Birthday Bust

Well, Friday was the girls 2nd birthday. Compared to last year's hoopla, this year was pretty anti-climatic and well, rather disappointing.

We had good intentions and big plans. Ben took the day off and Auntie was due in Thursday night. We were headed to the zoo in Asheboro and then to my mom's for a joint birthday bash. (Mema's birthday is May 18th and my sister's May 26.)

Things started looking iffy on Wednesday when Abby suddenly took ill with runny poops and throwing up. She was also running a fever and was basically pathetic. She slept most of Wednesday and Thursday. By late Thursday, we were pretty certain the Zoo was out, but we thought we might salvage the trip to mom's if Abby was feeling better. Our biggest concern was that Friday would be about the same time Natalie might start getting sick. We were going to have to wait anyway since my sister, who realized around noon that the flight she thought left at 9:30PM actually left at 9:30 AM, wouldn't arrive until 10:30 Thursday morning, so we decided to wait and see.

Things were looking better Friday morning. Abby was more herself and things seemed promising. I took the girls with me to pick up Auntie while Ben packed some things at home. On the way, I stopped to get biscuits and sweet tea at Bojangles. While in the drive through line, Natalie threw up everywhere.

After cleaning her up and finally picking up Auntie, we were home and tried to decide what to do. We finally decided to give it a day, see how everyone was the next day, and go then if we could.

I was pretty bummed by this time. The girls were not themselves and their birthday was not shaping up to much of anything at all. I decided we should have a little birthday tea party (like Daddy did last year) and Ben picked up a cake while the girls napped. Our little party was cut short when Natalie threw up the banana she was eating. (I have it in pictures and on video,but decided to spare you all).

I lost count, but Natalie threw up at least 8 times between the Bojangles trip and midnight. It was so pitiful too. She was so hungry and was crying and begging for any cups or bottles she saw. She would drink like she was starving and before she was even through, she'd throw up. We tried to limit her to an ounce at a time, and then she would cry and reach for the cup. It was awful.

In the end, on Saturday, we decided Natalie should stay home (by now she was also running a fever, lethargic, and generally pitiful). I wasn't feeling so great myself, so Auntie took Abby and headed to mom's herself. We've heard since then that Abby has thrown up twice, so I'm not sure how good an idea that turned out to be. But, she no longer had a fever and seemed to be feeling okay so hopefully she is okay.

All in all, it was a pretty yucky birthday. We didn't even get a decent picture of the girls together on their birthday. I'm very sad about that. We never even pulled out the little cake Ben bought either. The only good thing is that the girls are too young to realize it's their birthday or care that it completely bombed.

I've decided that we will just have to play birthday one day next week - or maybe Saturday. We'll have a little cake party, sing happy birthday and maybe hit the Museum of Life and Science and see the bears. We'll just have to call it, "2nd Birthday, Part II".

I did take pictures of the girls at 4:09pm and 4:10pm - the times they were born. They were sleeping so they aren't very interesting, but they are kind-of cute - especially Abby with her little bum up in the air:-)

I need to do my whole "emotional mommy" post, so I'll get to that later. I'm a little too bummed to do it right now. Even so, I do want to wish Natalie and Abby a very Happy 2nd Birthday. They are truly the joys of our lives and every day is a blessing with them. Ben and I are so incredibly lucky to have our girls.



Happy Birthday Babies!

Bring Out the Party Dresses!

On May 1, we attended our first official birthday party (for another child). Our dear friend, Bean (a nickname), was turning 6 the next day. Her party was a wonderful affair in her dad's back yard complete with cardboard house painting, trampoline jumping, a water balloon toss and the most sturdy pinata I have ever seen. (It took 3 rounds of about 16 kids wacking it with a metal bat before it cracked!)

Despite my personal inclinations against anything dressy, it was actually really fun dressing the girls in their "party" dresses. My mom bought these adorable dresses and I couldn't think of any better place to wear them. I've started avoiding dressing them the same anymore because they look SO much a like now, I have a hard time telling them apart in pictures. So, for my sanity - and your - I fixed their hair differently. Natalie has the two little pig tails and Abby the pony tail and blue bow.

Most of the games were geared to the older kids, but Natalie and Abby had a great time just wandering around. Abby found a Curious George monkey in the house and attached herself to it. She carried it around most of the party. It was really funny to me since we were at Steve's house 3 times a week and she had never paid much attention to the monkey. Maybe she felt like she needed a date for the party!

I took some great pictures of the girls. It was a beautiful day and the girls looked beautiful (if I may say so:-) Enjoy!

Natalie and Abby

If you have prayers to spare...

Please send some this way ---- www.checkingonnina.blogspot.com


This is a family from my micropreemie forum. I have kept up with them through their blog above.

Just over two years ago, in March 2007, Judith gave birth to triplets at 24 weeks. They lost one little girl about three weeks later. Another daughter died unexpectedly a few months later. Their remaining daughter, Nina, is a bustling 2.2 year old and absolutely adorable.

They have been very excitedly awaiting the birth of their son - due by C-section on May 20th. After such a difficult and devastating first pregnancy, they were thrilled that everything was going along perfectly.

Saturday, at 37 weeks, their son was born - stillborn - for no obvious reasons.

Personally, I can't not even begin to imagine the anguish they are feeling. There is no rationale in this world that can explain why a mother and father must bury 3 babies in less than 2.5 years. If it were me, I would begin to question everything I knew about a loving and compassionate God.

My heart breaks for this family. I can only hope that the loving and compassionate God I do believe in will surround them with His love and peace and, well, something, whatever will help them to survive this tragedy as well.

It's moments like these I'm am once again faced with the uncertainty of why we were so blessed while others suffer so much. Why have my Natalie and Abby survived and thrived while others have died and struggle so much? I could tell you a story every day of the lives, losses and trials of the brave moms and kids on my preemie forum. For those who know us and think we are so brave and have endured so much, I assure you what we have been through is NOTHING compared to many, many others. I wish I had an answer to my question. The best I can figure so far is that sometimes life just sucks. AND it's just really unfair. I could wax theological about the presence of sin in the world and how suffering was never God's plan, etc., but mostly I think the answer boils down to - life just ain't fair.

Please remember this precious family, and the families of the many who have lost little ones, in your thoughts and prayers.



Please remember this family in your praters

Happy Mothers Day!

Just wanted to say how lucky and blessed I am to be the husband to such a wonderful wife who is also a great mother. Natalie and Abigail, your mother is awesome! Johelen, you are the glue that holds our family together, which is just a nice way of saying you're stuck with us. Happy Mothers Day Wifey, I love you!

And to my mom, I am very thankful for all the love you gave me and Jeff and Jan as we grew up. I love you very much!

Happy Weigh In

I'm happy to report that the girls are still gaining weight! I weighed them today and was very pleased.

Natalie weighed in at 20 lbs, 6.5 oz. Abby was 20lbs, 12.5 oz.

Yea!!!

SICC Report

Our evaluation and appointment at Duke's Special Infant Care Center (SICC) went very well - and very long. We arrived for our 9am meeting on time (for once for me) and rolled back into our driveway at 3pm - just in time for me to jump into the truck and make my 3pm dentist appointment (only 3 minutes away.) I'm honestly not sure what we did for 6 hours there - it didn't seem that long, but we did get a lot accomplished.

Here's the run down:

Weight & Height

Natalie: 20 lbs 2 oz! 32.5 inches.

Abby: 20 lbs and 32.5 inches.

We were pretty excited about this! Finally - 20 pounds and counting!

Development:
According to the Bailey Scale of Infant Development, Abby and Natalie both test at their adjusted age (20.5 months) in nearly every category: cognitive, receptive language and fine motor. As expected, their verbal expression was not as high and they tested between 16 and 17 months. Ironically, Natalie actually tested higher than Abby. Normally Abby is the chatterbox and Natalie more quiet. I will say that Natalie has come a long way int he past month. She has really started babbling and trying to repeat words you give her. Abby does more "jargon"; baby-speak in sentence form. For instance, she will point to something and say, "abba do dee doo?" She is clearly asking a question; the inflection of the words and tone is right, we just can't understand it. I have more to say on their language later, but this delay wasn't a surprise and in fact, it's documentation is somewhat welcome since we will now test to qualify for speech therapy for them both.

I do have a few words about their test results. I was a bit surprised they didn't test at or even above their actual age in some areas - especially language comprehension. According to some of the other developmental scales they test much better in several areas. I'm not sure exactly how the Bailey is different. It seemed to me they didn't even try to see how far above their adjusted age they could go. For instance, they had to identify three body parts and three pieces of clothing. "Where is your nose, your hair, your shirt, your pants?" Once they did that, the tester moved on. She never checked to see how many they could do. It just so happens that they can point to at least 15 body parts. Obviously, that alone doesn't jump them to a next level, but there are many things they can do that they never looked at.

I'm not sure what all that means, really. Maybe they were just trying to see if they were where they were supposed to be, and not the limits of what they can do. I don't know. At least we know they are on track for their adjusted age, which is really quite remarkable for 26.1 weekers and we are very, very proud of them.

More on the verbal expression ie. talking...
As I said, we were fully expecting some delays here. The girls really have made tremendous strides in the past few months - especially Natalie. But, they still don't really have very many words for 2 year olds. It's hard to say why. Maybe because they were premature, maybe because they are twins, maybe they would have talked later no matter what. Honestly, if they hadn't been premature, I probably wouldn't be that worried about it, especially since it seems every week they say more and more. But, since they are preemies, I see no reason not to use very resource available and help them as much as possible.

So, we have spoken to our CDSA case worker to set them up for evaluation for speech therapy. It just so happens that they stop adjusting for prematurity at age 2 which obviously works in our favor. Testing at 16 months isn't too bad if you are 20.5 months old. It's only a 4 month delay. But, if you tack on the extra 3.5 months, then the delay becomes nearly 8 months and that is certainly worth addressing. Therefore, we have evaluations coming up soon, and will begin Speech Therapy sometime in the next month or two.

Along with Speech Therapy, we will soon also begin Physical Therapy for Abby. I have recently been concerned about the way she seems to turn her right foot in when she is running. She also throws her arms back a bit when running. I had also noticed she seemed a little tight in her thighs; she has a lot of resistance when changing her diaper, for instance. So, I had PT look at her. She and the other doctors agreed that she seems to use her foot and arms to compensate when she starts to lose her balance. This likely indicates that her trunk muscles are not as strong as they should be. It also turns out they both have extremely flat feet ( one of the few things inherited from me - sorry girls). This causes them to "flap" their feet when running. You can hear it on solid surface floors that they sort-of have a clapping sound as their feet or shoes hit the floor. It's as if they aren't rolling their feet - heel, toe, heel when hey walk or run. They just slap them down flat-footed.

We've been given some exercises to help Abby with at home and the PT will help a lot as well. There is also the possibility that she will need some little braces on her lower legs to force her to keep her foot turned out the right way. It makes me sad to think of it, but I'd rather her have it done now than have problems later. I actually had a similar problem as a child and my parents were told I'd grow out of it. As a result, I have very flat feet and walk very much on the inside of my feet. It causes me a lot of pain in my ankles as well as very weak ankles which means I twist my ankles a lot, and sometimes actually fall right down. I don't want Abby to have the same problems later.

Other issues and discoveries:
The doctor felt Natalie's frequent pneumonias and both girls' reoccurring ear infections warranted further investigation. First up will be a trip to the pulmonologist for both to do some lung function testing. Premature babies are at risk for Chronic Lung Disease due to the scarring left by being on a ventilator when born. The girls have actually done very well considering they have not had any re hospitalizations since their discharge from the NICU (re-admits are very common for preemies). But, the last few months have been much more difficult, especially for Natalie. It's hard to say though how much of it is prematurity and how much is simply more exposure to other children. In any case, it's worth looking into therefore we will soon visit the pulmonoligist.

The ear infections will also warrant a visit to a specialist. Dr. G thought it appeared as if the girls had a bit of fluid in their ears and Abby's ears were especially waxy (again, sorry girls - that's a mommy thing). In light of the reoccurring ear infections and their delayed speech, an exam and opinion on ear tubes is in order.

The good news: The doctor was very pleased with their overall development and progress. She also did not seemed too concerned about their weight and I was thrilled not to get any lectures. She offered some suggestions to deal with the spitting up (which happens at least 5 times a week - maybe more). We may be giving Nutrum Junior or Bright Beginnings a try. Both are similiar to Pedisure but easier to digest and, of course, I think, more expensive and harder to get (special order from the pharmacy instead of on the shelf at Walmart or Target). We'll probably get some and give it a shot just to see if it makes a difference. It would be nice. We've given up on cleaning the carpet in their room. Now we just keep a towel spread out on the floor for them to throw up on - and to cover the already existing spots:-)

Overall it was a very good visit - if not very long. The girls were so tired. They were asleep in the car within minutes and slept when we got home until almost 6pm. It was a long day.

We are very pleased with how well the girls are doing, but the visit did offer a few eye-openers. Until now, Abby and Natalie have seemed to defy all odds and have met and exceeded all expectations. They seemed to escape the pitfalls of prematurity. It seems however, that it may be catching up with them a bit. Although flat feet and ear tubes are in no way limited to premature kids, I think we felt a bit much like we had dodged the premature bullet and our babies would continue to be pretty much perfect. We've been brought back down to earth, I think, and now face a number of the concerns many preemie parents face - including concerns over lung disease.

I think it goes to show however, how important it is for preemies to receive and continue to receive services that allow monitering for several years since it can take time for problems to crop up. As mentioned above, technically, doctors, therapists, etc. stop adjusting at age two because supposedly children are all caught up by then. Well, that's considered one of the biggest, and most annoying, myths among preemie parents. While it may be true that 36 week preemies are caught up by age 2, micropreemies are a whole different ball game. Obviously, some problems don't even begin to show up until 2 years, nevermind resolve themselves by then.

I have a feeling the next few months are going to be very busy. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I'm actually going to stop my babysitting job in the next few weeks. It kind-of breaks my heart, since the kids I watch are almost like my own and I'll miss them every day, but the girls have actually struggled more these past 5 months since I've started babysitting again. As always, it's the chicken and the egg argument, but it seems prudent to err on the side of caution. Also, the girls being sick throws a wretnch into the work plans of the kids' mother, which makes me feel just awful. So, no more work for me.

Aside from knowing I'll miss the kids so much, I'm happy we are making this move. I have felt like I never have time to play with the girls anymore the way we used to. I feel like I have been neglegent and I don't like it. I also think we are going to be pretty busy between Speech, Physical, Feeding, and Developmental Play Therapies. In between all of that, I also hope to travel some with the girls - to NY to see Auntie, to Luray to see Poppy and Nanny, and to Franklin to see Mema and Grammy. Folks, it's going to be a very busy next few months!

Happy Happy, Joy Joy!!

We have some very good weight news. It's been a really up and down month. They've basically been gaining and losing the same pound for most of this year. Just a little recap:



Natalie
01/6 - 18.6
01/13 - 18.12
01/20 - 18.14
02/09 - 17.10
02/23 - 19.2
03/03 - 19.6
03/17 - 19.1
03/25 - 18.10
04/01 - 18.15.5
and today...
04/22 - 19# 13.5!!!!


Abby
01/06 -18.12.5
01/13 -18.15
01/20 -18.11
02/09 -17.11
02/23 -19.3.5
03/03 -19.11
03/17 -19.0
03/25 -19.11
04/01 -19.3
and today
04/22 -19# 15.5!!! (the scale actually flirted with the 20 pound mark but it dropped back down - soooo close)

So, the good news obviously is that we are making progress again. After all the sickness, it was getting pretty bad. The girls have really been eating well again this past week. Once again, a few days at Ya-Ya's Feeding Boot Camp did them well and they are pudgy once more. They are both eating solids well right now. Abby has a real fondness for chicken, and both girls LOVE fruit. Pineapple and cantaloupe are huge favorites. I'm thrilled they like healthy things, but I just wish fruit had more calories. If it did, they would definitely weigh over 20 pounds.

The not as good news is that if you look at the chart, they've really only gained a little more than a pound in nearly four months. This is really not good. We have a Duke SICC appointment Tuesday, and I'm sure to hear about it there. I'm not even hoping to be anywhere near the curve, much less on it. Our saving grace might be height. They don't seem that short compared to other kids. Hopefully, we will at least make the 5% curve.

I'm really hoping that they will each be over 20 pounds by our appointment Tuesday. It will just make me feel better if they are over 20, even if it really won't make much different on the chart.

Third Time's a Charm AKA Our Easter Adventure

I know I've been quite blog-delinquent...no more excuses. Part busy - part laziness - part way too obsessed with looking up stuff about Octomom. So - no long explanations, I'll just launch into our latest adventure AKA The E.R.

The girls have been off and on sick for a while now. We all remember the 2.5 hours spent at the doctor's office in mid March to diagnosis Natalie's pneumonia and then the discovery of Abby's ear infection a few days later. So towards the end of the antibiotic, Abby started spiking a fever every other night but seemed fine during the day. I didn't think much of it since I figured they couldn't get too sick while ON an antibiotic and whatever she had was viral.

So, last Tuesday night, Abby seemed worse. She had a fever again and seemed to be throwing up more than usual. Wednesday morning, her fever was about 103 and she was lethargic and wanted to sleep all morning. So - off to the doctor. Another 2.5 hours later, it was determined what she had was viral. !!!

Thursday - We were going to leave for my mom's for Easter, but Natalie was starting to show some ickiness. She was now someone lethargic and seemed to be throwing up. No big. I figure she has what Abby had (who was now feeling much better).

Friday - Natalie seems better, so we are off to my mom's. We arrive around 5ish and all seems well. Somewhere between 8 and 9, I notice Natalie seems really hot. We check her temp. 104.2. Now, I don't panic easily. I don't even get very concerned until a fever reaches 103.5. 104 worries me a bit. My mom, who is a bit on the over-reacting side, was ready to rush her to the ER that minute. Instead, I called the nurse -line for advice and gave Natalie a cool bath and some Tylenol and Motrin. An hour later when the nurse returned my call, her fever was down and she seemed better.

Saturday - Natalie seemed much better. She was laughing and playing. They went down for a nap about 1ish. When I checked her about 4, she was burning up again. I checked her fever again. 104.8. Now, I'm concerned. After more meds, mom gives her another cool bath and I ready our things for the ER.

We spent about 3 hours at the Angel Hospital in Franklin. She had a RSV test, blood work and an X-ray. (Her fever was down to 102, btw) Everything looked good except the X-ray. Yep, you guessed it. Pneumonia. Again. Third time in three months.

So, we get a new antibiotic (at Ben's suggestion since the other failed to work twice). I take Natalie home while my mom goes to the pharmacy for me. Long story short...there's not a pharmacy in a 30 mile radius open at 7:30 on a Saturday night. So, she returns to the hospital to fill it there. They don't carry it in a liquid form. So, she called and tells me I have to bring Natalie back to the ER to get a shot. After waiting for mom to get home to watch Abby (my aunt who was watching her had already left), I headed back to the hospital. We finally returned home about 9:30.

Natalie seemed fine the next day and has been fine ever since. This time we are definitely getting a follow-up X-ray at the end of the antibiotic to make sure the pneumonia is gone. This once a month thing is getting ridiculous.

Abby is still better too, I think. She seems to have a little cold, but that seems pretty normal these days. Hopefully, after this round, everyone will get well and stay that way.


A little funny about Angel Hospital...a few years ago when my mema was in the hospital, I went to visit her. I asked for her room number, and the desk clerk looked on a sheet of notebook paper to find her name and room number! Maybe that helps explain the pharmacy situation as well:-)

Natalie and Abby say....

GO HEELS!!!!

Tar Heels rock!


(They are very sad the game is too late for them to watch. They really wanted to wear their cute UNC shirts from Aunt Reagan.)

Weight Update

Just a little update as of Wednesday, March 25 ...

Abby seems to be rebounding nicely coming in at 19 # 11oz. That appears to be a 11 oz gain in 8 days. I don't know,. I'm having a hard time believing that. I guess it's possible though.

Natalie is still struggling. Her weight definately fell with her illness. She's at 18# 10oz. They are now a pound apart again.

The good news is they have eaten well the last few days and their little bellies are poking out once again. Hopefully, our next weigh-in will be better.

Ben The Tool Man!

Look what Daddy built!

Really, he did - he built it all by himself. I am so proud of him. And, the Natalie and Abby just love their new swing set. They had so much fun swinging. Their little faces just light up.

What you see is Phase I of the swing set. Phase II involves building the fort platform that will hold the slide. I can't wait for that. The girls love going down slides. They even do the big slides at the park. It's going to be great when it's all finished. Our backyard will be considerably more crowded, but it will be worth it.



I have to thank our friend, Steve, for the inspiration and the play equipment. He generously gave us the equipment left behind by the previous owners of his new house. It's absolutely wonderful. We are so grateful and blessed to have such a generous friend. Thanks Steve!

Here are a few more pics from our afternoon at our "park":-)

<---- Natalie


<--- Nat and Abby (below) Abby and Nat

A few cute pics

I was labeling recent pics and just had to post these.

Abby has been really into coloring lately. Yesterday, she found her crayon and paper and sat down to do some serious scribing....




Today, Natalie was ready to hit the beach with her styling sunglasses!


I have many more, but it's late....more next time.

Medical Moment

I took Natalie back to the doctor yesterday to check her pulse ox. At first it was only 93% again, but the doctor tried two fingers and it finally showed 94-96% (blood oxygenation, by the way). Nonetheless, we left with two more prescriptions for meds for the nebulizer so we can do some breathing treatments twice a day. And, I have to take her back in Monday for another pulse ox check.

At the same time, we happened to notice the Abby had some nasty drainage coming from her right ear. Since we were there, the doctor checked her ears. Ear infections. We're not clear if they are both infected or just the right one, but either way, we now have an antibiotic for Abby as well.

Yesterday was also the first time I heard any doctor suggest that their illnesses were due to their prematurity. She said that Natalie's reoccurring pneumonias were from their lung issues as preemies. It makes sense, but honestly, I'm not so sure. They really never had significant lung issues. Plus, they've never had problems until now. It seems to me that if her lungs were weak or "whatever", she would have had issues before 22 months old. Personally, I think it's just that they are now more exposed to germs than they were before. We've been hanging out with school- age kids and all the germs they harbor and we've been visiting more parks and in contact with all the kids there. I really think it's just a matter of exposure.

The matter of exposure actually causes quite a conundrum. At what point does the risk of illness outweigh their need to socialize, run, play and discover new things. They have loved playing at the parks and going down slides and discovering the different kinds of play equipment. They love playing with our little neighbor and actually engage in some interactive play with him. (He loves them too - even made them Valentines - it's so cute!) But, when they are sick, they can't/don't eat and now we are losing weight again. Natalie was below 19# again at the doctor. I need to weigh them at home to really know where we stand. We just can't afford to go backwards - or even stand still. And we were doing so well....

I'm not sure what we are going to do exactly. We are building a playset in the beackyard this weekend. W and B's dad let us have this amazing play equipment that the people had left at his new house. There are two swings, a pull-up rings/bar thingy, a two-person glider, an army climbing thingy, a great slide and I sent the tire swing to my dad's. It's great stuff. At least we can play in our own little park if we decide to become hermits.
..................................

I'm working on a language update so keep checking back. The girls are making great strides - especially Abby. But, Natalie has really come along in the last two weeks or so. I'll try to finish it soon.

Oh, what a day...

It's been one of those days. Last week, about this time, Abby spiked a fever and a cold. She also woke up late at night and would cough and then cry, as if her throat hurt. I took her to the doctor last Friday because I was afraid she could have strep. (W - the little boy I watch had it earlier in the week.)

Turned out she was fine - just something viral she would get over. Which she did in a few days - at least her fever went away. Of course, the runny nose takes longer. But, since Abby didn't have anything big, I didn't think much of it when Natalie started getting sick on Sunday. She was out of sorts until Monday afternoon and then seemed better. Yesterday, however, she started spiking a fever again and woke up this morning about 4am with a horrible cough. We were up about 2 hours.

Today, I had to pick W and B up early - at 9am (no school). Ben stayed with the girls but when I got back, I discovered Natalie still had her little cough and had a fever. So, I decided to take her in for a quick visit. Here's where the day goes all wrong.

Keep in mind that sick visits are usually about 30 minutes. I'm usually in and out. No big deal. We had big plans today to go to "Jumping Beans", a nearby inflatable play place. I was doubting whether we'd make that, but I figured we could at least take in some parks and Natalie could swing. Well. So much for all that.

Here are the days events:
9:45ish - arrive back at my house with W and B
call dr. dress girls, leave
10:40 arrive at dr.
one med student, one resident, one attending, one nurse with pulse ox reading (sating at only 93%), one x-ray, more waiting for x-ray to be read and a total of 2 hours later, we leave with our prescription and a diagnosis of probably pneumonia - unless it's just left over from a month ago, but we should treat it anyway.

The kids were spent - all of them. Me too. I have to say that W (almost 8) and B(almost 6) were absolutely amazing. They truly are the best kids ever. They never whined or cried or threw a fit. A few times they asked if we would be done soon and said they wanted to go home (I replied, I did too!). This was NOT how they had planned to spend a fun-packed day with JoJo. I felt SO bad for them.

By this point, I was not above bribing/rewarding/compensating their incredible behavior with promises of lunch and toys from Target.

By 1:00pm, we were at a favorite spot - Mellow Mushroom - for pizza. By 2ish, we were hitting Target for well-earned toys. At 3pm, we were rescued by their dear aunt who agreed to watch the kids while they played with their cousins.

By the time I dropped them off with full-bellies and new toys, I don't think they hated me too much. Then I took poor little Natalie and Abby home for naps and relief. Abby didn't really sleep much, so we played a little.

All in all, it was a pretty awful day. I felt bad on every account: as a mommy because my babies were sick; as a nanny for dragging the kids through all that and ruining their day; as a mommy for trying to balance my kids needs and my charges needs to try to make everyone happy; as a babysitter for failing to provide an enjoyable day. As far as I'm concerned I failed on both accounts: mommy and babysitter.

Oh, did I mention I have a horrible cold and can't breathe when I lay down?

*big sigh*

To top it all off, my sister is coming tomorrow and we were supposed to go to my mom and mema's for the weekend. Needless to say, we won't be doing that. The babies need to rest, recuperate and not infect anyone.

I really hope tomorrow is a better day. It has to be, right?


edited at 10:30pm to add: Abby just spiked another 102 temp and threw up. Ahh, the glamor of spit-up on your face and down your shirt....

I know, I know...

I've been bad. It's not that I've been busy really. I've had plenty of time in the evenings to blog to my heart's content. Instead, I've obsessively surfed the Internet for stories on the Octomom and spent countless hours bemoaning Jon and Kate Plus 8 on gosselinswithoutpity.com.

In my defense, since the above do not help my case at all, when it comes to the blog, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I like to write, and when I do, I want to do it well. So, sometimes I'm tired and don't feel like putting my thinking brain on. Other times, there is so much to report that I'm overwhelmed into paralysis.

So, I'm behind. Very, very behind. It's dawned on me that blogging while the girls eat is a perfect time, so that's what they - and I are doing. The next few days of posts will likely be disjointed and random, but, hey, beggars can't be choosy:-)

Where to start....since they are currently eating, we will start there.

Eating. Eating is better. This morning we are having diced pears(which they do not seem to favor), sliced grapes (which they do like) and one half a chicken nugget dipped in ketchup (which they love - at least the dipping part.) Usually, they have sausage for breakfast, which they LOVE, but I didn't feel like cooking. They tend to like spicier things better including mild curry and their favorite, Brunswick Stew with a kick of pepper. They are not interested in mild flavors or anything that resembles baby food including yogurt. They love to take bites of Daddy's apples and love diced peaches. Tonight (hours after this post started), grilled pork chops were a hit as well. We have also discovered that Natalie loves pizza. Their likes and dislikes seem to come and go though. One day they will love something, and the next - not so much.

As far as their bottles - we are in the process of weeding out the midnight one. It's not so much that I mind it, since I'm up anyway, but they are almost two. At some point, they need to give up the bottles and sleep a straight 10 hours without eating. The can't go to kindergarten with bottles which is only is *GASP* three more years! We are hoping they will start drinking more from their straw cups during the day. That's the hope. The last few days have been hit or miss. Since Thursday the girls have been trading fevers and colds and haven't been eating as well. They've also been waking up crying in the night. In other words, they are are acting normal for once. I'm not a fan. On the other hand, they have been sleeping very late - at least til 10 each morning. Of this, I am a fan. This morning, I had the same cold and was very happy to be able to sleep late.

Their weights are holding steady. We had some huge gains at the first of the month, but have lost since then. Today, Natalie only weighed 19#1 oz and Abby 19# even. I'm a little confused by this. They certainly haven't cut their intake enough to warrant such losses. I'm beginning to think that the results on Mar 2, were a bit inflated, especially for Abby who was 19# 11oz. Maybe she had a big poop inside....

All in all we are making progress, I think, on the eating front. They are working with their spoons and forks and doing quite well. They love to scoop with the spoon. Interestingly, Abby seems to be favoring her left-hand when it comes to eating. She may take after her Auntie Kimmy.

I have much more to share so stay tuned...and be patient. I still need to get some mindless surfing in....

Wordless Wednesday

One of the blogs I follow does something called "Wordless Wednesday". On Wednesdays, she just posts pictures. I love the idea. Of course, I've already blown it by writing this much. That, and who really believes I'll be able to keep my mouth/keyboard shut and say absolutely nothing. Ha!

So, maybe we'll have Nearly Wordless Wednesdays (like nearly Headless Nick in Harry Potter).

So, to start...a few recent pics.

Fun with Poppy at the Park

Poppy's here! Poppy arrived late last night and the girls were so happy to see him this morning. After a little breakfast and play therapy (more on this later), we packed things up for the park. NC weather being what it is, it was a beautiful 61 degrees today (I haven't mentioned we had 2 inches of snow Monday).

The park was great. Natalie just wanted to explore. She was particularly interested in heading to the large mud/water puddles. Poppy had to keep chasing her and reigning her back in. Abby was interested in climbing, but not as much usual. They both went down the slides a few times, but mostly they wanted to wander.

The park has a little hiking path and a bridge that takes you there. We headed out over the bridge to see where it would go. Mostly it lead to very wet ground, so we just stayed on the bridge. Natalie and Abby were so cute - running across the bridge and peering into the water. Abby even added a new word to her vocabulary = "wahwah"! She just said it all on her own. Natalie didn't say it, but she did sign it. This is also new for her. They were watching Baby Signing Time earlier today and every time they seem to pick up a new word. I guess today it's "water".

The girls also really enjoyed the swings. They just smiled and laughed. They had so much fun!

We had a little lunch at Chick-Fil-A and were slightly disappointed to find that the girls are too little for the play area there. It would have been a great additional indoor play space. Oh, well, maybe in a few years.

The girls napped late, although I think I use the term nap lightly. It sounded more like a lot of laughing and playing to me. I took a little snooze myself, so I'm not sure if they ever actually went to sleep.

Tonight was also Daddy Date Night - this time with Natalie. They went to the mall for play time and then had burgers at the food court. Ben said she ate them quite well.

It was a busy day, but fun. The girls will have more special time with Poppy tomorrow. It's going to be even nicer - 69 degrees. Oh, this weekend - 74. Crazy NC weather!

(I'll try to add pictures later)

Our First Ponytails!

How cute are we?

Daddy Date Night

In lieu of Little Gym, we have decided to start Daddy Date Night. We really want the girls to spend some time one on one with us as well as have some time apart to find and develop their own selves. So, every Thursday, Ben will take one girl out while I stay in to spend time with the other. Tonight was the first night, and we started with Abby.

Ben took her to the mall for a little mall food and some play time at the play area. He said she was a little timid at first but eventually started climbing and playing. All the equipment is this rubbery stuff which is perfect for kids. There is a giant lighthouse with steps that lead to a slide. I think he said she enjoyed that. Dinner was Chick-Fil-A nuggets - about 2. Abby has become a big fan of dipping things though and Ben said she had quite a blast sticking her fingers in the sauce and sucking it off.

Meanwhile back at the homestead...I discovered that the house is VERY quiet without Abby. It is very apparent that she is the noise maker. Natalie said almost nothing while she was gone. She talks when Abby is with her (although not as much as Abby), but without her sister, she's just mum. It's kind of strange. I guess they are talking to each other so she has more to say.

The experience actually proved to me how important it is that we have them spend some time apart from each other. I want Natalie to find her own voice - in all ways literal and symbolic. They need our individual attention as well and not grow up feeling that they are just a package deal.

Natalie did enjoy her time without Abby - however quiet. Although, then again, maybe she enjoyed that too. She took a bath and was able to have all the toys and bubbles to herself as well as the prime seat in front of the spigot. Abby has recently come to dislike the bath and cries and tries to climb out. As a result, they are often shortened. Today, Natalie got to stay in as long as she wanted and laugh and splash. It was really cute.

We also attempted to color (which mostly involves trying to keep her from eating the crayons) and read some books together. It was nice to be able to focus on just one little girl.

I hope the girls had as much fun as mommy and daddy. I'm excited about getting to know Natalie and Abby individually. It's the beginning of a beautiful tradition.

Oh my goodness!

I am so happy I can hardly stand it. After a week at Ya-Ya and Grandpa's and 4 days with me at Grammy and Mema's, we are finally home and I have weighed the girls. Are you ready for this....


Natalie - 19# 2 oz!!!!!

Abby - 19# 3.5 oz!!!!!

I am so excited. Remember, they lost over a pound each when they were sick. Two weeks ago Natalie weighed only 17# 10oz and Abby only 17# 11oz. They have gained 1# and 8/9 oz in two weeks. We are finally back on track.

That's the good news, of course. If I want to look at it realistically, it means they are just back at the weights they were over a month ago. January 20, they were 18$14oz and 18#11oz (Abby). So if you look at it that way, they have only gained 4 oz and 8.5 oz in a month. But, hey, that's WAY better than losing a pound in a month, so we'll take it. They are only a few ounces behind their monthly average. And they have finally officially hit 19 pounds! The big 20 is just around the corner. We can finally change the car seats around. Actually, I may do it anyway. The poor babies are tall for their 19 pounds. Last check, they were 33 inches. Their poor little legs are so squished in the rear facing seats. They have to sit in a V with their legs to the side. It can't be comfortable.

The other good news is that they have been eating really, really well. Obviously. Every time they go to Ya-Ya's it seems to jump start their eating. I don't know WHAT she does, but it works. It's like eating boot-camp. (as an aside - right now the girls are looking at a photo book. They are on a page with Ya-Ya and Grandpa and just pointing at it and laughing and smiling. It's so cute:-)) They have been doing incredibly well with their solids lately - actually since they were sick. They love sausage and any kind of fruit. Spaghetti was also a hit along with broccoli. They loved the Brunswick Stew my uncle's family made. They actually seem to enjoy foods with a lot of taste and spice. No more boring purred foods for them! On the way home yesterday, we stopped at Wendy's. I showed Abby how to dip her chicken nuggets into the honey mustard sauce. She loved it. It was funny to watch. She's take the tiniest piece of chicken and dip it, then eat it. She also enjoyed dipping the kidney beans from the chili.

They have become very independent in their eating. Natalie will still let us feed her sometimes, but Abby is very insistent on doing it herself. We are trying to work more with the fork and spoon. If you spear something, they will take the fork and eat it, but they have a hard time spearing anything themselves.

They have gotten better with their milk too. We do about 4 bottles a day, sometimes only 3 if they miss their nap on the days I babysit. But, they drink their straw cups throughout the day so I figure they get at least 24 ounces of pediasure a day now. I'm SO proud of them.

I much more to report about the girls travels and pictures to post, but I just had to share the news about their weight. Tune in soon for the Adventures of Plumpy and Pudgy!

Much, much better

The girls are back to normal! They are eating again and playing like normal. In fact, they are feeling so good that they are at Ya-Ya and Grandpa's!

We are making up for their missed trip two weeks ago. Ben's grandma is still there, so we wanted her to be able to spend some time with them. Plus, we needed to work on our kitchen.

From what I hear, the girls are having a blast at the grandparents. We'll have pictures and tales when they return!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I have to confess, we aren't much on romantic mushiness. In 11 years, I think Ben and I have given each other 2 cards. So, instead of longing glances across a candlelit table, we tore apart our kitchen. And since the kids are at their grandparents and I have nothing to report, you'll get to hear all about it!

We started Saturday and really got a lot done. I was pretty proud of ourselves. Our contractor arrived at 1 and worked with us until 5:30. We tore down tore down the kitchen counter bar, tore out drywall, removed studs, took a trip to Lowe's, and put up new headers so the ceiling won't fall down.

We were proud, but very tired at the end of the day. And sore, oh so sore. Ibuprofen is a life saver.

Sunday, Ben got an early start. Well, earlier than me. I slept until noon. Ben cut down some more drywall and put up another header all by himself! I was very proud. Our contractor arrived at 1pm, and we finished framing a wall. The big issue was trying to create a corner from an oddly shaped intersection so the dry wall would do on flush. That took a good bit of discussion, figuring, and trial and error. We didn't have much to do though, so we were finished by 3:30.

In the end, we have everything ready for the electrician to come this week and move outlets, light fixtures, and light switches. Once that is done, the inspector comes to okay it. Then we can re-dry wall, fix the counter and Phase I will be complete. Hopefully, all this will be complete when the girls return on Sunday or Monday. (I am going down Wednesday to spend the night and then leaving Thursday to go all the way to my dad's. we will return either Sunday night or Monday early afternoon.)

Phase II will involve choosing the cabinets and counter tops and new floors.

Phase III will involve new carpet - hopefully.

I'm actually pretty pleased with ourselves. Ben and I aren't really that great on our follow-through-ness. We have great ideas, but frankly, sometimes we can be a little lazy. But we did it! We actually did it. We are really happy too. We love the way things look so far and are so excited about the upcoming finished project.

Here are a few pictures so you can visualize what we have been up to!

















































So - the fridge has now been moved next the the sink counter (where a wall used to be). The wall will be drywalled behind it.










The new cabinets and counters will now run from where the fridge was to where the bookshelf is. The bookshelf represents where another cabinet and bar will be.




The table will be on the other side of the bar in the new "eat-in" kitchen area.

On the mend...

I think we are on the mend. Well, Natalie and Abby seem to be. Ben and I feel like crap.

Saturday was the first day in a week the girls don't have a fever. This is a very good thing. It should mean the new antibiotic is working.

Speaking of the new antibiotic...I actually went to the ER with Natalie Saturday because she had what appeared to be blood in her stool. Of course, after we arrived, Ben called and said Abby had the same thing. We figured immediately it had to be the new medicine. So, I told the doctor who looked it up and it turns out a red discolored stool is a rare side effect on 1-2% of patients. Figures.

So, $75 and 2 hours later, we are back home. Natalie ate 3 or 4 oz of her milk - and immediately through it up. This is happening with both of them and I can't quite figure it out.

Monday went pretty well. They still have runny noses and coughs, but they have energy back and are playing. I went back to work Monday and took all the kids to the park since it was a balmy 65-70 degrees here. Natalie and Abby had a great time. They ran all around, climbed up everything and went down the big slides - all by themselves!

Unfortunately, they still aren't eating very well. I weighed them yesterday. Oh my. It wasn't good at all. In fact it was far worse than I imagined. Abby weighed only 17#11oz. Natalie was 17#10oz. Staggering - in a bad way. Well over a pound lost. They now weigh less than they did two months ago. I'm pretty bummed about it. They were doing so well. We have an appointment with the Duke SICC sometime in February or March. I was so excited to go in and show how much they've gained. Now, I'll get the bad looks and concerned faces.

At least we are on the mend. Ben and I are doing slightly better. I can breathe now, which is nice. Ben felt pretty bad last night, but hopefully today is better.

Let's hope the girls go on an eating spree.

The Big "P"

Well, it was back to the doctor for the girls. After nearly 3 days on antibiotics with no improvement, we had to go back.

The results: Natalie has Pneumonia - in her left lung, I think. Abby still has no discernible source of infection, but she sure feels down right icky.

I was actually expecting the pneunomia diagnosis for Abby since she appears to feel worse. She was just pitiful today, sleeping almost all day and then moaning and only wanting to be held when awake.

We have a new, stronger antibiotic which only has to be given once a day (shew) and in a lesser dose. Hopefully, we will have better luck getting it in them. Unfortunately, it is not a yummy, bubble gum flavor. It's sort of a brown, yucky, nasty color. There's no telling what it tastes like.

So, the babies are still sick, Daddy is starting to feel bad, and I think I'm taking a cold. The girls haven't been able to go stay with their grandparents, great-grandma, and aunt Susie for a week as planned, and we won't be able to start our kitchen project this weekend. I haven't been able to work all week, so Walker and Blaire's mom had been shuffling around with fill-in child-care. (You can't know how bad this makes me feel. In the over three years I worked for them before, I think I may have missed 3 days when I was sick. I feel so awful leaving a parent in a learch.)

All in all, it's been an interesting week.

The Little Gym

Last Thursday (Jan 29), Natalie and Abby had their first organized class - at The Little Gym. For those who might not know, The Little Gym is a gymnastics-based activity gym that introduces kids to gymnastics and other sports-based activities. They start with 10 month olds and go up to 12 years. They have classes in gymnastics, cheerleading, dance, karate, and sports skills. It's a great place and kids love it.

The classes for the youngest kids are "parent and me" classes. The plan was for Daddy to have some special time with the girls every Saturday night. I went to the first class to watch (and record) and jump in if needed. I was needed. Two girls and one daddy are too much.

The class started with the kids ringing little bells to music. They then introduced themselves (well, the parents did) and were encouraged to go up and give the teacher a high five. Natalie had no fear! She walked right across the mat and high-fived the teacher! Abby was a little more timid.

Walking, running, bouncing, and dancing in a circle were next and the girls were eager participants. Daddy had a hard time keeping up.

The beloved Parachute was next. Kids love these things. Again, Natalie immediately ran out on to it not at all flustered by the movement and rattling of the chute. She loved it. After walking on the chute, all the kids and parents got to get UNDER it. They raise it up and it creates a balloon, then quickly duck under and sit on the edges. The kids can then run around under it. (We did parachute games at Johns River Camp, and this really IS fun).

After the parachute, I stepped in to help since it was time to play on the different apparatus. They have balance beams, uneven bars, and lots of cushy mattress of different sizes to go up, over and jump off. The girls had a wonderful time exploring everything and testing things out. It was really fun.

The only downside was that little miss Abby didn't take kindly to having to stop playing to sit in a circle or watch the other kids. She was very fussy and whiny when we tried to get her off the equipment. So, we have a little behavior modification to work on.

It's not surprising, really. They've not been in large group setting like that before. Actually considering this was their first interaction with lots of kids (probably 15 kids plus adults - so a lot of people), they did amazingly well. The didn't fall apart or break down or even get clingy. Abby was a little in the beginning, but once let loose on the equipment, we could barely keep up!

All in all, we had a great experience and will definitely sign them up (this was a trial class). I think we have decided to only register one kid, and switch them off every other week. Ben will do Little Gym, and I'll play at home. We will have some special one-on-one time with each girl. That is something we haven't done enough. Now that they are getting older, we really need to spend more time with them separately and foster more of their individuality.

I guess we will have to miss our second class due to the sickies. But, they should be back to normal by next week. I'll have to try to get more pictures of them trying out the balance beam and actual equipment!

A little video montage...




ps: Our success at Little Gym was followed on Friday by another successful mingling at Bible Study. The girls played happily for nearly two hours with a host of other kids and a few caregivers while we mingled with adults upstairs. They didn't cry at all (except when we tried to check on them and they saw us).

Also, my sister has pointed out the coincidence between the girls first real introduction to kids en masse and the fact that they have been sick for going on five days. It's not a pretty conclusion. Hopefully, interacting with other kids won't result in being out of commission for a week every single time!

Poor Babies - update update

Day 4 of Sick Babies. Yesterday, with Abby's temperature climbing towards 103/104, I took her to the doctor as well. Despite a raging temp, the doctor couldn't find anything obvious wrong with her. No ear infections and clear lungs.

Amoxicillian was prescribed (just in case), so now we get to try to force Abby's medicine down as well as Natalie's. This is a very sad process and usually results in copious vomiting.

Speaking of vomiting, if we didn't need new carpet before...we do now. And a new couch. Good thing our furniture is dark brown. I think the main problem is that they are coughing SO much and so hard that they are just throwing up every time. Unfortunately, not every instance is coughing related, which makes me wonder what kind of bug they really have. Often, within ten minutes or so after eating, they will throw up - even without coughing.

It's a good thing the girls gained a pound in January, because it's all gone now, I'm sure. They haven't been able to eat more than about 4 ounces a few times a day since Sunday. And as I said, that gets thrown up. It's sad really. They actually get quite hungry. They start to fuss and whine. We finally realize they are hungry (it's not a usual child's screaming and carrying on), and they eat (either pediasure or pedialyte) like they are starving...and then throw up ten minutes later. My only hope is that when they are better they will eat like crazy people to make up for their weight loss.

So, the update is...everything is the same. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Poor Babies - update

Natalie wasn't any better this morning so it was off to the doctor. Poor little girl has an ear infection in her left ear. That explains the fever, but not the cough and throwing up. I think she just has a bug as well. Abby seems to have the coughing/throw-up bug, but not as much fever. Although, Abby seems to feel worse today than yesterday, so it may mean another trip to the doctor tomorrow for her.

I was finally able to get Natalie to drink some pedialyte with her mixed with her antibiotic and Tylenol. At the doctor, she weighed 18# 4oz. Not so good. I'm also worried about her dehydrating.

As of 7:30pm, Abby's fever is up as well - to 102ish. They are both pretty miserable. Even sick though, I have the best babies ever. They just want to sleep -which they've been doing pretty much all day. I don't think Abby has even been down her slide:-(

Hopefully, the night will be uneventful and the babies will sleep well and let their bodies heal and they will feel better tomorrow.

Poor Babies

The babies have the sickies:-(

When I got Natalie up last night about 1am to feed her, she was burning up. She had a fever of about 103. She also kept throwing up and was breathing fast. Poor little thing felt so bad. After some Tylenol and a breathing treatment, she finally fell off to sleep.

In the mean time, Ben had to get up to deal with Abby who woke up, but refused to eat at first. After a few tries and a few throw-ups, Abby also finally ate and went to sleep.

I finally got in the bed about 3:30, I think. At some point, Natalie woke up fussing and she was hungry, which was good.

The rest of the night is a blur. I think Ben got up and fed the girls around 6:30am. They went back to sleep which was great since we both got some more sleep. Ben let me sleep much later.

Abby hasn't been as sick as Natalie. She's thrown up some but her fever isn't as high. They both played around a bit this afternoon, but then Natalie fever came back and she went back to bed. At last check around 9:30pm is was about 102.

I suspect it will be a late night. I'm going to have to try and get some more Tylenol in her. It's tough when she spits it out and then throws up. If she's not better tomorrow, it's off to the doctor for us. Hopefully, they will feel much better in the morning and this isn't the beginning of anything serious.

on a lighter note: Ben was fixing Abby a bottle today. He could hear her on the other side of the bar say, "uh-oh". He looked around, and she had thrown-up and was saying, "uh-oh, uh-oh". She's still cute, even when she is sick:-)