess, it was nice not to worry about it. I figure I have my fair share of dirty clothes, blankets, and maybe even walls to clean up!

Happy News!

Happy News today! Abby is off her nasal canula and breathing entirely on her own! This is very exciting news. We also can't wait to see her little face without anything attached to it. Saturday night she weighed in at 1060g. She's doing a great job growing. She also enjoyed Daddy holding her for over an hour yesterday. Tomorrow, we start the kanagroo care study so Mommy and Abby will have some special time together.

Natalie is still hanging on to her CPAP. Her weight is holding just above 2 lbs - Sunday night she was at 940g. She keeps moving around a lot and that's probably costing her some calories. She's doing really great on her CPAP, no major desats or braidys but we'd still like to see her take that next step to the nasal canula.

DeNile is not a river in Egypt...

...it's an art form! Which Ben and I have been accused of perfecting - especially me! It's come to my attention that it's been said that we have a serious case of denial when it comes to the health of our girls. I say, yes! And more power to us!

Honestly, it is true that we have been especially optimistic about the girls since we first found out about the Twin to Twin Transfusion. I'm not sure if we were in a state of shock and unable to think about the possible outcomes or if we just had faith everything would be okay. I think it actually depended on what moment it was. There were nights when we would pray for our babies and I would think about the choices we might have to make. I imagined trying to choose between our children and actually deciding who would live and who would die. It was unimaginable, and I cried many tears over the very thought. Then I would just put it out of my mind and believe everything would work out. To think otherwise was excruciating. I think God gave the human mind the ability to exist in denial so we could survive the hardest times. There's only so much stress and emotional trauma a person can take before one collapses in a worthless heap. When one needs to remain strong to face what must be faced, denial may be the only way to go.

Also, in my defense... when the girls were really sick at about two weeks old, I honestly had no idea. Hmm, that doesn't sounds like much of a defense. The defense part is that the doctors didn't TELL us things were so bad. We thought it was all just part of normal premature baby stuff. I did learn however, that next time they seem sick, I will ASK how worried I should be.

So maybe we don't come across as completely rooted in reality when it comes to our children. But hey, name a parent who doesn't think their child is the prettiest, cutest, smartest, most adorable kid ever. Reality and parenthood don't always go hand in hand. Sometimes living a little in a little fantasy world is good for the soul.

Friday

The girls continue to do well. Abby is doing extremely well on the nasal canula. She has been on room air most of the time. Her feeds are increasing to 12.2ml 2 hours on/ 2 hours off. Remember, that means 24.4 ml total over the two hours, then two hours to digest. It's working too, because she is pooping and peeing well and growing! Last night she was 1044g. Now that she is maintaining 1000g, Abby and I are going to be involved in study doing kangaroo care. Since we are doing kangaroo care anyway, we might as well help science!

Natalie is also doing well - as her CPAP. They have tried a few times to put her on the nasal canula but she keeps desating and braiding down when they try. So, she goes back on the CPAP and is happy as a lark. Maybe in a day or two she'll be happy on the nasal canula. On the good side, her feeds are increasing. At 4pm today, she will be on 7.6ml 2on/2 off (15.2ml total). Her urine output is good and we've been privy to a few blow-outs! She's weighing in at 911g - just above 2 lbs.

They both also have a condition called Hydronephrosis, officially "the distinction and dilation of the renal pelvis, usually caused by obstruction of the free flow of urine from the kidney". It's not a huge deal, except the back flow of urine in the kidney can cause an infection. So, they are being given oral antibiotics just in case that happens.

They have both been practicing with their pacifiers which are nearly as big as half their heads. They especially give them to them while being feed so they can associate getting a full feeling with sucking. Hopefully soon, we can start introducing the bottle and breast. That's a big step towards going home. The nurse also mentioned that they could share a bed once they each learn how to regulate their temperatures. That usually begins to happen around 1400g. Hopefully, that will happen in about 2 weeks if they continue to gain well. Soon they will progress actively to the eating and growing stage and they will be that much closer to coming home!

Rub-a-dub-dub...Abby's in the tub!!

Tuesday, July 3, was great! The girls are seven weeks old, AND Abby had her first real bath! The removal of her PIC or IV line made her eligible for a real water bath complete with little rubber toy (although not a ducky). For the first time, they took off all her wires and attachments - everything except her nasal canula to help her breathe. It was the first time we had ever seen her unattached. Abby is growing so much, and she was so beautiful. The nurse set up everything including big lights to warm her while she was in the bath. Daddy filled the tub, and then in went little Abby. It was so much fun - for Mommy and Daddy anyway. Abby wasn't as thrilled. She cried her little tiny baby cry - and I'm embarrassed to say, Mommy laughed. It was just too cute. Mommy washed while Daddy videoed and took pictures (see picture and video site). Thanks, Daddy. Mommy was so excited to do the first bath. Daddy gets the next one. Abby's first bath included washing all over and even washing her hair. Her first bath was even complete with poopy in the bath. Don't worry - we used clean water to wash her hair! Much thanks to Nurse Gina who helped us - especially in holding her.

I absolutely loved giving Abby a bath. It may have been the best thing so far. I think because I could see her face while I was bathing her. When we hold the girls, they snuggle against our chest and we really can't see their faces. During the bath, we could really get a good look at her. After her bath, she was all wrapped up in a blanket and I could hold her just like a regular little baby. It was wonderful. I could have held her like that all day. Unfortunately, we had to put her back to check her vitals and warm her back up. (She did cool down a little during the bath.) After she was snuggled back in, she was so cute. She was also very tired. She fell asleep pretty quickly and you could tell it was one of those deep, floppy-arm type sleeps. It was well deserved. Abby did great at her first bath.

Unfortunately, we can only give her a bath once a week. So, we will eagerly anticipate next week's bath. Also, hopefully Natalie will have her IV line removed soon and she can have a turn. I'm sure she can't wait!

Grandpa and Abby are in cohoots!

My Dad and Mom went to see the babies this past weekend and took this great picture. I think Grandpa has a new buddy. Tell me Dad, what are you and Abby planning?

Catching up...

We've been away a few days. Ben and I enjoyed a weekend FINALLY taking some things to my mom's house to store in the basement. We've been trying to get it there for two months, but things kept happening - like babies being born! But it's finally there. Thanks to mom for having a basement with ample storage room.

We then traveled to our friends' new house in Newland, NC - near Blowing Rock. Kevin and Maria are friends from Johns River Valley Camp and hosted our other camp friends as well. As always, it was great fun - complete with a campfire in the woods. From there we hopped on the parkway in Linville and stopped at Linville Falls for an impromptu hike to the waterfalls. It was a lovely weekend, but tiring. Ben promptly took a nap when we finally arrived home!

We haven't seen the girls this weekend, but we have called to check. Sometime Saturday, Abigail hit 1000 grams! As of tonight, she is back at 989grams. But she's still above 2 lbs. Natalie is very quickly catching up and has also hit the 2 lb mark! Tonight, she was 919 grams. My, my they are getting fat!!!

In the past few days, both girls have gone back on CPAP tp have a little rest from the nasal canula. Oh, I finally learned what CPAP stands for - Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. It does just what it says. The girls weren't peeing enough too, so they increased the laxis.

On Friday we had a sit down with the doctor and nurse practitioner. We went from head to bottom with each system. Basically, the girls are doing very well. They are exactly where they would expect them to be considering their gestational age and age at birth. The plan from this point out is to feed and grow - and learn to breathe. The biggest potential hurdle is a dreaded condition called NEC. It's the black plague of premature babies. It's essentially the degeneration of the gut tissue. They don't know what causes it or really even how to treat it effectively. A baby can get it in any form from mild to severe. The doctor said a baby can go from healthy to death in 12 hours. It really is the plague. The next four weeks or so are the most critical and when it would be most likely. SO - our new motto is -"no NEC, no NEC, no NEC". Everyone together now..."no NEC, No NEC, No NEC". Very good. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

We continue to look for continued growth and strengthening lungs. Thank you so much for all your prayers. They really are working. Natalie and Abigail are getting stronger every day.