The $134,000 Question

So, the big question...What DOES a stay-at-home mom do all day?? Working men everywhere are dying to know. Recently, "somebody" determined a SAHM's salary would be $134,000 for all she does. Here's how I earn mine on a typical (non-doctor visit) day.

We'll start at just before midnight...

11:45pm - prepare for 12am feed
Pull out bottles and put in water to warm. Draw meds. Tube Abby (worst part). Comfort crying baby. Lay Abby down. Start gavage feed.

12am - 1am Feed girls
Pick up Nat. Give meds. Start bottle and hope she eats. After about 20 minutes, she quits. Put down. Take break. Try again. Repeat as needed. Somewhere during the hour, pause Abby's feed and push her meds.

1am-1:30-45am
Pump, pump, pump while watching shows on DVR. Current favorites: Ramsy's Kitchen Nightmares; Top Chef; America's Iron Chef and America's Next Iron Chef; Meercat Manor; Will and Grace

1:45-2:45am
Variations: continue to watch tv; try to blog; surf net; attempt to do paperwork (bills, thank you notes, etc) and realize I'm too tired; clean bottles, nipples, and kitchen; make bottles for rest of night; try to go to sleep before 3am feed - usally big mistake since I can barely drag myself out of bed.

2:45-4am
repeat 12am feed with the variation of usually falling asleep while holding and trying to feed girls. Also, add extra frustration of Natalie being too sleepy to eat in the middle of the night

4ish - 8:45am
Sleep

8:45am
Try to drag myself out of bed for 9am feeding. Usually fail. Success by 9:30 or 10m.

9am (if lucky) really 10am - 11am
Untube Abby; Prepare bottles, meds, etc. Feed Nat. Nat quits. Put Nat down. Feed Abby. Abby quits. Put Abby down. Feed Nat. Repeat until bottles are finished or one hour passes - whichever comes first.

Day now started, usually an hour behind. Girls awake. I need very much to pump. Put girls on floor - hope they play while pumping for about 30 minutes.

12 NOON - Mommy's favorite time of day. Daddy comes home for lunch!! If on schedule, help feed at 12:00. If off schedule, Daddy plays with girls while mommy pumps (if I haven't been able to). Try to start 12pm feed at 12:30 to get back on schedule. Repeat feeding schedule with Ben's help.

1:30ish - play with girls

2:30ish - probably need to pump again. Girls either went to sleep after lunch and are now up or have fallen asleep and I can pump.

3pm - try to get back on schedule. Prepare bottles, meds, feed Nat; feed abby; feed nat; feed abby, etc.

4ish - 6ish - hopefully find time to play with girls and pump.

5:45 - prepare for 6pm feed.

6pm - Ben walks in to save the day! Feed girls

7ish- 8:45 - play; pump; eat something

8:45pm - prepare for feed

9pm - Feed girls

10pm - Ben to bed; girls to bed;

10ish-11:45pm - Mommy pumps; pretends to do paperwork, but too tired and usually just surfs web; tries to post, but finds it hard to be clever since I'm too tired.

11:45pm - Print girls' schedule (feeds, meds, charts to record amounts taken) for next few days and Start all over.

It's amazing how quickly the two hours pass between the end of one feed and start of another. In fact - it's 11:50pm, and time to start the day...

I'm still waiting for my check...